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Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Day 305 Electronic Cigarette







I'm exploring my relationship towards electronic cigarettes. A little while ago I stopped smoking cigarettes and the point of electronic cigarettes has come to my attention and it seems I have some emotions and feeling about it, So, I've decided to make a point of investigating everything within me with regards to  my thoughts/feelings/emotions about electronic cigarettes.

Ok, so, I've had some judgement about them as like if I smoke an electronic cigarette than I am just fucking within myself because I quit smoking cigarettes and an electronic cigarette is like a substitution for smoking cigarettes.

I've rationalized within myself that smoking electronic cigarettes are ok because they do not produce all the carcinogens that tobacco cigarettes produce because of the few ingredients within an electronic cigarettes juice...and also because an electronic cigarette is a vaporizer.

I am concerned about my relationship towards nicoteine and the affects nicoteine has on  my body here. I'm not sure if having nictotein within my body is supportive for me. I think a little bit of nictoein might be supportive for the body. I've also seen some information that suggests nictoein is not supportive for the body. I ve seen some information that says of some bemefits to nictotein wtihin the body.

I think an electronic cigarette may be a supportive tool of support.

I'd like to use an electronic cigarette as supportive physical body support activity as a physical way to play with my breathing...like playing with the smoke vapor that it produces and blow smoke rings.

I was hesitant to opening up this writing investigation about smoking an electronic cigarette out of fear of consequence and the fear of what I might find out realise.

I would like to sell electronic cigarettes because I think it would be very easy to sell and market them for people who currently smoke cigarettes to make the switch.

I'm interested about electronic cigarettes because health canada is not promoting the use of them and is going out of their way to make it seem like they are illegal and bad and is evening causing problems with customs in terms of confiscating some of the electronic cigarettes that are being imported from other countries....It's like I want to defend and support electronic cigarettes because it seems like they are getting a bad wrap from health canada and the fda here in north america. To me, it's seems like this is a point of big business that can really fuck with the tobacco industry and all the money that is generated in taxes on cigarettes.

I like the idea about electronic cigarettes being reusable in the sense that I can recharge the battery for it and the smoke is good for like 8hrs. I like that the vapor produced from and electronic cigarette doesnt linger and disipates...which means that they can be smoked anywhere without any realy bother of 2nd hand vapor.

I wonder though if smoking an electronic cigarette is even a good idea if I am able to exist here without smoking an electronic cigarette.

I wonder if i should even support the use of elctronic cigarettes when they do have some disposble parts that need to be replaced over time. Also I consider the fact that most of the elctronic cigarettes to the best of my knowledge at the moment come from china and I don't know what the working conditions are like for the people manufacturing electronic cigarettes.

I think of electronic cigarettes as like a hobby/activity/treat to have within the day.

I question the point of addiction related to nicoteine as nicoteine is known to be highly addictive.

I have a bit of desire towards the elctronic cigarettes as I think of smoking as fun and cool play time with breathing. I realise I do not need to smoke an electronic cigarette to play with my breathing.

The fact that I have some desire towards electronic cigarettes, suggests to me that I should just drop the point of electronic cigarettes all together and maybe come back to the point at a much later date in time...if at all.

I have some positive feelings about electronic cigarettes.

It seems I have some resistance to just letting the point go...like I want to smoke the electronic cigarette for awhile.

I question the want to smoke the elctronic cigarette as being related to a nictotein connection to smoking cigarettes and that nicoteine apparently releases more dopamine in the brain that produces the reward sensation.

I question the electronic cigarette as like a gateway backdoor to continue smoking even though I made a commitment to quit smoking cigarettes.

I feel morally conflicted about electronic cigarettes as like judgement towards doing it at the same time wanting to rebell against my judgement and just do it.

Within my writing here, I see that it seems I should just drop the time because I have some attachment issues towards the point.

Within myself Im experiencing some backchat as like I don't want to let go of the option to smoke an electronic smoke, it's like I want to hold onto the opportunity to smoke and like the smoking image.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create conflict within myself about electronic cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist just letting the point of electronic cigarettes go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to defend the use of electronic cigarettes by being a smokes men and professing there awesomeness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have positive polarity charged energy assoications towards electronic cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to sell electronic cigarettes because I think the product sells it self and I would like to show off my enjoyment using the product.

I forgive myself for acceptng and allowing myself to connect a point of rebellion towards electronic cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to play with electronic cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for desiring to play with electronic cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that electronic cigarettes is just a back door technicality way to be able to smoke withinout buying cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be confused as to how I should judge nicoteine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that electronic cigarettes are god for people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that electronic cigarettes are good for people and that there is some resistants to words electronic cigarettes because it is an actual tool of self support.

I forgive msyelf for accepting and allowing myself to desire having an electronic cigarette as a tool of self support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to test out smoking an electronic cigarette for a week and then stopping for a week as like a trial comparison.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that if I smoke an electronic cigarette for a week straight that I won't want to stop smoking it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear a nicotein addcition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as I will be making a mistake if I make a commitment to experiment with the electronic cigarette for a 2 week period as like smoking for a week and then not smoking for a week.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about judgement from others with regards to my investigation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am just fucking with myself if I smoke the electronic cigarette and therefore I shouldnt smoke the electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reationalize within myself that smoking electronic cigarettes are ok and cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing mysef to justify that electronic cigarette smoking is ok because it's just a vaporizer and it doesnt produce the carcinogens that tobacco cigarettes prodcue.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the affects nicotein has on my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear consequence of consumimg nictoeine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that a little bit of nicoteine might be good for the body because I read about a few benefits of nictoeine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that nictoteine might be bad for the body because I read some information that suggests nicoteine is bad for the body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing msyelf to want to sell electronic cigarettes from a starting point of self interest in that I think they would be easy to sell and there's a lot of money potential in relationship to them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to sell and promote electronic cigarettes because I think they are better for people's health than smoking tobacco cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making many assumptions and oppinions about electronic cigarettes and nictoeine.

I forgive myelf for accepting and allowing myself for being hesitant about opening up this electronic cigarette investigation out of fear of what I might find and realise.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I should just trust my thoughts/feelings/emotions that I initially wrote out about electronic cigarette smoking and just not investigate the point but just disregard the subject all together.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I will prove that electronic cigarettes are indeed cool and are supportive and that I am in fact capable and able to fully immerse myself within the point of using an electronic cigarette for a week straight and then stopping for a week and making up a daily report about physical symptoms I am experiencing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think this is a bad thing for me to do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear unknown consequences as result of making a commitment to a 2 week investigation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be excited to explore this topic.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear this investigation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be uncertain if I should actually do this investigation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to do this investigation more than I don't want to do this investigation after having wrote out the possibility of maybe I should smoke an electronic cigarette daily for a week and then not do it for a week.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be leaning in favour of smoking an electronic cigarette for a week straight because I have one and I smoked it a bunch today and yesterday.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist just stopping smoking the electronic cigarette for the next week and then smoking it for a couple days and go the approach that way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a big deal about smoking or not smoking an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make out smoking an electronic cigarette as a potential support to have or not have in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself exist within the hero/saviour character construct towards smoking an electronic cigarette as like believing that I will be proving some revolutionary groundbreaking information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that my body craves nictoeine the more I indulge within nicoteine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to make belief there to be some real benefits for me to be smoking an electronic cigarette when I have already proven to myself that I am quite capable and able to support myself with physical stability in breathing as a point of support in grounding myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to play the smoking character and act the part of smoking as like look at me Im smoking and I look so cool smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss the fact that I smoked the electronic cigarette the last couple days because I had many thoughts about electronic cigarettes and I indulged wihtin my thinking and eventually acted out my thoughts and started smoking the electronic cigarette the last couple of days.

I realise I am just going to let the point of electronic cigarette smoking go...as in stop my particpation within it.

Writing here has been supportive in seeing my words as me Here.

I realise the experience within myself was towards wanting to keep the point of elctronic cigarette smoking alive.

I realise I don't need to smoke an electronic cigarette to physically support myself in being here.

I realise I was looking to make a hobby out of of smoking as like to rejuvenate my past fixations with smoking.

I realise letting go of this point all together seems like letting some weight off my shoulders as I experienced some waves off emotion come upon myself after smoking the electronic cigarette.

I realise I dont need to add a dick tie on to my life as like making electronic cigarette smoking a hobby/addiction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined smoking an electronic cigarette as cool as like cool within giving the word cool a positive energetic charge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking to make smoking an electronic cigarette a hobby/activity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define hobby as an addiction as like something that is bad from the perspective of giving lots of time to a particular indulgence that is a distraction from self responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that there exists memories within myself about smoking that I have not released through self forgiveness and as consequence of the memories being of a positive enrgy association it has pulled my thinking towards that of desiring to use an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing I need a treat for being here as like having an electronic cigarette to hoot on.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I would be more amused in being here if I had an electronic cigarette to hoot on whenever I felt like.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think the experience of myself would be more enjoyable if I am able to smoke whenever I so desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard smoking as like amplifying the experience of physical enjoyment within a moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeing being able to smoke as like a way to remain calm cool collected in myself expression here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to smoke an electronic cigarette as a way to keep me better focused.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowng myself to believe that I need nicotein as like a medicinal drug to support myself in being here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for looking within my mind for some sort of justification as like a thinking reasoning as to make believe myself into thinking that I should smoke an electronic smoke and undulgence within nicotein and make it to be a point of support in my daily living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting frustrated and irritated with my writing expose here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking like fuck this i should just delete everything Ive written and fucking smoke.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be mildly irritated and reacted as letting go of nicoteine within the moment here of my writing as like realising that no more will I indulge on the nicoteine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have had a little mini nicoteine fit as like fearing to let go of my relationship with nictoeine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing putting my words out here so that I can see my words and live my words as living words of assistance and support.

I commit myself to letting go of the point of smoking an electronic cigarette.

When and as a thought/feeling/emotion comes up within myself in relationship to smoking an electronic cigarette, I stop and breathe...I realise the ridiuclousness of perpetuating this train of thinking as I realise that choosing to follow and particpate within thoughts leads to actions of acting out thoughts/thinking and I have made a commitment here to stop particpation with smoking an electronic cigarette.

When and as I experience doubt within myself with regards to the decision I have made, I stop and breathe and realise the ridiculousness of fucking with myself in thinking thoughts of self doubt. I realise thoughts of self doubt are rooted in fear and are in fact bullshit...as like sneakyness within my mind programming as like to get me to fall back within a past programming conditioned acceptance and allowance.


I realise the ridiuclousness of perpetuating trains of thought within myself.

I realise stopping the trains of thought within myself is in fact the way of physical strength training myself here within self discipline to take the train I have stopped and dismantle it as like to get to the root origin of the fear existent within myself...as the means necessary to purify the law of my being here as equality and oneness.

11 comments:

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