Day 333 Doubting My Work

So today, I had some doubts about my work planting trees, in the sense that it’s like I got extra cautious about my quality of trees I’m planting. There was mention this morning about making sure everyone is planting good trees…and I took extra time today while planting my trees as to double check to make sure I’m planting good trees….It’s like I reacted in fear to the words this morning and doubted my trees and worried/feared that if my trees weren't good I’d have to rework my land/trees and make sure everything was good. It’s ridiculous how my reaction this morning seemingly subtle…influenced my entire day. I know how to plant good trees and this is my 9^th season planting trees…so like doubting my planting abilities and fearing to have re-work my trees as consequence of not planting at my potential is ridiculous.  I planted a lot less trees today than I planted yesterday. It was a bit hotter today…like 5 degrees hotter than yesterday…for a 28 degrees Celsius. I planted just a little bit more than half what I planted the day before…I realise it’s the beginning of the season and I’m still building endurance and strength…but definitely notice how if my attitude was different…I working result would have been different. I get paid by the tree so it’s in my interest to plant good trees as efficient as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mind fucking myself today by reacting in fear/worry/doubt of my planting abilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow words spoken to scare me…as like today when the management mentioned about the importance of good quality trees and that people will have to re-work poorly planted trees….I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by these words and react in fear and worry as like not wanting to have to re-plant…and therefore take extra pre-cautions because of having lots of worry/fear about having to re-work my trees/land.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for slowing myself down planting trees when I am capable and able to move faster and work more efficiently.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself compromising myself trust within and as worrying about and entertaining the idea that people will have to re-plant their trees if the trees are not planted properly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging and comparing my tree planting performances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for attaching emotions and feelings to tree planting, specifically because the amount of trees I plant determines the amount of money I make.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a fearful and paranoid attitude about the quality of trees I plant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my capability to plant excellent trees very very very fast and efficiently.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having allowed my day of tree planting to be influenced by words I hear in the morning as like determining the attitude I will hold within myself during the day.

When and as I see myself being worried and paranoid about the trees I am planting, I stop and breathe and I realise the absurd ridiculousness of carrying on this way. I adjust my attitude to planting greatness as I realise my great tree planting abilities…and I move as the expression of tree planting greatness.

I commit myself to great tree planting.

I commit myself to trusting in my planting abilities and capabilities.

I commit myself to exercising my planting abilities and capabilities.

I commit myself to stop emotions/feelings attached to the amount of money I make.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being really happy when I make lots of money and disappointed and upset when I have days where I made less than I did on other days.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself against other tree planter…and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to know how many tree’s other people planted when I know I worked really hard and planted possibly more than anybody else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for comparing my tree planting numbers when I know I was capable of planting more trees but didn’t.

When and as I see myself making comparisons about trees planted, I stop and breathe..I realise the absurd ridiculousness of creating energetic frictioned energies within myself as either positive or negative about trees planted.