Day 353 Girlfriend Planted More Trees

Day 353 Girlfriend Planted More Trees

My girlfriend planted more trees than me today. This bothered me specifically when I told her and she was so pleased and happy…I felt shitty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling shitty when my girlfriend is happy…specifically when she planted more trees than me…as like she said she knows I am a really good planter and for here to beat me made her feel really good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not liking the way my girlfriend was behaving when she found out that she planted more trees than me…so much so that I lied and told her I actually planted more trees.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing anyone to know that my girlfriend planted more trees than me in a day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling shitty when my girlfriend plants more trees than me…and also upset that she is happy that she planted more trees than me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making tree planting out to be a competition and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to plant more trees than everyone…and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking judgments about others if they plant more trees than me as like their land must have been nicer and easier to plant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be self righteous about tree planting as like regarding myself as a superior tree planter.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how ridiculous it is to be constantly comparing my results to others and like allowing myself to feel good if I know I planted more trees than everyone…and also I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be upset/disappointed if I find out that people planted more trees than me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for expecting to always be better than the majority of people tree planting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my girlfriend as an inferior tree planter compared to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making judgments about people based on the amount of trees they plant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to obsess about judgments about how fast others around me are moving and myself in relation to others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for comparing myself to others while tree planting and fearing others to plant more tree than me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to congratulate my girlfriend for having her best tree planting production day ever when she planted more trees than me…and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be frustrated and like allowing myself to experience self pity and self victimization as like it’s not fair that I had to plant such a difficult piece of land when my girlfriend had a very easy piece of land.