Day 299 Black Sheep of the Family Part 2

So, an interesint point as like an aha realisation as wow.  In existing as the Black Sheep character within my family I noticed an interesting thing, my starting point has always been self interest with regards to my family. Like always me first, my experience. I became aware of the point of predicative programming...and realised how I am capable and able to change the nature of my own predicative programming when I step out of self interest and enable myself to regard others as equal to myself.  It's really tough..actually impossible to exist from a starting point of oneness and equality with all Life here when one's starting point is skewed in egoic self interest.  I realised how I had just kind of accepted my family to be the way they are and that's that...like this is just how things are...and that myself responsibility is to make the best of things from the perspective of just focusing on me. Within this perception that I enacted for sometime, I realised how I closed myself up and was very standoffish and keeping myself locked within a specific perception of self induced hypnosis. A total mind fuck that I perpetuated like a daily time loop....totally existing within predicative programming as opperating according to conditions of acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that accepting and allowing limitation within others as like holding onto particular beliefs/judgements is delusional and in fact enacts a form of self hypnosis that is to be avoided at all costs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise the ridiuclousness of my timelooping as consequence of being stuck within family judgements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have held  myself back within family expansion as consequence of selfishness as like a form of righteous dogmatic thinking of myself as better and morally superior.

I forgive myself for accpeting and allowing myself to have resisted breaking the bariers of predicative programming as consequence of giving up personal preferences and desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have argued for myself imposed limitations within family particpations as consequence of fearing to let go of desired self interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be stubborn with my immediate family in holding onto self righteous judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand my family memembers as like really know the depths of them as consequence of holding onto formed picture perceptions as how I believe them to be a behaviour personalities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have resisted letting go of myself defined behaviour persona's as like the self imposed predicative programming behaviour patterns that I have developped over tima as my thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise myself responsibility in breaking the veils of predicative programming as a means of enacting and enabling self expansion here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have burdened myself and all of existence as consequence of my selfish behaviour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself ot disregard Life as consequence of my selfish behaviour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a selfish individual who's starting point is rooted in greed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted directing myself out of patterened behaviours as consequence of fearing to let go of what I know and like as having preference towards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being uncomfortable in stepping out of my comfort zone as like letting go of accepted and allowed preferecnes/bias.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have not realised the ridiculousness of my behaviour patterns of arguing/conflict within myself as like really just coping with self imposed lethargy and heaviness within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have disregarded myself as consequence of disregarding others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself ot not realise and understand that my relationship with every being reflects my relationship with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been blinded by my own disregard for others emotional well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have resisted keeping myself in the shoes of my family memebers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be at war with my siblings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have rules of engagment with family members as like meaning ok, once I react soo  much to something someone says than I dont give a fuck and let loose a verbal assault.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowin myself to verbally assault my family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to terrorize my family with verbal abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to bully my family by deliberately going out of my way to mindfuck the shit out of them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mindfuck the shit out of my family from the starting point of self righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to belittle my family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself ot belittle myself wihtin my family relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been stubborn in accepting and allowing myself to remain patient within predictive programming.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself in process of self realisation as like how much time it takes for me to have which realisations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the ridiculousness of taking anything personal within personal process as the burtal self hoensty required in facing all persons persona's and letting go of all masks of deception.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been resistant and reluctant of great change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doddle within the face of great change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling like I should be more amped to rush the facilitation of great change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my patience as either a positive or a negative energetic charge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach a positive polarity charge to the word patience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been less than capable of all that I am able to be capable of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for caring about ego persona imaging within the family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have resisted equalizing myself with all my family memebers as consequence of resisting to let go of super ego self righteous authority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to assert super ego self righteous authority.

I realise the ridiculousness of being stubborn within cycles of predictive programming.

I realise the ridiculousness of my family particpations from the starting point of self interest and disregard for others.

I realise myself resposnibility in breaking the veils of predictive programming.

I realise myself responsibility in stepping out of character as the way to facilitate great change that is all ways best for everyone.

I realise I am capable and able to facilitate great change that is all ways best for Life.

I realise myself responsibility in facilitating great change within myself that is all ways best for Life.

I realise myself repsonsibility Here as an author of Living Words as a creator from and as the starting point of Oneness and Equality.

I realise my role in cleaning up the mess I've accepted and allowed myself to exist within.

When and as I see myself holding onto formed oppinions about my family members, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of creating a slef hypnosis delusion.

When and as I see myself resisting breaking the barriers of predictive programming, I stop and breathe and I break the barriers of predicitve programming in ways that are cool acts of self expansion as a realise the importance of utilizing all resources here as parts of me...parts of source as assistance and support in walking Journey to Life.

When and as I see myself in conflict with a family member, I stop and breath and I realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing conflict...I smile and let go of holding a grudge and rules of engagement as how to do combat with others as like how I can always win in verbal assaults.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a bully in always verbally assualting others if they start it first...as like justifying verbal assualt to be ok if the other being initiated it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself ot have jsutified and validated verbal assault within myself.

When and as I see myself about to verbally assault someone, I stop and breathe and I realie the inhuman abuse as like war perpetuating madness insanity it is to use words like weapons.

When and as I see myself resisting to let go of self interest when ineteracting with family and have the opportunity to share in on some family fun, I stop and breathe and I realise the opportunity for some family fun that is being presented for all Here to enjoy. I push through resistance and embrace family fun.

When and as I see myself being pressured to engage in combat as like verbal assualt as like energy games with family members, I stop and breath...I realise the ridiculousness of self inducing myself into volunteering to particpate in enerrgy games...and I realise the ridiuclousness of chooosing to particpate in energy games as like choosing self harm and abuse to others.