Day 710 - Legging go of the Knee'd for Ego

Read this blog here that is a transcription of the video "Revenge of the Ego". Read the words, Hear the words. Take your time.

In writing the title for my blog here, the thoughts that came into my mind were "wait, hold on, I don't want to let go of the Ego do? Don't I maybe need it...or like is it possible for me to exist without it....what are other people saying about the ego....isn't there something about just kind of managing your ego....maybe I should investigate the ego more before I decide to commit to a title that supports the notion of letting go of the need for Ego."

I see my knee injury that I am facing as coming at a very pivotal time in my life. I have been utilizing this is a point of support. Support from the perspective of reflecting upon the consequential build up of my mind consciousness system acceptances and allowances.

I see this knee injury as being a wake up call of sorts from the perspective of like, "hey my body is telling me something....my mind has been telling me lots of things that I have been buying into as idea's that is like contributing to me existing here as Ego...Dare I say Super Ego....as a being who has been influenced and controlled by energy, the very energy i have given credence to...as the ego....the motivation...the motive to do or not do in so many instances...as the pull/push...why....the purpose having been the energy as the what I believed came natural to me as what I wanted...and my belief in being devout in giving myself everything I want...as like creating this compromising position of sorts...a self-sabotage...self-manipulation if you will....where the wants become congruent with the needs to such an extent that there is like a blur between what is actually what...and just become an auto-pilot drifter of sorts as following the code....the code i created within myself as the ego markings...the map of how I respond to stimuli...how I am able to function....like an addict....doing whatever it takes to feed the want that has become a believed need...and making this a purpose of sorts as kind of enveloping within myself create black hole.

The irony of course is being careless and negligent within heir of superiority as the super ego stronghold....which is like a beingness lock down into suppression where the ability to see and breathe is often negated as like an unfortunate result of being so engulfed within a state of one's own personality possession. I see this as the consequence of bad Accounting...meaning, the neglect of my words/actions/deeds....where the pile-up/build-up became a pressure point crystalization that was just too much....a tipping point. a breaking point if you will....an explosion of sorts was the experience of my knee in a moment of physical activity where it seemed like I should be able to bend and contort my body into such a position without consequence.  And reflecting on past instances...I see that I was in fact able to make such pivoting maneuvers without pain and injury....but in looking back, I did not have the accumulation buildup that I had when I went into this particular fall....it's like the pressure buildup was just too much....there was no escaping it.

This consequential fall is quite interesting in and of itself and I am grateful to be here reflecting on the points as I see here this is all part of me Learning, expanding my realization of what in fact Self-responsibility is. Seeing here how my neglect of responsibility manifested and revealed itself in my physical body as me participating in an activity without the ability to immediately bounce back up and recover...it's like I had the idea/belief that I should be able to..and that nothing will happen to me....yet I see I didn't even consider why I wasn't able to...as like initially my Ego was too much to even see what I have been doing to myself in and as my thought/word and deed without and even realizing the severity of how creation in fact works as the working of words as the put together manuals and instructions for how things are to be formed as the information used to build the structures. No, I didn't think it of any paramount importance for me to be so disciplined that I accounted for Everything within myself...each and every single thing.

So, Oopsie, I have had a slip up a mighty great fall...due to some seriously neglected...disregarded and regarded accounting...as my self valuation...self-evaluation....and the irony here...is in and as how I have been living my-self-created-evaluation...and so the results are specific to me here...as my relationship reflection of me here as/with/within Everything here...and fuck....it is clear that the moment to moment application of practical living self-responsibility has been less than effective..and therefore I am facing the consequences of believing Life to be the Kneed for Ego...as like the only way to function here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the kneed for Ego I created within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that if everyone here is an ego, than might as well be a super ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself within ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I've fucked myself so hard within ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having continuously fucked myself within and as ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting lost within my own ego.  I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the trick of ego in being for getting and the forgetting that ensues within the starting point of being all for getting...as like not seeing and realizing the togetherness of words as complimentary players here...but just abusing words as instruments of consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing words as a result of accepting and allowing myself to often regard words as meaningless...and to therefore never really care about myself or take myself as the living words seriously.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seriously fucking within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seriously fucking Everyone, Everything up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to face myself and take responsibility for fucking everything up.....like....always believing to such an extent...that I do not require to be totally accountable as being the One here who is responsible for Everything being fucked up.

I forgive myself for fearing my own judgement within placing myself in a position of standing accountable for Everything here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself as being too big an Ego to actually stand as a self-responsibility completely, embodying self-ownership for the total fuckup that exists here as everything.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get fearful in talking about Everything as a point of Existing and Life regard.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking of myself as Everything...and that being like too much.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as too little from the perspective of my potential ability to live self-responsibility here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to substantiate myself for real with my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting stuck in personality character constructions that are less than Who I really am.


To Be Continued

13/03/2015 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >>> 01/01/21

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES,

Picking up where I last left off here:

"TOO LITTLE" and "TOO MUCH" is EGO.

Equality and Oneness Together as One WORKS WELL to  Prevent the possibility of self-compromising.

PROCESS is for the PROS TO SAY ------- > PRO SAYS #worldclassplayer

To Be Continued

Day 706 - Fun Knee

It's Funny how things work out. Like when you see and realize a connection you hadn't previously considered, or like You realize something you had been avoiding/accepting that was totally ridiculous and absurd.  Like, specifically when you get into the dynamics of the relationships...this is where the fun and the haha funny moments are as like the enjoyment of the fun that can be shared together through learning which really is in fact a caring and sharing because the caring is sharing and the sharing is caring.

Why does Fun and Knee sound like funny?

Is there some sort of connection here? What's the correlation?


Well, if you look at what is really fun or funny....the funny is fun...but the fun isn't necessarily funny...unless it's added to it so to speak...as like fun can exist with the funny...but funny doesn't really exist without the fun. because have a look, if you are closed off from having any fun...it is tough to really learn anything effectively in a way that is like aha...I get it, I got it....I see....that's funny.

Funny in and of itself is an expansive point of Fun...as like the ever expanding point of fun. Funny, really is an integral part of the learning process here. Self-enjoyment is a cool description I see here as describing a relationship which is fun and funny because enjoyment....specifically self-enjoyment is a shared point...and if you look at the make up of our cells here...I mean ourselves here....you see and hear that there is so many cells/selves here....like there is so many parts that make up the whole.

All joking a side because funny is in the ability to decide as like to see for real what is in fact what. Funny is beyond the make believe. Funny is the Know thy Self curriculum. What is funny about funny and all funny a side is that You Decide...if You Can See the Funny which is a decision...which is funny in and of itself...because it's a logical reasoning that perhaps is illogical in deciding the decision you've sided with.

How I got to the Fun Knee here as my creative writing play work here is as a result of giving extra close attention to my Knee as I am in the process of Healing a Knee Injury. It's interesting in how giving extra close attention to a specific part, the potential to create new connections and possibilities exists.

In looking at myself acceptances and allowances here, I have been facing the questions of Fun and Funny in regards to my Knee. Specifically I reflect here in the self-movement of myself within and as points of Fun and Funny as the Creative Play Work Here. See, I see and realize myself as the Orchestrator of Who and How I am within and as my participations here. Gratitude is the attitude that I am working and playing with. Sometimes this has been difficult...as I have many times tripped myself up on my own self-righteousness...which is like a hiccup in effective breathing/seeing here as what is what for what it is.

What is opening up here for me is the abdication of the Funny and Fun within myself where I have allowed and accepted myself to move along without regard for the fun and funny within and as the work I do here. This strain I have done onto myself I see reflecting my knee injury as my current inability to walk effectively, as my body has revealed to me here...'stop...you cant walk like you've been walking....you are facing the consequences of accepting and allowing accumulated restraint/strain that has now manifested itself in the form of an Injury...as the inner jury no longer will continue as the strain and restraint.'

Interesting it is to see the funny in the serious and the fun in the serious as the serious fun. I find it interesting that there often comes to be a dissonance or a disconnect from the fun when there is seriousness. This sentiment of "seriousness" I see as the 'Adult' mind...as like the losing the fun of childhood and perhaps trying to get back to it...or maybe having lost it all together and not even realizing what has been lost because one is so enveloped in the "serious".  Like for instance I do not recall as a child having the same extent of mind activity...thought action as I have today....and I am not certain that all the thought action is a good thing...as I have noticed that often the though action can be of a serious nature...as like the 'police man in the head' kind of thing where there is always some sort of systematic judgement and stereo type casting taking place...and it's like really a money calculator when you see things for what they are simplistically....because the way money works is also within and as the emotion and feeling of the body whether it is positive feeling or negative emotion...both are perpetuating the dependency and the continuation of one another...and so the mind of though/feeling/emotion becomes like an individualized calculator of accounting the individualized and specialized self interest and regard for the very self created frequencies of one's particular value.

It's interesting to see how my creative writing play here has taken a turn into looking at the mind and money in regards to the adult...


To Be Continued

Day 705 - Knee Injury and the Inner Jury

This is an introductory post into what will be a series of writing's about myself in relationship to a most recent knee injury I have suffered.

A few points I would like to make note of here that will be focus topic areas of investigation:



Looking at the word Injury...and Inner Jury....and the Inner Journey required as self-reflection upon the build up of acceptances and allowances.


The vocabulary of the knee. There is much vocabulary about the knee that is somewhat foreign to me from the perspective of not being well versed in the specific words/parts of the Knee and Knee area.


Looking more closely at the functioning of the knee as a whole and as the make up of all the individual parts.


The Knee and Structural Resonance Alignment. What does the knee signify in relationship to the Mind...specifically the consequence of an accumulation of energy as Mind Consciousness Systems.


Healing my Knee with Self-forgiveness and Self-responsibility.

Note: I have looked at the structural resonance documents on more than one occasion and my self-forgiveness will be supported directly by the support and assistance I have received within reading the documents. See the link here for specific document in regards to the knee.

I will begin here at the end and work with the beginning in taking care of all points of consideration that require attention. Beginning with a general opening of self-forgiveness as the initial support and assistance recognition to allow the aid in and as my self-corrective process.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the "inner jury" within and as an Injury.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the consequences of unnecessary physical body suffering as a result of accumulated memories within myself from the starting point of feelings and or emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the impact of holding onto the memories of the past within my body with the particular charges of emotion and or feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for nor realizing and understanding how in fact memories can in fact crystallize in the body as an accumulation of accepted and allowed energetic possession that kind of like leaches off of the physical body.

I  forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the value of my knee for granted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the totality of my physical body for granted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting to a point of regard as a result of unfortunate consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being responsible for injuring me knee.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for hurting myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being insincere with the practical living daily regard for my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding all the parts of my knee and how all the parts of my knee relate to all the rest of the parts of my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being inconsiderate and believing myself to have too many physical body parts to be able to in fact regard and consider all my parts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having thought about regarding all my body parts from the perspective of getting to know all the names of the physical body parts...but to within this regard,  have a reaction of doubt and of the thought/thinking that it is not possible for me to get familiar with the vocabulary of all my body parts...or that it's not practical....even if I would like to know all the vocabulary of which I am made of.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that it is just too difficult for me to be aware of all my body parts.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing making the effort to get to know all my body parts because there is so many body parts I have taken for granted within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the physical body for granted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that my physical body is just to complicated to really know and understand absolutely.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making excuses as to why it is not likely that I can know and understand myself completely here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be impaired by vocabulary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the patients required to integrate and develop vocabulary that I am not familiar with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not really know and understand myself/physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having the idea and attitude that it's just kind of impossible to really know and understand everything about the human physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and distracting myself with excuses as to why I do not need to work as much as I am able to on a daily basis in getting to know my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting daily regard, appreciation, gratitude and consideration for my physical body.l

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to specifically know and understand the totality of my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the self-intimacy required in actually getting to know my whole physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict with my body as a result of how I am participating within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mistreat my body as a result of not taking self-responsibility for my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not taking self-responsibility for my body with the support and assistance of my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mistreat my mind as a result of not taking self-responsibility for my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard myself with a mind and body that require regard and consideration equal and one as what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding what regard and consideration for Everything as Oneness and Equality in fact means.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the physicality of words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to self-correct my misuse of words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the physical self-direction as living actions within as the words as sound here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having conflict within belief about what is possible within and as the Living Words Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for polarizing potential with disbelief, as like making sense out of non sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the irrationality within arguing/disagreeing with myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the impact of having even just one point out of physical alignment as Oneness and Equality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how consequences are perpetuated as the fear of more consequences existing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating hardship for myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being negligently unaware and dare I say oblivious to the stress and strain I have done onto my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for struggling with the living of specific regard.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding things within being lazy as like not wanting to live the patience required to investigate the detailed specifics of a point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for glossing over specific points.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a prefference for generalizing information as opposed to being specialized in detail as like really specific with information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that it is better to be more specific with information than it is to be less specific with information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare and contrast the point of generalizing information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the patience required to see the detailed specifics of all things here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for glossing over the detailed specifics with regards to the specialized vocabulary about the knee parts in and around the knee as that which contributes to the knee existing here as the knee.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being lazy with language.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I do not require to be a specialized authority of words as the authority of knowing myself here because there exists so many different kind of doctors that specialize in different sections/parts/areas of expertise...and since most people are not master specialists of themselves as like know it alls....why should I be one?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing self-responsibility for myself here as the physical authority of myself here. I forgive myself for justifying a lack of accountability for self-actualization of myself here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making sense of not taking self-responsibility for the authority of knowing myself here because there exists so many different kinds of specialists here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I am not required to be an authority here because there already exists so many different types of authority figures here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created an idea of myself as being anti-authority....and I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of such a notion as like creating a fight with myself internally that is perceived externally within other types of authority here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing the practical possibilities of self-actualization as self-authorization here. Meaning, that self-responsibility is a knowing how to physically direction one self here as all as equals.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the complications that are created within and as the acceptance and allowance of inequality..,,and that accountability and consideration is much easier to process from the starting point of equality and oneness together here as what is best for all Life.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to write myself free everyday.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the consequences of passing up even just one opportunity to write.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the motivation within and as self-forgiveness from and as the perspective of fostering and facilitating the development of new growth...as like creating something that wasnt here before....as like a new opportunity is born.