Day 362 Making the Most of My Time Here

Day 362 Making the Most of My Time Here

I’d like to make the most of my time. I've had difficulty recently doing school work and working on DIP assignment after a long day of tree planting. For instance, today I got home a bit earlier than normal…like was only an eleven hours at work…and I had a sit down for a little bit…and I said ok, I can work on my assignment for about an hour than I can eat…then I can do some school readings. I started watching the hockey game on tv and back-chatted to myself ok I’ll watch the first period than I ‘ll do a half hour of working on my assignment before I make dinner…I was getting sleepy watching the hockey game…and decided I would have a power nap…so I could work on my various study commitments. I got up made dinner…ate kind of slowly…checked back in on the hockey game while I ate…sat back down and watched the hockey game...which ended up going into double overtime…it’s now bed time and I’m writing my blog.

I see that I should be pushing myself to do more work even though I am tired after doing physical labor all day…like the school work and the Desteni I Process work is more mental work than physical work…and doing some is better than none.

I see how it’s a problem that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by backchat as like justifications and excuses to postpone self-directed movement and this is not cool at all. This is ridiculous absurd self-sabotage.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for postponing University studies and DIP studies after work because of the justification/excuse that I am too tired and that I don’t want to do anything…I just want to lay down until I fall asleep.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being reluctant to push through the resistances I have to doing work after I finish work…as like to make myself working all the time…as like utilizing all my waking hours to work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying needing free time away from work when I have so much work to do at the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to doing my school work and DIP work after working all day planting trees.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I will be able to catch up on my studies later…like when I have a day off from tree planting…and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting and not considering the chores/errands I require to do on my day off from tree planting that cut into the time I think I will have to play catch up for not doing a bit of work each evening after tree planting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying not pushing myself as hard as I can do do as much work as I can after tree planting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not giving myself gentle pushes to do school work and DIP work after tree planting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that the hardest part in establishing consistency is getting started and keeping the momentum going with one breath at a time…like riding a bicycle….as it starts with one push and then another and another and another….and whoa it’s like I am able to coast and remain in balance….and then I can push some more and accelerate my application/speed and cover more ground faster and faster.

I realise I am here in this one Life and it’s like today is always this one opportunity to push myself to my limit…like to operate at my best…doing my best work…working as much as I can.

I realise the point of expansion here in pushing myself to do more when I think about not wanting to do more.

I realise the initial pushes are the hardest because it’s like me on the bicycle from a stand still position….and within this….I realise and understand that waiting to push myself or the pedal on the bicycle…doesn't making the push any easier…if anything there’s a disadvantage to waiting in the sense that many miles were lost in time that could have been spent pushing and accelerating in speed as the result of consistent pushing.

I commit myself to push myself.

When and as I see myself back-chatting within myself about what I can do instead of my responsibilities, I stop and breathe and push myself into self-directive action as immediately immersing myself within and as a point of self-responsibility,,,,such as my chores, errands, school studies, and DIP/

I commit myself to push myself to accelerate my movement within and as the principle of what is best for Life.

I commit myself to developing acceleration within Journey to Life Process.