Day 372 Living Situation Part 2

Day 372 Living Situation Part 2

So, I see that I was over reacting a little bit about my living situation…within not realising and understanding the status of each tree planters living situation. Not all the rooms are the same…I assumed that the setup was the same in all the rooms and that because there was four of us in this room and I knew of another room where there was only 2 people in a room that was pretty much the same…that four of us were getting a raw deal. Also I see the point that I had resistance to sharing space with three other people as the couple me and my girlfriend are staying with, I didn't really know that well and I made some assumptions/judgments about not wanting nor thinking that I would like to share living space with these people.

Well, I realise I enjoy the people I am staying with, as I realise and understand that the judgments and assumptions I made up within my mind were total bullshit as like a form of logical manipulation…and also that are set up is ok. I see and realise that I was placing myself within a situation of victimization as like feeling like I’m getting screwed over….and the funny thing about this that I was not considering that it was me within my mind as what I was accepting and allowing within my thoughts and emotions that was causing the crazy train mind fuck so to speak.

Today was cool.

There was a few instances today where I was faced with the supervisor and I had thoughts about essentially projecting my emotions about the living situation on to him…and within these moments, I stopped and breathed and I realized that I wasn't still within myself and that I didn't have clarity on this point and that speaking to the supervisor from a point of emotional instability is ludicrous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing judgments and assumptions about my new roommates as like thinking I will not enjoy sharing time with them and that I don’t want to share time with them and that I feel burdened because I have to live with these people that I didn't get to choose to live with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for for victimizing myself within my thinking and emotions as like creating paranoid justifications as like fueling unpleasant experiences within myself and within this creating a sense of helplessness as like this is the situation and I'm stuck with it and the only way out of it is to quit and leave the company.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having thought about quitting the company and stopping my work because of fearing and believing that I cannot have this living situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking for things to complain about and creates reasoned justifications to be annoyed and upset.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how I am able to co-exist with others with ease and enjoyment with pretty much effortless satisfaction by not accepting and allowing myself to mentally masturbate within myself as judgment/justification/logical manipulation/doubt/self-victimization/fear/worry.

When and as I see myself getting upset about a situation I am in, I stop and breathe and I realise I am here within this situation and that I am the directive force in determining the outcome of situations I am within and without.

I realise and understand the ridiculousness of resisting to share my time with others.

I realise and understand the ridiculousness of being apprehensive about sharing living space with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted to share my time with others and for thinking that I don’t have time to share with others because I am too busy with my own time that I can’t afford to share any time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being apprehensive about sharing living space with others.

I forgive myself for not realising and understand that I really enjoy sharing time with others as like I really like communicating with others and sharing time together.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being self-righteous about living situation within creating belief of self-entitlement as like believing that I shouldn't have to share space with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having not wanted to coexist in sharing living space with roommates.

I realise the ridiculous absurd self-righteous attitude of not wanting to coexist in sharing living space with roommates.