Ring around the rosie,
pockets full of posie,
ashes, ashes,
we all fall down.
So, I was looking at the point of communication from within the starting point of reaction as like thought/feeling/emotion....any and all reactions.....and it's a viciious circle that no one benefits from...maybe there's some temporary high's along the way...but in the end every-body is fucked...like fucked in the most brutal way as like a plague the consumes everything.
How does this relate to today?
Communication existing from within and as the starting point of reaction. it's like reaction perpetuates reaction....like feeding into each situation...as like parasite behaviour....an energteic sound transfer.
Example,
Someone talks some shit, someone hears the shit talk and reacts within a spectrum of possible ways...and speaks some shit....
It's like our communication is totally fucked as it stems from being born within a cycle of fuckedness.
Look at the emotion and feeling circle of the high being relative to the low and that without the low there is no high...so, as above so below....
I was looking at myself within these equations and how I existed within the behaviour patterned tendencies to always exist as some sort of reactionary character...whether I errupt outloud or I keep my feelings/emotions/thoughts to myself. I've always been experiencing myself within the spectrum of consequence where my starting point was to look out for myself from the perspective of survival as like me being in competition within everyone else...so my actions as consequence were never in alignmnet as what's best for everyone else.
I have been integrating the programming what's best for all Life is best for me. This contradicts my previous accepted and allowed programmed conditoned behaviour of it's all about me and that's it...having previously had no real regard for consequence...only considering consequence as a means of my own personal survival.
So, back to the point of communication here. My communication was always rooted from within the starting point of me without any real regard for you....which meant I was speaking to You for me and even though I was talking to You....it never had anything to do with You because it was always about Me....Like screw You...just desiring people to screw...like with my words...people to take them in and generate reaction in alignmnet accordance to my reactions and than say something back that causes me to say something back as like a back and forth teeter totter reaction of energy buzzing off words.
I've been communicating with my immediate family lots.....there's been lots of nastiness. Shit talk. Oppinions, put downs, cheezy compliments, bullshit rhetoric, and a little bit of calm cool collected self expression.
It's like reactions are our entertainment. Reaction sounds and looks like our action as R + e as in energetic action...but Re as after the initial action...as like in response....like responding to what was done before...Like because this was done unto me I am recipricating the action as my reaction to the action...But what was the initial action here? Because seemingly we've been within a vacume in space time cycling as Re-cycling through are actions as constant and consistant re-actions as like history repeating itself over and over again....without any real ingenuity.
Ingenuity? But there's been advancements....ya tons of self interested advancements for the benefit of an individual at the expense of the many...it's like as time progresses there's more and more of the wrong kind of ingenuity as like clever deception...as aha trickery of fool me once, shame on you but fool me twice, shame on me.
Ingenuity...engine it y....make it so....create it....creative ability....in genuine....ingenuous...In genetics You and I tied together...In gene U I ty...as real creative genius exists from the starting point that benefits both You and I.
I forgive myself for accpeting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the exstensiveness of structural re-alignment required to purify the law of my Being Here as what's always best for Life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be impatient within communication and as consequence self victimized myself as like a mental patient.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take family shit personally.
I forgive myself fot accepting and allowing myself to resist the patience required in walking through process of structural re-alignment as to purify the law of my Being Here as what is always best for and as Life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have lacked compassion and emathy in moments where I feel like I am being verbally assaulted.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that great patience is the aquired skill of remaining here as breath despite the storm of consciousness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the storm of consciousness as like the constant test of my awareness and ability to exist Here as breath as constant and consistant stability despite the energetic storm of consciousness energies.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand physicality as like beyond energy diminishment.
I realise it is easy to learn from my mistakes because I have made so many mistakes as consequence of existing here within and as consciousness without any consistent breath awareness.
I realise the learning process is filled with opportunity as moments of self expansion/progression in process of structural re-alignment because every moment here is a gift in walking process as the journey to Life and to use what is here in always as what is best for Life makes decision making process simple and easy because what is seen as the best pick is the best pick. If a mistake is made...than aha...there's a positive confirmation feedback of seeing a self realisation which enables self correction and re-alignment.
When and as I see myself experiencing conflict within myself, I stop and breathe and I realise and I am committed to the exstensive process of Journeying to Life as what is always Best for Life as structural re-alignmnet as the purification of the Law of my Being Here as Equality and Oneness.
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