Day 298 Post Your Are as Posture

Today I've been at my desk most of the day looking at the computer screen as I have lots of research to move through with regards to my university studies. I noticed that my posture was bad and that I was sulking my shoulders...it's like I wasnt really holding myself up within myself.  I started to play around with my seating a little bit and I had some resistance to an upright postured alignment.  I noticed also that within existing in a shitty posture that I wasnt really aware of how shitty my posture was as I wasnt really aware of breathing. I noticed I would have brief moments of attention to breathing and that was when I needed to stretch myself....possibly a consequence of my bad posture. Also, I would have moments of noticing my breathing when a point of reaction would come up within myself...although sometimes I think I was just sighing and not really aware of myself as breath stability. I also noticed that I was easily tired existing with bad posture...like I was sitting in my chair because it was necessay for me to be in my chair but I wasn't really owning my pose...like a standing up within myself and embracing all of myself while sitting in the chair.  There existed a heaviness within myself while sitting in the chair...it's like I wasnt happy about sitting in the chair.

I looked at the point of sitting upright. I reflected within myself as to when this may have origniated because initially in examinning the point of sitting in a chair... I thought to myself, I always slouch and kind of hunch myself over or try to lean back in be in a  laid back positioning.

I recalled myself at piano lessons with my piano teacher. My piano teacher telling me about posture.  the discussion came up because I was sitting on the piano bench with bad posture. She explained to me the importance of good posture for playing the piano. Also she said that if I had a bad posture now, I would be sure to have bad posture when I am older and that could lead to problems. I recall testing out the upright good posture...and thinking ugghh this is work....I really am aware of myself sitting here...I don't like really feeling myself sitting here....it's much easier to sit here without feeling.

It's ridiculous the thought process that I accepted and allowed as like I didnt like feeling myself within sitting...meaning being aware of my body as like I preferred a numbness so to speak.

I noticed this behaviour within myself was like a giving in/up before I even really tried to be good at having good posture.

I see that I had justification as bullshit reasoning as to why I resisted and rebelled against good posture. I viewed piano teacher as someone I didnt really appreciate because I didn't want to be taking piano lessons. My parents were forcing me to take piano lessons and I didn't have a choice in the matter and I didnt like that. I was angry/frustrated and upset that I was missing out on doing what I wanted to do.

I had a rebellious attitude and I was willing to fight against assistance and support as like fighting/arguing for my limitation as a self interested ego reactionary response oriented individual.

The irony Here is that i'm not very good at the piano and I wish I was good at the piano and knew everything about playing the piano. I didn't think the piano was cool when I was little and now I think it would be real cool to rock out on the piano....playing and singing like Ray Charles.

I see that I created a negative relationship towards the word posture as consequence of existing within a rebellious attitude towards playing the piano.

I remember being at school and a teacher was talking about posture...and I remembered thinking about memory I had with regards to posture with my piano teacher...and I remember thinking like fuck posture...this is bullshit...and I was angry and had even more resistance...more of a neagtive energetic charge to the word posture.

In recent years I have written and spoken about the importance of posture...but I did not dig to the depths of myself to really access the origins of myself created relationship with and as the word posture.

I recall playing with the word a little bit as your posture refelcts yourself as like a picture poster as how you are presenting yourself within your stance positioning and that body positioning says lots about a being.

I didn't consider within the word posture that you are posting your acceptances and allowances for everyone to see externally in and as reflection of your posture as posture is a self reflection of the accepted and allowed posts within oneself as like the feelings/emotions/words.

Playing with the word posture for a moment as like a physical structural stretch. lol posture is like a physical structural stretch that never ends as long as were  breathing as we just change the positioning of our poses from time to time which reflects our physical balance, condtioning, stability, discipline, patience, practice, core muscles as our Hereness expression.

Posture...posterior...pasture...post sure....a sure posting as like posture is the indication of confidence or not...posture indicates unconscious physical acceptances and allowances. Posture is close in spelling to pasture and a good posture and a good pasture are very similar in that both's goodness is a result of physical conditioning in the sense that a good pasture is rich in vegetation....and vegetation grows upright...lol...posture and pasture...maybe a bit of a stretch but a good place to strech is for sure in the pasture and stretching is all about posture as it's all about hold a pose as like the positionings you could picture poster yourself in as stability in balance.

Posture is refelcted from the posterior as you want to stand tall like a tree in the pasture as upright positioning as a straight back is an indication of good posture because in order to have  a straight back you gotta be standing up within yourself as like a physical self stability in standing up for youself as the confidence to exist here within certainty of the moment of your physicality here.

Notice some really old people have really bad postures like being hunched way over forwards and in such an instance it's really difficult to hold your head up high as the structural alignment of the beings spine is bent/pushed forward as consequence of weighing one self down as like not wanting to feel the bodily presence of standing up within onself. The alternative to standing up within oneself is being numb within one's physicality and experiencing the heaviness of being weighed down as like a tiredness and a heaviness as like carrying the weight and stress as all kinds of emotional baggaged trauma of existing here against oneself as not realising and understanding self as the force of Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have negatively charged the word posture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have separated myself from and as good posture as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to judge posture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand myself within and as self reflection of words based upon early memory relationships here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have resisted and suppressed the Life Force within myself and desired to choose numbeness over physical feelings Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have suppressed physicality within myself here as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to argue and fight for my limitations as self imprisonment within my physicality.

I forgive myself for accpeting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that my relationship with words reflects the natured conditioning of my body here and how and why I exist with my body the way I do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  for having resisted taking self responsibility for my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the connection to physical breath awareness and posture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that my posture is a result of labouring breath by breath as physical working body expression here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that I have access to physical body self expression when I am labouring my breathing here as focused self disciplined responsible constant and consitent individual participation as equality and oneness within and as physicality here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding breathing as like the stem which brings water to the roots of physicality here and as consequence keeps me grounded within stuctured physicality here as a tree with deep roots.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding breath and breathing as the root stem system of physical self expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist my posting here as my posture as a self expression as who and how I am Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that bad posture indicates bad breathing as like a shallowness and a weakness which results in a physical weakness as self compromise.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have neglected my physicality here as consequence of having existed within shallowness of breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the consequences of shallowness of breath as like shutting down physical capabilities and limitless possibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understand that bad posture is consequence of the acceptances and allowance of fear.

I commit myself to good posture

I commit myself to sharing the awesomeness of expression within posture as like a physical body communication indicating the state of a beings acceptances and allowances.

I commit myself to living posture as a self expression poster of oneness and equality as what is best for Life.

I commit myself to becoming a constant consistent posture of what is always best for Life as consequence of self disciplined laboured commitment to breathing.

I commit myself to establishing physical presence as consequence of breathing awareness.

I commit myself to enhancing physical stability and nourishment as consequence of deeper breathing.

I commit myself to stopping shallow breathing.

I commit myself to learning to develop constant and consistent deep breathing.

I commit myself to learning from my mistakes.

I commit myself to the time and space necessary to birth myself as life physicality Here.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to be slouching within myself as like a here but not really here as consequence of being consumed within consciousness...I stop and breathe deep air as water into myself igniting the Life Force Fire that I am.

When and as I see myself hunched over my chair, I stop and breathe deep and hold my breath and centre myself within myself as like re-alligning my posture and stretch myself out as a point of physical body support and nourishment here. I realise myself responsibilite Here within breath. I realise myself expression is a reflection of my self direction in breathing Here.

When and as I see myself neglecting my posture, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of neglecting my posture. I face myself as consequence of neglecting my posture and re-align myself with breath self expression here.

When and as I see myself resisting something, I stop and breathe and as consequence of breath awareness I re-align physical posture to a position of assistance and support as a means of nourishing well being as I enable myself to see what I was resisting with integrity and humilty. I walk appropriate in the moment living correction as what is best for Life.

When and as I see someone I know existing within suppressed posture as consequence of shallowness of breathing as accepted and allowed fear as a consciousness mind fuck, I stop and breathe and I assess the situation from the starting point of what is best for all is best for me.