Fear Dimension:
When and as I see myself proclaiming that I was having so much fun in the past when I was immersed within weed addiction, I stop and breathe and I realise such statements/proclamations are like acts of blame which is me being lame as like fearing to see the truth of myself having existing as being a fucking loser. I make note of any energetic charges within myself connected to the point and I was process of self forgiveness as introspection into and as self realisation in stepping out of self imposed limitations.
When and as I see myself resisting to to tell someone that I was being a fucking loser for having been such a stoner, I stop and breathe and I realise the point of resistance as fear to be faced and walked through. I direct myself to move through point of hesitance within myself and speak words of support.
When and as I see myself fearing to expose the fuckedness of being a weed addict, I stop and breathe and realise the ridiculousness of fearing confrontation from being's within the wrath of weed addiction. I realise there's an art to communicating as assistance and support in the sense that I am expressing myself from a starting point of self trust standing as what's best for all life and its not based. on any polarity equation of shame/regret or self-righteousness
Backchat Dimension:
When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to participate within backchat as "I''ll just smoke this last little bit I have in this bag and then I'll quit weed for good", I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiuclousness of self compromise as back chat consequence that is not necessary for me to particpate within as I know where that leads. I not the point and furthe my application of self-forgiveness by seeing if there is anywhere within the point where I can be more specifc.
When and as I see myself having backchat about smoking weed, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of choosing to particpate within such backchat. I realise myself resposnisbility in letting go of the backchat.
When and as I see myself backchatting about positive attributes of weed as like how weed helped me and made me a better person, I stop and breathe and I realise there exist a point here that requires self correction and self forgiveness as the point of not accepting myself and believing weed to be like a jesus christ saviour miracle wonder. I realise the ridiculousness of desiring to make weed out to be this miraculous thing. I realise the self suppression within my backchat. I give myself time/opportunity/gift to/in/as releasing backchat suppressions from wihtin myself.
When and as I see myself having backchat about how weed is good for people, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculous self sabotage in preaching weed as the good news man, I realise I was being a fucking loser as consequence of weed addiction.
When as as I see myself backchatting to myself about how I am able to relate to poeple soo much better because I smoked weed, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculousness of my backchat and I realise my desire to place importance to my expression here as support I garnered from weed, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to proclaim weed as being a righteous superior cure/remedy for mankind's condtioning.
When and as I see myself desiring to proclaim weed's medicinal benefits within and as a starting point of self righteousn superiority, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculously fucked notion of proceeding in any such manner with regards to weed proclamations.
When and as I see myself not wanting to let go of the bacchat that weed was valueable medcine for me, I stop and breathe and I realise the self righteously ridiculously bizare absurdity of resisting to let go weed character self image/importance within myself as like making a hero out of weed as like being responsible for saving me.
To be continued
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