important shit

Wednesday 3 April 2013

Day 300 Correcting a Polarized Relationship with Clothes







So, Today i made a YouTube video talking about what kind of clothes I would wear to a wedding that I am attending in a little over a week. I decided to make a YouTube video to just talk about the point. Afterwards I almost deleted the video because I was kinda of ashamed and a little bit embarassed about what I had been consumed with regards what clothes I will wear and specifically the relationship with the clothes. I mean I see the ridiculousness in my accepted and allowed relationship with clothes...and I see how I was looking for a conflict so to speak and the wedding being a point of clonflict for me from the perspective that there seems to be alot of preference around wearing particular types of clothes. And within this...I didn't really consider the point that maybe I've been trying to hide and suppress the nature of my relationship with clothes by just taking on the attitude that I don't give a shit what I wear as long as Im comfortable. I see actually that when I was younger I very much liked to pick out my clothes in the morning for the day...and I very much enjoyed having new clothes and spring and summer clothes and fall and winter clothes and fancy clothes and bedtime clothes and work clothes and basically all sorts of types of clothes to support me in all sorts of different specifc ways.

Oh ya, here is the YouTube video I made, kind of a brutalexposure,"Wedding Dress Etiquette"   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v v=sYMjo-t8_p0

I see also that I was making a big deal about the wedding point as a way of deflecting the points wihtin myself to be faced with regards to my relationship with clothes and how I have been disregarding my relationship with clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a big deal about what clothes I wear to the wedding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a polarized relationship with clothes as like believing that wearing sweat pants to a wedding carries a negative enrgetic charge and wearing dress pants and a dress shirt carries a positive eneregtic charge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a love/hate realtionship with formal wear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have desired to dress differently than everyone at the wedding as a means of holding onto conflict towards everyone as like me and my self interests against the world.

I forgive myself for accpeitng and allowing myself to create fashion judgements as positive and negative enrgies.

I forgive myself for accpeting and allowing myself to judge myself accprding to the clothes I am wearing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others according to the clothes they are wearing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to face the nature of my relationship with clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect the nature of my relationship with clothes.

I forgive myself for accpeting and allowing myself ot disregard the nature of my relationship with clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have cut of self enjoyment from picking out my clothes to where each day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have taken on the character person of I dont give a shit about what clothes I wear...but really I do.

I forgive myself for accpeting and allowing myself for engaging my parents and girlfriend about me wearing a tracksuit to the wedding as a means of stirring the pot and generating conflict/friction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to like being the point of resistance with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a point of resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the way I look in clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be resistant to wearing formal clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get emotional about clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project blame onto majority of humanity as society as being fashion conformist.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a big deal about fashion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take fashion very personally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from my accepted and allowed relationship with fashion as taking fashion very seriously.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being kind of embarassed that I take fashion seriously as like dressing for success and comfort/relaxation support and stability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined fashion as a femine thing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the point of fashion as consequence of judging myself for taking fashion seriously and than reacting in denial with the rebellion and I don't give a fuck attitude.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have justified the I don't give a fuck about fashion attitude from the starting point of my own personal style of dress from the perspective of fear of lossing money as consequence of being addicted and obsessed with clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing money to such an extsent that I have resisted buying myself new clothes for such a long time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have held onto conflict within myself about fashion/clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the ridiculousness of my accepted and allowed relationship with clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have suppressed my enjoyment of clothes because I have gained weight and many of clothes I have don't fit me aswell as I like.

I forgive myself for accpeting and allowing myself to have resisted buying myself some bigger clothes as consequence of being dissapointed that I have gained weight and my old clothes don't fit the same as they used to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of my old clothes that don't fit me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose my old clothes that don't fit me now out of fear that they will fit me again later on and I won't have them anymore.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be greedy in my relationship with clothes as like hoarding clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been selfish in my relationship to clothes and fashion.

I forgive myself for accpeting and allowing myself to take my clothes for granted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand how my mood has been influenced by the clothes I am wearing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have suppressed physical enjoyment from putting on clean clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have taken for granted that I have clean clothes.

I forgive myself for accpeting and allowing myself to desire fancy clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear spending my money on fancy clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spend my money on cheap clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify getting cheap clothes and the fear of lossing money by saying to myself that cheap clothes are just as good as fancy clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a conflict within myself about cheap clothes and expensive clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have resisted quality clothing as consequence of judging myself for only wearing really good quality clothing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarassed at the ridiculousness of my relationship with clothes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined myself as who and how I am by the clothes that I wear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define others as who and how they are by the clothes that they wear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating opinnions, thoughts and ideas about people based on the clothes they are wearing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being nasty as consequence of allowing an abusive relationship with clothes/fashion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make assumptions and people based on the clothes they are wearing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and udnerstand the delusions I have particpated in with regards to clothing/fashion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise andunderstand the polarized energies within myself in relationsip to clothes and fashion.

clothes is like the cloths I wear....clothes is what I use to close my body off from experiencing the cold as my clothes are close to me and clothes keep me warm and comfortable and protect my skin.

Fashion is like how we fasten ourselves together which is fascinating. fashion....

I realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing myself to exist within a polarized relationship with clothes.

I realise the ridiuclousness of making a big deal about wearing particular clothes to a wedding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a big deal about wearing fancy dress suit or a an athletic track suit to the wedding.

I realise the ridiculousness of being a fashion extremist.

I realise the ridiculousness of polarizing the word fashion with either a positive or a negative charge,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined fashion with a negative energetic charge.


When and as I see myself making a big deal about fashion...like what I should wear, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousnes of getting overwhelmed about putting clothes on.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a big deal about putting clothes on.

When and as I see myself reacting to clothes, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of taking clothes personally.

When and as I see myself desiring to wear particular clothes to instigate reaction, I stop and breathe...I realise the ridiculousness of existing within the starting point of desire.

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