Day 659 - Creation and How to Make it Happen

I've noticed an interesting thing within my life in terms of creating things for myself. That being in many instances I require to "just go for it" and some instances even "dare myself to go there".

Why do I say "just go for it" and "dare myself to go there"?

I've noticed that within myself, fear has been a mitigating factor...a controlling factor really....a deal breaker...something that superimposes me to not actually want to create/express myself beyond my current status of acceptances and allowances.

Lets look at how I started dating my first girlfriend: She was a girl who I didn't really know all that well...other than that she played some sports at the high school I attended and that I was attracted to her looks and the fact that she was interested in sports. Also, we both had the same english teacher....I had the teacher first period...and she had the teacher second period...and oh ya....our lockers were near by one another.

So, what is interesting here is that we would cross paths within our day and we kind of looked at each other but didn't say anything to each other. This went on for a little bit. I decided that I wanted to talk to her and get her phone number so I could further get to know her because She was interesting to me. Anywho, I planned to talk to her and tell her I had been noticing her around and that I would like to get her phone number.

Interestingly enough, when the time came to actually say hi to her and share with her what I planned to say...its like I panicked...and was faced with this wall of resistance...nervousness....fear...doubt...uncertainty as to whether or not I would get her number. It's like I was paralyzed in actually moving the point and seeing if I could make something happen here...


So, after having accepted and allowed myself to back out of daring to express myself to her...I decided to make a plan that I would do it at this specific time in the future...because I believed it to be when I would next cross paths with her as our schedules normally intersected at this specific duration within the school day. However, as opportunities are often presented unexpectedly, I was back to my locker unexpectedly after an exam...and she too was at her locker...this was not in my planning...I wanted more time...I wasnt ready I believed to actually face her in communication according to my mind of my acceptances and allowances....

I saw the point of resistance/hesitance/ingrained fear here...and I decided to just go for it...I mean I already even had it all planed out as to what I wanted to say to her.

So, I did get her phone number.

I wouldn't have got her phone number if I didn't "make it happen".

Though, now I was faced with the point of actually calling her....which was a fearful thing to me at the time...I mean it's really some irrational fear here...like fear of rejection...fear of things not working out as I would like them to. Though what is interesting about this is that...by not doing anything...I am stuck within the point of nothing really happening/developing.

So I decided to just go for it..despite experiencing some anxiety/fear/nervousness/resistance about doing so,

I made it happen by dialing her phone number and calling her.

It really isn't that physically demanding to dial a phone number...though I had made the experience seem like an arduous task.

Calling her a second time was easier than the first time.

After talking on the phone I decided to ask her on a date.

I made it happen by asking her.



So from my example sharing here, can you see how I created a relationship? Do you see how I "made it happen"?

In looking specifically at the creation process, it's a physical movement...a communication...a specifically structured self-willing expression of oneself here.


I like the statement: "Ask and you shall receive"

This does not necessarily mean you are going to get what you ask for....but it does in fact mean you will get a response/feedback....whether it is the response you are looking for or it is not.  The practically of asking questions is that we "Create" process and progress which assists and supports further development/creation.

Say you are wanting to ask someone for help but you fear them neglecting to help you....well, ironically enough you are not helping yourself by not asking for help. In fact you are getting exactly what it is you don't want by accepting and allowing the fear that you don't want to take precedence over the potential of the possibility of making what it is you do want to happen.


Another example:

Creating an activity for myself and others:

Often after school I would arrange road hockey games. I really liked to play hockey as a child. I would call up every friend in the neighborhood to see who was interested in playing hockey. I would tell my brother to call all his friends in neighborhood to see who wanted to play hockey.

I made the decision that I wanted to play a game of hockey.

I took the "initiative" to facilitate the happening of the hockey game.

I made it happen.


What's interesting to see here within this hockey game example is that prior to me making the call....no one else had taken the "initiative" to making a hockey game happen. It's not to say, nobody wanted to play hockey...because in fact many people often played when I would make my round of calls to see who was interested in taking part in the game.


Let's now look at another example in regards to organizing social endeavors:

So, there was a time when I felt jaded about being the guy who was always making the plans for things to happen....and so I decided that I didn't want to take the "initiative" anymore and that I would just accept invitations or reject invitations to social endeavors that someone else put in the time to orchestrate.
What I noticed within this approach is that I was making a big deal about taking "initiative" and "making things happen"...and that I was being quite stubborn in neglecting the CREATION of Awesomeness.


Another example:

How I met my second girlfriend:

So, I noticed that I was generally neglecting to really genuinely express myself to girls in which I was attracted to....like the point of fear/self-consciousness/nervousness existed...

So, I decided that I am just going to go for it and be outward in my self-expression and that I am totally fine with whether or not my self-expression is well regarded. I figured this to be a cool point, because I was sharing myself and not holding myself back...and therefore I was CREATING the opportunity for something to develop and unfold by daring to exist within the unknown of a moment/situation...and that by taking this approach...I would have no regrets because I actually wouldn't be able to wonder about if  I actually went where I resisted going...or did what I resisted doing...or said what I was really thinking..

So, I was out at the pub this very night....and I had actually written about how I do not need a relationship with anyone and that I am perfectly content with being a single dude here....yet at the same time I was kind of seeing that by having a solid relationship with myself, the potential exists to have a solid relationship with anyone...and so, I was kind of thinking that I don't need a "special" relationship with One person....I can have relationships with all sorts of girls.

Anywho, as I was heading outside for a smoke, this girl caught my attention as we were crossing paths...and it was quite crowded and loud within the pub...and as we were in the midst of crossing paths, I decided that I would put my hand out and say and gesture "high-five" to her. She went for my high-five...and when she did, I gently squeezed her hand and moved inward and looked her in the eyes and said, "i just wanted to tell you that I thing your beautiful"...and then I let go of her hand and continued on my way out of the pub to have a smoke.

As I was coming back into the pub...it just so happened that the girl saw me...and she yelled to me "High-five"...and we locked eyes for a moment...and I was happy to see her and her outgoing response towards me...and I decided to go for a hug....and we hugged and after we chatted for a good little while and we found out that we had some common interests and that we were both in the midst of reading the same book.

The interesting thing about this example is that nothing would have developed here if I did not take the initiative to "make something happen". We dated for a good two years.


OK, another example:

So, I had been playing around within the point of stand up comedy and I had been writing stuff and also sharing what I thought was so awesome...specifically, "the Science of Awesome"....So, the "Science of Awesome" for those who haven't been privy to being educated within this Science:

'Do You Know why Awesome is so Awesome?'

'Because it's Awe So Me!

'You Know, because Awesome is always, all ways AWE-SO-ME'....and that's why when you say and see something that is Awesome, You are like, AWE, that is SO, ME! AWESOME! Because there is always Some Awe with Awesome....and it Takes One to Know One...and TAG, You're It!...and that's why the More You Know Awesome, the More You are It....because that's fucking Awesome....and when You Get it....You Got it!  Get it? Got It! Good!

"Do you know why Good is so Good?"

"Because Good is like God....But, with an Extra O.....And that is why multiple O's are so Good. Because it's like good god ohhhh god that's Gooooooooood.

"Get it, Got it, Good!"

"Fucking Awesome"

"Awe Ya"


Lol, pardon my silliness.


Ok, back to my story...about stand up comedy and the sharing of the Science of Awesome....

So, I had shared this science with many, many, many people....and the science was well received....I mean it is pretty fucking awesome.

Anywho, so I know the Science of Awesome is Awesome...I mean I wrote the science....and it had been peer reviewed countless times....

I remember being at the comedy club one time and I shared the science with a bunch of comedians that performed that night...I wasn't performing that night...but had took the initiative to shoot the shit with the comics afterwards and express my enjoyment about their performances. So, we get to joking around and I share my bit about Awesome and Good...and the comic I regard as the most talented in the bunch...tells me that I'm on another level than him....that this is some holy shit...

So, I get cool feedback from the comics as a result of making/taking the initiative to compliment their performances. I end up leaving the club with all the comics and going to one of their places to continue joking around...

So, cool learning and sharing's opened up as a result of making a point of expressing myself..

Note: I didn't know how things would unfold within expressing myself...however, it is cool to see how cool opportunities are often synonymous within creating the space to express and articulate ourselves.

Ok, the story continues....

So, a comedian I had been really enjoying at the time was coming to town.....I decided I was going to share the Science of Awesome with him...and basically wow him to the point where he's going to give me an opportunity to fast track myself within the world of stand up comedy....

So, I see the dude's show...and I am face to face with him after the show shaking hands....and I......

accept and allow myself to be influenced by fear/resistance....and I hold back from sharing the Science of Awesome with him.

How Unfortunate.

What a tragic comedy really...

There was potential in that moment to share the Science of Awesome with a comic I regarded as pretty fucking awesome...and I feared not getting his approval.


So,


When we allow ourselves to stand within and as the starting point of Creation/Expression Here...there exists no loss...fear of loss.....because we are Giving Everything we Got to Give in that Moment as the unconditional expression/movement/creation of ourself Here....and we are in fact living up to Our Potential.....Which, in and of itself,.....

is.....


Pretty Fucking Awesome!

Day 653 - Surprise is the Sure Prize and Sure Price?

It's fascinating to see how I have in many instances...

Actually resisted giving myself the surprise...

As the point of pushing into the unknown of myself here because there is no "energy" and "motivation" to do so...

Like there is no pulling and or pushing "Energy Experience" inside myself to do/create from moment to moment that is like this impulse....

Yet, what I find interesting about this...

Is,

.........,

At the same time,

..........,

There is......

This....

 Very Physical Point of Myself Existing Here.

 Me.,

 The Starting Point

of....

and as.....

 Me/My Being Here...

 Which,

 Is Always....

 All ways about pulling and pushing things open

 As the movement of me here

To

Explore/Play/Work/Develop/Create

Responsibilities.

I experience myself in many moments missing this "Self-Innovation Responsibility" of myself here...,

As a result of negating and neglecting to develop and open up the potential surprise and sure prize...

As the exploration into and as the unknown will surely bring forth new insight,,,

Which is obviously a sure price to pay....

Because isn't self-discovery and self-awareness the sure price...

When and as One is all ways willing to invest...

As our time here,

Because our ability to in fact enjoy our time here comes from and as our awareness here,

Being able to direct our response able connections/relations

Within and as the expression of self-awareness and Self-Responsibility.

This being our Why and Who and how of What We in Fact are.....





What am I exploring about directing and responding in accordance with our awareness?



Self-movement, self-actuality, self-creation, our potential, innovation, exploration, discovery, insight, uncovering, new development, process and progress, learning, new, education, standing status, increased potential.....etc...etc..

So,

to be more specific here in the moment:


I am looking at how and why it is there has been such a hesitance and resistance to actually creating a full time vocation to the innovation of Awesomeness and Cool in and as my expression of myself here from moment to moment ?..........

So,

Specifically,

I am seeing how there is things/activities/points that i see as being interesting and cool to explore.....BUT....have not actually pushed myself into moving through and developing because I do not know what the Prize and Price will be at/as the harvest of my fruits/labor...., which is interesting in and of itself because it's like I justify not testing and exploring the depths of my capacity because I don't know what they are and I cannot actually see them...so therefore kind of artificially inducing the logic that because I don't know/see it....then it can not in fact exist...

and here the kicker...

the kick starter...

as the potential that I am, always exists here....

yet the potential that I create is the...

in the moment movement of myself that can only be witnessed as myself in and as the moment I make the decision to participate within and as the exercising my movement/potential here....

which is fascinating because as I actually dare to move/explore/investigate/play/work,

I in fact actually act out  my response abilities to and as what is in fact best for Life....,

which is in fact interesting and fascinating within and as how the process of and as my self-creation/innovation in fact works here as the labor of movement/birth/breath/physicality here.



Why is the question?

the King of the Quests.....

yes, WHY, is in fact the Question.

When You Ask WHY....You Get to Know HOW and WHO.....because HOW and WHO are related to WHY....because HOW and WHO were created and innovated through WHY....

I say through WHY...because it is a passing on type of process as in and how it is in fact that we create/move/share/develop/grow/learn.....

Sharing is Caring principle at work/play here....

because,

as the cause that be....,

this is the essential ingredient/recipe in putting together the whole picture/puzzle that originated as the WHY....

and since we are WHY...

We know HOW and WHO...

because we are also the WHO and the HOW because all LIFE is ALWAYS Relative,

which is fascinating in and of itself because all Life is always here within and as the CREATION PROCESS HERE.

It's FUN and Fascinating to explore our potential as we enable ourself to move for the sake of moving as the exercising, working and playing of and as our Natural Learning Ability here.

What is so cool about this, is that, we are essentially a "Surprise".

The saying comes to mind: "Life is full of Surprises".....which I see can also mean....Life Is Full of Itself.....Which I see is; Within and so Without.....Internal equals External...

So, is "Surprise" in and of itself an expression and explanation of Our actual Potential Here?

Is Life not the Prize and Price all  must pay/give/receive?

Would it not be silly to disregard the value of All Life Here?

If One disregards aspects of Life Here...Does that mean, One is in fact disregarding the existence of their Life Here and therefore All Life Here....because, are not all Lives here connected to this One Life we are all existing within Here?

SO,

Is it important to give surprises to one another?

Is giving someone a surprise like giving someone a gift?

Is Our Life not the most valued Gift Here that has been given/bestowed to us Here?


Does it make sense that, that which has not been Forgiven has not been given for myself?

Am I able to Give Forgiveness to myself in every moment all of the time so that Everything/All of My Life is Given/Received/Lived/Expressed/Cherished...?

Is Self-forgiveness the Key/Tool to Receiving/Accessing/Unlocking/Opening Myself Up Here as the Kingdom of Heaven?

Would Life itself not be a complete surprise as the manifested expression of the Kingdom of Heaven in All it's Glory?



Looking more at "Surprise"... surname...sur-prize......"sur" the prefix meaning: "over, above, and in addition to"....survive...surcharge...survey....very sure......as above and so below....Life and Death is beyond Survival.....Death is In Life and Life is In Death....So,.. AS Within and So Without.....LIFE IS WITHOUT DEATH AND DEATH IS WITHOUT LIFE.....LIKE, Oneness and Equality together as our weather that creates the flow of the expression we sew as the fabric of Life we play with here.....

Interesting to see the parallels within our Life Fabric/Substance here and Our Fabrications here as the make up marker, covering up what is already here and clear as the purity of Nature.