important shit

Saturday, 27 April 2013

Day 323 Sore Throat Support and Self Expression Expansion






So, I've had some what of a sore throat...like irritation within it...I mean the condition has been bearable but not preferred by any means. Slight sore throat symptoms came about tuesday when I woke up....and today friday I've experienced some sinus stuff.

A little while ago my girlfriend had a sore throat and I told her that it was related to suppression and that she should do self forgiveness on point of suppression like anything she was resisting to say where she had opportunity to say something but didn't.

Interesting that I didnt immediately see the point of my own self suppression...and attempted to ignore the point...and figured my throat would just get better pretty quickly without needing to really go into the point and examine what my body was showing me.

Tonight I was like ok, no more avoiding this sore throat point and no mildly my sinus's....I gotta write about this...so that I can clear myself.

Before beginning to write here, I decided it would be cool support to see what any destonian had already said with regards to the point of 'sore throat' so I did a little bit of research. Doing the research was very simple. I typed into google, "desteni and sore throat".  The immediate support I found was from Anu providing perspective from a Q and A that is listed on the desteni open forum, I also found a blog and vlog by Gabrielle Goodrow and I also found another forum thread on the desteni open forum where Mareln quoted some words of support from years earlier.  Below I have shareed the points of support that have assisted me with taking action within facing point of sore throat and sinus's.


Question: ANU: I have a really sore throat- can hardly talk- any perspectives?
Anu: Sore throat - much suppressions, not speaking in the moment or speaking up for yourself

Link http://forum.desteni.org/search.php?keywords=sore+throat&t=3298&sf=msgonly&sid=943cb098bb6f17f3d3f0c778d22b9c8d


GabrielleGoodrow Journey to Life Series - Day 22- Sore Throat as Physical Support for Process
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJ_Dpao00-M


Bernard, 2008 wrote:
 
‹Bernard› sneezing is when one is realizing or seeing something and the body says--see

‹Bernard› colds and fevers are corrective adjustments in Dna and the sneezing assist with it

‹Bernard› snot-is cool--snot indicate--focus and move self or get sick again soon

Bernard› sinus about the sign and designs in your life that requires direction

‹Bernard› so--use illness to move faster in your process

Bernard› or illness will move you

‹Bernard› in the fever--focus intently on the manifestation you require as support in your life and the skills you want effective

http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?t=3288


Ok, So There was a point that I was faced with Monday night that I suprressed voicing myself on out of fear. Day's earlier I had written about this point...this point is regards to speaking up about the ridiculousness of drinking alcohol...and how alcohol is not cool...and that I will no longer play along with people when they look to me for support when speaking about getting drunk and partying with alcohol as like being a cool and fun thing to do.

So, the point came up where a being told me how his plan was to get real drunk after he finished up his exams...and I just kind of shut up about saying anything  and just kinda of smiled at him and said something like right on....like I kind of encourgaged behaviour that I find to be ridiculously absurd. I even saw the point as like what I had done and realised how I had recently written about this as a point of support and I still suppressed myself.

That night I later pigged out on a bunch of junk food...like excessively so.

The next night I was faced with the same point again, ironically....what's interesting is that I played out the same pattern.

I had multiple opportunities to express the point the second night as there was more than one instance where I suppressed voicing myself.

The next night there was multiple instances where I suppressed/disregarded the point of speaking up about the ridiculousness of alcohol as like it's not really cool at all because it's chemical design is a depressant and thinking it's cool to take a depressant is like saying it's cool to be depressed...and ya...I avoided the point out of fear of conflict/confrontation/reaction of others/others taking offense to my words....consequently through the week I repeatedly offended myself by suppressing/fearing self expression.

What's also interesting is what I read today about sinus's...as "the sign and design in your life that requires direction"

I mean, like wow, I have received clear physical communication here. I suppressed my voice in several instances and as consequence I was experiencing sore throat..and it kept remaining as I avoided really investigating the nature of suprression within myself...and then I start get some sinus issues which is like hey the sore throat situation isnt just going to magically disapear without some practical self direction...I am the point of self direction as self responsibility here and therefore it is to take care of myself in ways that are best for Life....like taking care of myself in ways that I would expect others to take care of themselves within self directive applications....and I even told my girlfirend weeks earlier how to handle and deal with such a situation and then here I am delaying the point which I have told another how to handle.

What's also interesting with regards to the following point is that I noticed at the beginning of the week after writing an exam on monday and with regards to my Desteni I Process is that I need to be more dilligent with my time as I realise I have lots to do and time is precious/valuable/important in walking process of as as birthing myself as Life from the physical....as like meaning there's no time to waste fucking around/avoiding self responsibility/self direction.

Ok, so, lots of cool support here in establishing self stability and dilligence within practical living application of myself here in process as self expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist facing the point of self sxpression with regards to speaking up about the ridiculousness of alcohol when and as I realised I had suppressed myself by not saying something and I had an opportunity to in the moment face my accepted and allowed fear and transcend myself imposed limitation within one moment of self directive self responsibility.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding how disregarding one moment of self directive self responsibility spirals into a time loop of many moments accumulating to get back again to the same point to see the cycle that resulted as consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to face myself correction when I saw the point of self correction about speaking about the ridiculousness of alcohol consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear speaking about the ridiculousness of alcohol consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand how ridiculous it is for me to fear speaking about the ridiculousness of alcohol consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people generating emotions and feelings to the words I speak.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deliberately suppressing myself expression out of fear....as like not wanting conflict/confrontation to result as like being directed towards me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being attacked by others as consequence of others reacting to my words with emotions as like getting defensive about what I have said and therefore respond to me with words of offense as like directly trying to attack me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing and being uncomfortable with verbal attacks.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react defensively to verbal attacks.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that I will not feel offeneded by other peoples words when and as I do not allow myself to take other peoples words as emotional reactions, personally...as I realise words spoken as emotional reactions reflect the inner relationships of the person speaking and that how the person is speaking reflect how they regard themselves...as like treating others how you like to be treated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that within suppressing my own voice I am saying that's what I like/want others to do based on and as the principle of "treating others how you like to be treated."...like "giving how you like to receive"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the ridiculousness of withholding from myself the best givings as like the immediate applications of self forgiveness when and as I see a point that is available to be taken into further self invetigation/self intimacy through and as applying the tool of self forgiveness as the gift I give to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my voice in speaking up as a point of assistance and support to my peers/fellow brothers/sisters with regards to what I realise about alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear rocking the boat of relationships as like being the trigger that brings up emotions/feelings/thoughts within people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand myself as a point of assistance and support for others by being a trigger as teacher by hellping others within having reactions as I realise and understand how reactions are are a gift of self realisation which enables self expansion by facing ourselves.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand how cool it is to have reactions and to utilse out every reaction as a tool of support as like moment/opportunity/gift/present that we are being bestowed with within our environment as assistance and support in facing the nature of our acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to weigh myself down with suppression as like having the knowledge within myself of what I have done and not direct myself to clear myself of such information as a means of supporting myself from the release of energetic reactions within myself that are just stewing/brewing within myself as like polution within the ocean.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having suprressed the point of voicing myself with gluttony towards food as like pigging out on junk food as a way of giving myself a temprary high feel good experience to forget and further suppress the low experience within myself as the self realisation of the polution that exists within myself as thoughts/feelings/emotions that are unaccounted for.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear immediately investigating a point within myself when my physical body is giving me immediate feedback.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  for hoping that physical discomforts will just sort themselves out without any self direction/self responsibility.

I forgive msyelf fro accepting and allowing myself to neglect my physicality as consequence of waiting to really apply myself from within and as a starting point of self responsibility as accountability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to direct all points that come up within myself and therfore hoping that the point just goes aways a like me forgetting about it as like out of my mind for awhile....and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that by avoiding to take action on a point that is being present within my mind results in the undesirable consequence of repeating a timeloop pattern which results in delays of self development and postpones awesomeness within self-expression.

With regards to the self-forgiveness statement above these words, I am sharing some speccific context to a point that has come up today that I have harboured thought/feeling and emotion about and have attempted to avoid writing it out as to make the excuse that I dont see the direct connection of writing about this and my sore throat.....however the point of my sinus's is an obivious relationship connector in my writing this paragraph here....and as I have begun to write this paragraph I see how this writing here in this paragraph relates to not allowing myself to go into self suppression by not voicing myself about a point that has come to my attention because of fear of not really wanting to look into the point out of fear of what I might find.

Ok the point that has come up is with regards to electronic cigarettes. About exactly a year ago today I got an electronic cigarette. I had  wrote a blog about electtronic cigarettes around day 305 in my journey to life series....see it for further context. Within the blog I was considering whether or not I would smoke an electronic cigarette as a point of support as fun and enjoyment. Within my writing I decided to just let the point go. I decided to just let the point go because that seemed like the hardest thing for me to do...as like where there was most resistance. Anyways, recently the point has come up and I had done some resarch about nictotine and saw some points of support within nicotine that I thought would be cool to experiment with and test out. Within these considerations I exprerienced some judgement within myself as like I shouldnt do this...I should just never look at the point again. Within my earlier writing I didnt close out the point of elctronic cigarette smoking....i just let it go from my immediate attention. I recall within the blog considering that maybe it would be cool to let the point go for a year and come back to it.

The point of smoking an electronic cigarette interests me for a few reasons: I've read some scholary resarch about nictotine enhancing blood flow circulation, that it enhances focus, that it enhances endurance in athletes, and strength within athletes. I wonder if smoking the electronic cigarette sometimes can be a great point of physical assistance and support.  Im interested if I can use electronic cigarette sometimes without it being an addiction to nicotine but a point of physical support. I would like to investigate the electronic cigarette as a cool point of physical support as an alternative to smoking cigarettes that is a much cleaner way to smoke as an electronic cigartte does not procue all the chemicals that are produced from a burning cigarette and that because there's not all the chemicals that are produced from a cigarette it doesnt create the same addiction/dependency that develops in many people who smoke cigarettes. I have a bunch electronic cigarette juice and I have some batteries for operating the electronic cigarette.....I'd like to see how long these electronic cigarette supplies that I have will last. I think the electronic cigarette is a cool invention in the benefit of mankind. I'd like to investigate this point in a detailed/structured way so that I can share my detective work/research with others as a point of assistance and support. I believe this to be a cool point of investigation.

Ok, so looking at what I have just written out about the electronic cigarette, I see how I was suppressing these points within myself and defining/regarding the electronic cigarette as wrong and neglectful and also within myself I can see that I feared this being a mistake and that there would be unforseen consequence that I would regret...and that people would judge me...and within this I was projecting people to judge me as this being wrong/bad and that I was/am fucking up in my process by choosing to direct this point of investigation/detective work.

Ok, So, some self forgiveness here about the electronic cigarette and within my writing here making a decision as a self direction to investigate smoking the electronic cigarette,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being judged for choosing to investigate the electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand how I have been fucking with myself by creating forms of self suppression as self judgements as ways to manipulate myself into inaction as like avoidance of things as consequence of fearing consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear using an electronci cigarette to be a mistake and therfore thinking that I should just avoid the point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that this investigation of the electronic cigarette cant possibly be ok or a good or cool thing for me to do because I have fears about doing so as like I have regarded using an electronic cigarette as a crutch.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define using an electronic cigarette as a crutch.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define crutch as something negative and bad.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the point of crutches as being a physical practical aid in support of walking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I should not experiment with the electronic cigarette because my immediate family does not approve.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear doing a thorough investigation of the electronic cigarette becuase my immediate family see's smoking an electronic cigarette as bad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my immediate family's judgement for smoking an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I should just not smoke an electronic cigarette because I dont want to hear any shit talk come from my parents or brother's about smoking an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear conflict and confrontation as consequence of smoking an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted facing these points about smoking an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have projected blame towards the electronic cigarette as like regarding the elctronic cigarette to be 'bad' and 'evil' like as just no good purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that electronic cigarette is a means for me to cope with situations in my environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself using the electronic cigarette as a coping mechanism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that the electronic cigarette could be abused as a way to cope with self suppressions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to give myself permission to use an electronic cigarette withou constantly self judging myself as like fear of failure/making a mistake.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the risk envolved with experimenting with an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think so much negativity about the elctronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to experiment with electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to attach positive feelings to using the elctronic cigarette as like a way of replacing feelings that I let go of and relased that I had held previously within myself about tobacco cigarettes.


 When and as I see myself not speaking words of support to another being about the ridiculousness of alcohol when the opportunity is presented to me, I stop and breathe and I realise myself responsibility to speak words of assistance and support to others and I realise the compassion within speaking words of support that will act as a trigger in bringing up points of self suppression. I direct myself in speaking when such opportunities present themselves to me. I realise the courgae and honour within standing up and speaking words of support as what is best for all Life as treating others like I like to be treating and giving as I like to receive.

When and as I see myself resisting to investigate physical body symptoms as a means of self support, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to standing within the poinf of the physical body symptom and looking wihtin myself to face the point. I realise myself responsibility in facing physical symtoms within myself as a way in which I develop intimacy as into mee I see.

When and as I see resisting to say something because I fear how others might react with defense as like perceiving my words to be an attack, I stop and breathe and I realise myself responsibility and confidence within directing physical communication as assistance and support and that I am capable and able to express myself within communication and at the same time keep myself out of physical harm by realising and understanding the art of assistance and support within communication.

When and as I see myself taking a being's words personally, as like getting defensive about what the being said, I realise and understand the ridiculousness of choosing to create a polarity friction between myself and another being based on the words communicated. I realise the practicality in utilising words as living assistance and support. I use words as assitanc e and support as what is always best for Life.

When and as I see myself getting defensive about comments made to  me by my family about smoking and electronic cigarette, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculousness of taking my family members words personally, I realise the words spoken to me are not really about or for me as words spoken are as examples of and as who/what we accept and allow ourselves to exist as. I realise the assistance and support I am able to provide by listening effectively to all words spoken as how we communicate words reveals the truth of ourselves and therfore by not taking people's words personally as like being offended and defensive/fearful, I am able to stand within myself as the self directive principle of stability as establishing my starting point as equality and oneness.

When and as I see myself feeling outnumbered as like creating a justification/reasoning to not speak up because I fear that many people will have reactions, I stop and breathe...and I realise the ridiculousness of fearing reactions within people because at this point in time reactions are necessary part of proceess in assisting and supporting the facilitation of change as what is best for all Life Here. I therfore, I direct myself to express myself in such moments with specific communication as living words of support and assistance from wtihin and as the starting point of giving as I like to receive and treating others how I like to be treated.








2 comments:

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