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Monday, 24 June 2013

Day 380 Boozer Loser

Day 380 Boozer Loser

Getting drunk is for losers….it’s really sad actually…it’s an embarrassment…it displays and exposes low self-worth…and it exposes the shit ton of self-suppression existent within and individual.  Getting drunk/wasted deliberately is a mental health issue that has been accepted and allowed within consumer society as like normal behavior. This is unfortunate.  The mentality is like I’m with stupid…like I just wasn't to have fun, have a good time, enjoy myself….party with others (which seems so often to mean to be with others who are also interested in indulging alcohol or other drugs for the purpose of getting buzzed/wasted/drunk/fucked up.)

I’m living in an environment, where this type of Boozer Loser behavior is rampant.  I’m living in a tree planter work community where all us workers live together in shared accommodation motel apartments. We work 4 days on and 1 day off type shifts of very long work hours. The day 4 evening is generally regarded as the time to get fucked up/wasted/drunk/party night.

I have not been at all interested in spending time hanging out with fellow workers while they hangout drinking alcohol. Many times a few people have been encouraging me to come hangout with everyone…and I have no preference in doing so whatsoever…like it seems like the worst way for me to spend my time. I don’t want to be a part of that scene at all.

I have been looking at the point of resistance to hanging out with people who are focused on getting drunk…having drinks as a way to encourage and engage in social interaction…as like to share time together. My starting point for drinking alcohol years ago was a point of being with others and like a liquid courage as to be comfortable hanging out with others who are drinking.  Interesting that drinking with others who are drinking makes you feel more comfortable and relaxed as like a putting the blinders on to not see the uncomfortable reality of situation as like a sad/depressing/unfortunate state of affairs.

I realise and understand the point of these boozer losers are me in another life…and that I know and understand boozer losers because I’ve been a boozer looser.

I question to the point of neglect within myself as like turning my back on myself…like by not wanting to be in the presence of booze fueled social gatherings I am removing myself from being seen as a visible example of practical living calm, cool, collected, relaxed, at ease with the disease that surrounds me as like realising and understanding the depressant nature of alcohol as like a way of coping with disease.

I question the point of leadership in standing alone as like a being who is not influenced by the mob mentality of looking for and wanting validation, acceptance or praise from others…but stands alone within and as principles of integrity and self-worth within living what is always best for all Life as like a living example of all Life here…without choice…because that which is best is always best and is without a choice of compromise…because that which is best has become obvious common sense as a result of self-willed commitment and determination to Journey to Life…to see as Life here without the blinders/tunnel vision

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making judgments about booze as like it being for losers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to the word loser as like defining loser as bad, and for having negative polarity energy charges to the word bad and loser.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the negative energetic polarity charges on the word bad and loser personally as like allowing and enabling myself to be under the spelling influence of a negative energetic polarity charge within accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to face the actual reality of the words bad and loser within and as equality and oneness as like it is what it is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling a guilty for resisting facing my peers while they consume copious amounts of alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting voicing the fuckedness of alcohol while living in an environment where alcohol is consumed for the purpose of getting drunk.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing abuse being directed towards me as like people taking offense to me saying alcohol is fucked…or alcohol is for losers…because that is me saying to the people that surround my immediate living and are my co-workers…that they are fucked up and that they are losers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to speak about points of brutal truth harsh reality that isn't nice from the perspective of being defensive as like a means of self-preservation and avoiding conflict…as like keeping the peace amongst the existent internal/external war perpetuated by the participation within and as mind consciousness systems as like the consciousness organic robot war.

To be continued

A point of focus within the continuation is, “mind you own business”….”it’s none of your business what I do”…”What I do, shouldn't concern you”

The ridiculousness of “if you have nothing nice to say than you should say nothing at all”

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