Day 326 "what's with all the Facebook Posts?"

Had a brief orientation today with Boss for tree planting company I am beginning to start work with. At the end of the orientation Boss Man asked me, "what's with all the facebook posts....Is it about Equality?" I kinda grimaced and said, "that's a big question." Boss Man said he's check out some of the stuff and it seems like it's about Equality and some of the other stuff he said he doesn't know what is going on."  I told him we can talk more about this.  I don't know what specifically he understands or doesnt understand....and also I see that I've been somewhat resistant to explaining the point of Desteni to people as being part of a group who is committed to a world that is best for all Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and alloiwng myself to feel overwhelmed when asked about Journey to Life Blogs and social networking as a self directive force as a proven track record of individual progress as self commitment to walking process of self realisation Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the awesomeness within sharing the awesomeness of standing as commitment to Life Equality and Oneness as purifying the law of my Being Here as the way necessary to bring to fruition, "The Equal Money System"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get defensive within myself about talking about an Equal Money System and the Desteni I Process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep Desteni I Process and Equal Money System a secret.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having difficulty placing myself within the shoes of others and sharing myself in walking process as Journey to Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt my walking the Journey to Life process Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that I have mde communication with others difficult within some moments as consequence of accepting and allowing myself difficulty within myself as like unresolved issues.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to my Boss with fear as like being surprised and uncertain as to how to express the Awesomeness of Journey to Life Blogging, Desteni/Destonians.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing myself expression as the awesomeness of walking process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having difficulty in explaining/conveying the coolness of Desteni, Desteni I Process, Equal Money System, Journey to Life Blogging, Destonian's, and the connection to and as Self-Forgiveness as Giving like You Like to receive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the role of a World Teacher in explaining things to someone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really considering and regarding myself as taking on the role as a World teacher Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the group of Destonians as the World teachers responsibile in educating the message of Awesomeness as Equality and Oneness,..from and as the starting point of what's best for all Life,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider within myself when waking up in the morning the role of self-responsibility in being a world teacher here.

When and as I see myself getting defensive about going into self protection mode about answering questions about Equal Money System and Desteni I Process and blogging, I stop and breathe and I realise as I slow down with breathing I can direct any point Here....I driect the point by specifically answering questions presented to me...If I find something unclear within the question being presented to me...I ask a question as a way of clarifying any discrepancy.

When and as I see myself resisting to express the awesomeness of myself/desteni/Destonians/Equal Money System/Journey to Life Blogs, I stop and breathe....I realise the ridiculousness of moving to quick within my head...I look at who is reaching out to me for support....I direct myself in giving support by sharing the awesomeness of process of self realisation  as desteni/desteni i process/equal money system.journey to life blogs.

When and as I see avoiding to face confrontation, I stop and breathe,,,,I see the ridiculousness in thinking I can side step confrontation from within and as a state of conforntation as conflicted movement within myself. I laugh/smile...give direction to point that requires communication as self directive flow.

Day 325 Waking Up and Realising Daily Responsibilities

I just listened to Sunette Spies sharing on YouTube entitled "Life and Death: Day 359". Many, many cool points within and as this communication sharing of assistance and support.

A point I want to elaborate on here that came from Sunette's recent interviews, "Who and What Determines Life?" Part 1 and Part 2.

Ok, So the point I want to go into creating a practical script and do some self forgiveness on is with regards to waking up in the morning and looking at myself here in process and realising myself commitment to process as the Journey to Life and assisting and supporting with the implementation of an Equal Money System.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the practicality in looking at myself here within process when I wake up in the morning as like a way to nurture myself as a form of self-motivation as myself commitment to honour my daily responsibilities and realise the practicality in moving myself as effectively as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have neglected looking at myself here within and as process when I wake up in the morning and consider my role in facilitating the manifestation of an Equal Money System and realising it is who I am in every moment here that determines process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the practical support in looking at myself here in process and the my self commitment to walk process no matter what...so as to set myself up for the day as like going over my game plan for the day by realising the end goal as an Equal Money System. I realise who I am in each moment here contributes to process as I enable myself to stand within and as the principle starting point of Equality and Oneness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the point of take a few moments in the morning to outline my daily responsibilities that I am required to move through and allow myself the self discipline and diligence to keep my focus and move with and as steadfast as the expression of my practical living Here.

When and as I see myself neglecting to see myself and what I am doing here when I wake up in the morning, I stop and breathe and I look at myself Here within process and my role in assisting and supporting the implementation of an Equal Money System and myself commitment to birth myself as Life, from and as physicality Here. I realise myself responsibilities in moment to moment management of myself Here within and as the starting point of Equality and Oneness.  I realise I am in process of establishing Equality and Oneness always all ways within myself as I work through energetic discrepancies within myself as like sound bits of separation.

When and as I see myself experiencing myself as burdened within the morning as like a sense of heaviness as like experiencing conflict within myself, I stop and breathe, I look at myself Here within process and I realise my self responsibility in walking myself commitments and doing everything that I can to assist and support the implementation of an Equal Money System and I realise not accepting and allowing energetic friction within myself is a starting point principle of externally manifesting the Equal Money System because the Equal Money System is based on the starting point principle of Creation as Equality and Oneness....and therefore and I establish Equality and Oneness within myself....So without myself too.....as Like, So within and So without....Internal and External Self reflection.

I commit myself to making the most of my wake ups as a point of support in beginning my day of daily responsibilities.

I commit myself to enjoying waking up as looking forward to my daily self-responsibilities.

I commit myself to looking at myself Here in process and my commitment to assisting and supporting the implementation/facilitation of an Equal Money System.

Day 324 Sinus

 



"sinus, about the sign and designs in your life that requires direction............. so--use illness to move faster in your process." Bernard Poolman

My sinus's have been indicating to me that I require specific self direction within my Life.  Points that come to mind are diligence with Desteni I Process Pro, completing my Jurisprudence class, making as much money possible tree planting, making sure I am taking care of my body while tree planting.....making sure I have great food support, expressing myself through comedy as a way to plant seeds within exposing ridiculousness as a way to facilitate the implementation of a new world order as Equal Money Capitalism and then Equal Money System, also, nurturing and garnering assistance and support with Agreement Partner. Also Journey to Life blog writing and Reading Journey to Life Blogs and keeping up to date with leadership forum discussions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the specificity that is required in my living for the next several months as I will not have any spare minutes as each minute counts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been less than of utmost efficiency within my usage of time and completing tasks/obligations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that I will always have lots of self responsibilities to attend do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being hard on myself for having made many mistakes within self responsibilities listed above as points that require direction within my process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to have allowed myself for a few moments to feel victimized by my sinus condition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about how horrible it is to have uncomfortable sinus's.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect uncomfortable sinus's with all kinds of suffering in the world and thinking how this is not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking to project blame on my sinus condition outside of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have blamed sinus situation on the fact that it was about this time last year when I became aware of hydrogen peroxide therapy support and I purchased some and never used it because I was in a rush to go tree planting for several months and I figured I'd investigate it when I had more time to really research hydrogen peroxide.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to have put off using hydrogen peroxide for a full year as like only remembering and regarding it because I am facing sinus issues and I am seeing that I didn't direct this point of support that I had given to myself a year ago.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make note points of support to direct and then not direct the point of supports.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that THE BEST WAY TO DIRECT POINTS WITHIN AND AS SELF RESPONSIBILITY IS TO APPLY MYSELF IMMEDIATLEY WITHIN AND AS SELF DIRECTION IN THE MOMENT AS MOMENT TO MOMENT MANAGEMENT THAT WAY MY MOMENT TO MOMENTS ARE ACOUNTED FOR AS THAT WHICH IS ALWAYS BEST AS OPERATING AS THE BEST CONSEQUENCE AS SELF DIRECTION.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have disregarded the importance of self responsibility within reality....specifically myself as the role of taking self direction within and as self responsibility as the realisation that self direction comes from and as/through self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been in conflict with self direction as consequence of neglecting self responsibilities in favour of mind fucking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about how difficult my upcoming moments will be with regards to the amount of work/things I will be doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I will be so physically tired from all the physical labour I will be doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create negative thoughts and emotions about all the work responsibilities I have to complete.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself to victimize myself within self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that failure/giving up is not an option.

When and as I see myself whining/projecting emotions to others about my situation of so much responsibility, I realise I have chosen to take on self responsibility as self direction as the will I am and that I got this, I'm doing this. I direct myself in enjoying myself within the work that I do as I realise myself within the work that I do.

When and as I see myself making excuses as to avoid keeping up with my self responsibilities, I stop and breathe and I realise myself commitment within taking on self responsibility as my self direction here as commitment to journey to life as equality and oneness,

When and as I see myself wanting to escape self responsibilities, I stop and breathe and I realise I like  self responsibilities as within self responsibilities I develop myself expression as who and what I am here and how I stand to do what is necessary to be done in facilitating new world order as the Equal Money System.

When and as I see other people within my environment telling me not too work so hard and take a break and just hang out and have a drink, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of neglecting self responsibilities here within time and I realise myself responsibilities within utilising my time to my fullest potential.

When and as I see myself stressing myself out about all the things I am required to do in time, I stop and breathe and I realise the simplicity of one breathe at a time...and so I direct myself with one breath at a time and I move within and as points of self responsibility.

When and as I see myself thinking that this point of self responsibility is hard and I don't like it and its going to take along time and I would rather do this and that, ...I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of mind fucking within myself as like dwelling/stewing within a self induced mind fuck....I realise myself responsibility in letting go of mind fucks that would compromise self responsibility as self direction within and as keeping focus and attention to walking process with diligence and steadfast accuracy.

I commit myself to/as/within strengthening self direction.

I commit myself to/as/within self responsibility.

I commit myself to/as/within steadfast.

I commit myself to enjoy moment to moment management of self responsibilities/self direction here.

I commit myself to play with my work and work with my play as allowing self expression within and as self responsibility/self direction....as the practical living of self-enjoyment.

I commit myself to within and as Desteni I Process Pro

I commit myself to agreement Partner

I commit myself to Journey to Life Blogging...reading/writing.

I commit myself to keeping informed with leadership forum discussion.

I commit myself to making lots of money tree planting.

I commit myself to taking care of my physicality by providing myself with lots of good foods to eat.

I commit myself to comedy as a point of support for all Life Here.

Day 323 Sore Throat Support and Self Expression Expansion

So, I've had some what of a sore throat...like irritation within it...I mean the condition has been bearable but not preferred by any means. Slight sore throat symptoms came about tuesday when I woke up....and today friday I've experienced some sinus stuff.

A little while ago my girlfriend had a sore throat and I told her that it was related to suppression and that she should do self forgiveness on point of suppression like anything she was resisting to say where she had opportunity to say something but didn't.

Interesting that I didnt immediately see the point of my own self suppression...and attempted to ignore the point...and figured my throat would just get better pretty quickly without needing to really go into the point and examine what my body was showing me.

Tonight I was like ok, no more avoiding this sore throat point and no mildly my sinus's....I gotta write about this...so that I can clear myself.

Before beginning to write here, I decided it would be cool support to see what any destonian had already said with regards to the point of 'sore throat' so I did a little bit of research. Doing the research was very simple. I typed into google, "desteni and sore throat".  The immediate support I found was from Anu providing perspective from a Q and A that is listed on the desteni open forum, I also found a blog and vlog by Gabrielle Goodrow and I also found another forum thread on the desteni open forum where Mareln quoted some words of support from years earlier.  Below I have shareed the points of support that have assisted me with taking action within facing point of sore throat and sinus's.


Question: ANU: I have a really sore throat- can hardly talk- any perspectives?
Anu: Sore throat - much suppressions, not speaking in the moment or speaking up for yourself

Link http://forum.desteni.org/search.php?keywords=sore+throat&t=3298&sf=msgonly&sid=943cb098bb6f17f3d3f0c778d22b9c8d


GabrielleGoodrow Journey to Life Series - Day 22- Sore Throat as Physical Support for Process
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJ_Dpao00-M

Bernard, 2008 wrote:

 

‹Bernard› sneezing is when one is realizing or seeing something and the body says--see

‹Bernard› colds and fevers are corrective adjustments in Dna and the sneezing assist with it

‹Bernard› snot-is cool--snot indicate--focus and move self or get sick again soon

Bernard› sinus about the sign and designs in your life that requires direction

‹Bernard› so--use illness to move faster in your process

Bernard› or illness will move you

‹Bernard› in the fever--focus intently on the manifestation you require as support in your life and the skills you want effective

http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?t=3288


Ok, So There was a point that I was faced with Monday night that I suprressed voicing myself on out of fear. Day's earlier I had written about this point...this point is regards to speaking up about the ridiculousness of drinking alcohol...and how alcohol is not cool...and that I will no longer play along with people when they look to me for support when speaking about getting drunk and partying with alcohol as like being a cool and fun thing to do.

So, the point came up where a being told me how his plan was to get real drunk after he finished up his exams...and I just kind of shut up about saying anything  and just kinda of smiled at him and said something like right on....like I kind of encourgaged behaviour that I find to be ridiculously absurd. I even saw the point as like what I had done and realised how I had recently written about this as a point of support and I still suppressed myself.

That night I later pigged out on a bunch of junk food...like excessively so.

The next night I was faced with the same point again, ironically....what's interesting is that I played out the same pattern.

I had multiple opportunities to express the point the second night as there was more than one instance where I suppressed voicing myself.

The next night there was multiple instances where I suppressed/disregarded the point of speaking up about the ridiculousness of alcohol as like it's not really cool at all because it's chemical design is a depressant and thinking it's cool to take a depressant is like saying it's cool to be depressed...and ya...I avoided the point out of fear of conflict/confrontation/reaction of others/others taking offense to my words....consequently through the week I repeatedly offended myself by suppressing/fearing self expression.

What's also interesting is what I read today about sinus's...as "the sign and design in your life that requires direction"

I mean, like wow, I have received clear physical communication here. I suppressed my voice in several instances and as consequence I was experiencing sore throat..and it kept remaining as I avoided really investigating the nature of suprression within myself...and then I start get some sinus issues which is like hey the sore throat situation isnt just going to magically disapear without some practical self direction...I am the point of self direction as self responsibility here and therefore it is to take care of myself in ways that are best for Life....like taking care of myself in ways that I would expect others to take care of themselves within self directive applications....and I even told my girlfirend weeks earlier how to handle and deal with such a situation and then here I am delaying the point which I have told another how to handle.

What's also interesting with regards to the following point is that I noticed at the beginning of the week after writing an exam on monday and with regards to my Desteni I Process is that I need to be more dilligent with my time as I realise I have lots to do and time is precious/valuable/important in walking process of as as birthing myself as Life from the physical....as like meaning there's no time to waste fucking around/avoiding self responsibility/self direction.

Ok, so, lots of cool support here in establishing self stability and dilligence within practical living application of myself here in process as self expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist facing the point of self sxpression with regards to speaking up about the ridiculousness of alcohol when and as I realised I had suppressed myself by not saying something and I had an opportunity to in the moment face my accepted and allowed fear and transcend myself imposed limitation within one moment of self directive self responsibility.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding how disregarding one moment of self directive self responsibility spirals into a time loop of many moments accumulating to get back again to the same point to see the cycle that resulted as consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to face myself correction when I saw the point of self correction about speaking about the ridiculousness of alcohol consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear speaking about the ridiculousness of alcohol consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand how ridiculous it is for me to fear speaking about the ridiculousness of alcohol consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people generating emotions and feelings to the words I speak.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deliberately suppressing myself expression out of fear....as like not wanting conflict/confrontation to result as like being directed towards me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being attacked by others as consequence of others reacting to my words with emotions as like getting defensive about what I have said and therefore respond to me with words of offense as like directly trying to attack me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing and being uncomfortable with verbal attacks.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react defensively to verbal attacks.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that I will not feel offeneded by other peoples words when and as I do not allow myself to take other peoples words as emotional reactions, personally...as I realise words spoken as emotional reactions reflect the inner relationships of the person speaking and that how the person is speaking reflect how they regard themselves...as like treating others how you like to be treated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that within suppressing my own voice I am saying that's what I like/want others to do based on and as the principle of "treating others how you like to be treated."...like "giving how you like to receive"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the ridiculousness of withholding from myself the best givings as like the immediate applications of self forgiveness when and as I see a point that is available to be taken into further self invetigation/self intimacy through and as applying the tool of self forgiveness as the gift I give to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my voice in speaking up as a point of assistance and support to my peers/fellow brothers/sisters with regards to what I realise about alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear rocking the boat of relationships as like being the trigger that brings up emotions/feelings/thoughts within people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand myself as a point of assistance and support for others by being a trigger as teacher by hellping others within having reactions as I realise and understand how reactions are are a gift of self realisation which enables self expansion by facing ourselves.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand how cool it is to have reactions and to utilse out every reaction as a tool of support as like moment/opportunity/gift/present that we are being bestowed with within our environment as assistance and support in facing the nature of our acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to weigh myself down with suppression as like having the knowledge within myself of what I have done and not direct myself to clear myself of such information as a means of supporting myself from the release of energetic reactions within myself that are just stewing/brewing within myself as like polution within the ocean.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having suprressed the point of voicing myself with gluttony towards food as like pigging out on junk food as a way of giving myself a temprary high feel good experience to forget and further suppress the low experience within myself as the self realisation of the polution that exists within myself as thoughts/feelings/emotions that are unaccounted for.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear immediately investigating a point within myself when my physical body is giving me immediate feedback.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  for hoping that physical discomforts will just sort themselves out without any self direction/self responsibility.

I forgive msyelf fro accepting and allowing myself to neglect my physicality as consequence of waiting to really apply myself from within and as a starting point of self responsibility as accountability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to direct all points that come up within myself and therfore hoping that the point just goes aways a like me forgetting about it as like out of my mind for awhile....and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that by avoiding to take action on a point that is being present within my mind results in the undesirable consequence of repeating a timeloop pattern which results in delays of self development and postpones awesomeness within self-expression.

With regards to the self-forgiveness statement above these words, I am sharing some speccific context to a point that has come up today that I have harboured thought/feeling and emotion about and have attempted to avoid writing it out as to make the excuse that I dont see the direct connection of writing about this and my sore throat.....however the point of my sinus's is an obivious relationship connector in my writing this paragraph here....and as I have begun to write this paragraph I see how this writing here in this paragraph relates to not allowing myself to go into self suppression by not voicing myself about a point that has come to my attention because of fear of not really wanting to look into the point out of fear of what I might find.

Ok the point that has come up is with regards to electronic cigarettes. About exactly a year ago today I got an electronic cigarette. I had  wrote a blog about electtronic cigarettes around day 305 in my journey to life series....see it for further context. Within the blog I was considering whether or not I would smoke an electronic cigarette as a point of support as fun and enjoyment. Within my writing I decided to just let the point go. I decided to just let the point go because that seemed like the hardest thing for me to do...as like where there was most resistance. Anyways, recently the point has come up and I had done some resarch about nictotine and saw some points of support within nicotine that I thought would be cool to experiment with and test out. Within these considerations I exprerienced some judgement within myself as like I shouldnt do this...I should just never look at the point again. Within my earlier writing I didnt close out the point of elctronic cigarette smoking....i just let it go from my immediate attention. I recall within the blog considering that maybe it would be cool to let the point go for a year and come back to it.

The point of smoking an electronic cigarette interests me for a few reasons: I've read some scholary resarch about nictotine enhancing blood flow circulation, that it enhances focus, that it enhances endurance in athletes, and strength within athletes. I wonder if smoking the electronic cigarette sometimes can be a great point of physical assistance and support.  Im interested if I can use electronic cigarette sometimes without it being an addiction to nicotine but a point of physical support. I would like to investigate the electronic cigarette as a cool point of physical support as an alternative to smoking cigarettes that is a much cleaner way to smoke as an electronic cigartte does not procue all the chemicals that are produced from a burning cigarette and that because there's not all the chemicals that are produced from a cigarette it doesnt create the same addiction/dependency that develops in many people who smoke cigarettes. I have a bunch electronic cigarette juice and I have some batteries for operating the electronic cigarette.....I'd like to see how long these electronic cigarette supplies that I have will last. I think the electronic cigarette is a cool invention in the benefit of mankind. I'd like to investigate this point in a detailed/structured way so that I can share my detective work/research with others as a point of assistance and support. I believe this to be a cool point of investigation.

Ok, so looking at what I have just written out about the electronic cigarette, I see how I was suppressing these points within myself and defining/regarding the electronic cigarette as wrong and neglectful and also within myself I can see that I feared this being a mistake and that there would be unforseen consequence that I would regret...and that people would judge me...and within this I was projecting people to judge me as this being wrong/bad and that I was/am fucking up in my process by choosing to direct this point of investigation/detective work.

Ok, So, some self forgiveness here about the electronic cigarette and within my writing here making a decision as a self direction to investigate smoking the electronic cigarette,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being judged for choosing to investigate the electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand how I have been fucking with myself by creating forms of self suppression as self judgements as ways to manipulate myself into inaction as like avoidance of things as consequence of fearing consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear using an electronci cigarette to be a mistake and therfore thinking that I should just avoid the point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that this investigation of the electronic cigarette cant possibly be ok or a good or cool thing for me to do because I have fears about doing so as like I have regarded using an electronic cigarette as a crutch.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define using an electronic cigarette as a crutch.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define crutch as something negative and bad.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the point of crutches as being a physical practical aid in support of walking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I should not experiment with the electronic cigarette because my immediate family does not approve.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear doing a thorough investigation of the electronic cigarette becuase my immediate family see's smoking an electronic cigarette as bad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my immediate family's judgement for smoking an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I should just not smoke an electronic cigarette because I dont want to hear any shit talk come from my parents or brother's about smoking an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear conflict and confrontation as consequence of smoking an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted facing these points about smoking an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have projected blame towards the electronic cigarette as like regarding the elctronic cigarette to be 'bad' and 'evil' like as just no good purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that electronic cigarette is a means for me to cope with situations in my environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself using the electronic cigarette as a coping mechanism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that the electronic cigarette could be abused as a way to cope with self suppressions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to give myself permission to use an electronic cigarette withou constantly self judging myself as like fear of failure/making a mistake.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the risk envolved with experimenting with an electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think so much negativity about the elctronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to experiment with electronic cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to attach positive feelings to using the elctronic cigarette as like a way of replacing feelings that I let go of and relased that I had held previously within myself about tobacco cigarettes.


 When and as I see myself not speaking words of support to another being about the ridiculousness of alcohol when the opportunity is presented to me, I stop and breathe and I realise myself responsibility to speak words of assistance and support to others and I realise the compassion within speaking words of support that will act as a trigger in bringing up points of self suppression. I direct myself in speaking when such opportunities present themselves to me. I realise the courgae and honour within standing up and speaking words of support as what is best for all Life as treating others like I like to be treating and giving as I like to receive.

When and as I see myself resisting to investigate physical body symptoms as a means of self support, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to standing within the poinf of the physical body symptom and looking wihtin myself to face the point. I realise myself responsibility in facing physical symtoms within myself as a way in which I develop intimacy as into mee I see.

When and as I see resisting to say something because I fear how others might react with defense as like perceiving my words to be an attack, I stop and breathe and I realise myself responsibility and confidence within directing physical communication as assistance and support and that I am capable and able to express myself within communication and at the same time keep myself out of physical harm by realising and understanding the art of assistance and support within communication.

When and as I see myself taking a being's words personally, as like getting defensive about what the being said, I realise and understand the ridiculousness of choosing to create a polarity friction between myself and another being based on the words communicated. I realise the practicality in utilising words as living assistance and support. I use words as assitanc e and support as what is always best for Life.

When and as I see myself getting defensive about comments made to  me by my family about smoking and electronic cigarette, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculousness of taking my family members words personally, I realise the words spoken to me are not really about or for me as words spoken are as examples of and as who/what we accept and allow ourselves to exist as. I realise the assistance and support I am able to provide by listening effectively to all words spoken as how we communicate words reveals the truth of ourselves and therfore by not taking people's words personally as like being offended and defensive/fearful, I am able to stand within myself as the self directive principle of stability as establishing my starting point as equality and oneness.

When and as I see myself feeling outnumbered as like creating a justification/reasoning to not speak up because I fear that many people will have reactions, I stop and breathe...and I realise the ridiculousness of fearing reactions within people because at this point in time reactions are necessary part of proceess in assisting and supporting the facilitation of change as what is best for all Life Here. I therfore, I direct myself to express myself in such moments with specific communication as living words of support and assistance from wtihin and as the starting point of giving as I like to receive and treating others how I like to be treated.

Day 322 The Borgias

I just started watching the series, "The Borgias" and I noticed I had a big reaction within me when it looked like the assassin was going to be killed. I was like, 'what the fuck, he can't die already...he's a righteous killer.' I mean it's kind of ridiculous to justify killing any human being deliberately. Yet here I am within watching this show, seeing the assassin kill all sorts of innocent people...well not totally innocent actually...I mean there was reasoning's for all the killing's...though it's like I justified all the assassin's killings because he was in service to the pope...well working for the pope's son specifically. And the dude who tried to kill the assassin in the episode I watched was just acting in service of his masters...so I mean with the logic I applied earlier...the dude who tried to kill the assassin was justified within a form or righteous logic based on survival and honouring allegiances to where the money comes from.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the ridiculousness of make believing logical reasons as justifications as why it is ok for particular characters to act out righteous vengengance killings as being necessary means to an end.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pick favourites within tv series and movies as like the good guys versus the bad guys and that I am rooting for the good guys to kill the bad guys or the bad guys who are portrayed as being kind hearted to kill the good guys that are not portrayed as kind hearted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within watching shows/movies where there is killing only when I dont think that particular character should die based on my superior rating of that character as being like a righteous super hero character that is justified in all it's brutal particpations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and see and understand a connection within myself to my relationships with characters I watch in tv and movies as like reflecting the accepted and allowed natures within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be righteous within my nature and regard myself as justified in whatever my actions are as like a necessary means for my surviving here as like whatever the costs I will survive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate conflict within myself by taking sides as like choosing to create opposition amonst characters I view within shows and movies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the limmiting notion of making preferences towards certain characters within programs based on the energetic acceptances and allowances that exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understant the education within watching shows and movies as like a means of self support in investigating any reactions that exist within me while watching the programming,...so that I am able to face the nature of the relationships that exist within myself and self-correct misalignments with the application of self forgiveness and self corrective statements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take character within shows and movies personally as like to identify with them according to the acceptances and allowances that exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge people in real life based upon the ways in which I identify/relate to them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that the characters that I do not see myself identifying with are the characters I should investigate the most because it is the characters that I disregard as being nothing like are the ones that hold the support in self reflection in seeing that which I have attempted to hide and disregard as like not really existing within and as because of suppressions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enjoy cleverness within the borgias as like cunning manipulation as like outwitting people who are trying to fuck with particular characters.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand how within and as my life I have been clever and manipulative as a means of outwitting and fucking with particular people for my personal interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel righteously justified in fucking with people that have agitated me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that anyone who provokes a point of agitation within myself is in fact assisting and supporting me to see a point of self reflection that I am attempting to disregard. I realise the point of always bring the point/reaction back to myself as see how I have in fact existed within and as the point. I therfore take self responsibility in releasing myself from a point of fuckedness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regeard characters as justified in sleeping around...as like there just getting what they desire as sex and sex is a naturally thing and therfore it's justified as being necessary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard sex as a necessary desire that must be fulfilled.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that having sex with whoever is no big deal and it's a necessary human instinct.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having mixed feelings about sexual promiscity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have teeter tottered within belierfs about sexual promiscuity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that sexual promiscuity is cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that sexual promiscuity is fucked.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have regarded myself as being cool for having been sexually promiscuous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have shifted my tone about sexually promiscuity and for judging others for being sexually promiscuous without regarding or realising myself within the equation of having been sexually promiscuos. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret having been sexually promiscuos. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having regarded sexually promiscuity as like a marker of success and achievement/accomplishment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the apparent success of sexual promiscuity is like a sales game as like I was selling myself to women for a night based on being desired by them and me desiring them...as like a mcdonalds style fast food convenience as like no strings attached...no real laboured communication relationships that took time to be developed...just instant gratifation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining instand gratification as 'bad'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard consequences as a result of going for moments of instant gratification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing msyelf to disregard my well being for moments of lust as like instant gratification attainment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dislike not having instant gratification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that constant satisfaction isnt a series of instant gratifications as like quick ups and downs...but is a constant and consistant stable balance here as equality and oneness. I realise that within and as the constant and stable balance of equality and oneness there isnt any restrictions in self expression and self satisfaction as like each breath becomes a moment of life and death and therefore really encompases living to the fullest as like birthing self expression in every moment as a creator's self responsibility as what is always best.

When and as I see myself reacting to the 'good characters' being killed, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing righteous preferences within myself in defining some characters as more deserving to live than other characters.

When and as I see myself reacting to moments of righteous vengeace, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of holding onto righteous vengeance within myself and I take a moment to release let go of accepted and allowed righteous vengeance within myself by pushing myself to go into self forgiveness and self corrective statements on the point.

When and as I see myself reacting to sexual promiscuity, I stop and breathe and I realise any reaction I have to sexual promiscuity exposes a point of self reflection within myself. I direct myself in investigating the point of friction towards sexual promiscuity within myself.

When and as I see myself regarding some characters to be righteously superio based on how I identify with them, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculous absurdity of perpetuating righteous superiority within and as my thinking/outlook perception. I take a moment to laugh/smile/giggle at the ridiculous absurdity of righteous superiority.

Day 321 Body Weight Gain

Body weight can be a funny thing. Well specifically my relationship with regards to weight and specificially stomach fat/belly.  Since I was a boy I thought it would be cool to have a six pack, I nerver worked to hard at it though. I would start out with some situps and other core strength training exercises and I would get tired...and feel like this is work....and would soon after just lie around on the floor and resist moving myself to do the work as like commitming to the work out plan to develop my core muscles as to transfrom my abdominal muscles into a 6 pack as like the clear muscle indentations aloing the stomache cournting , 1,2,3,4,5,6...6 pack.

As years went forward, i still thought this would be nice...and a few times here and there I would start working out my core muscles...but I would never stick withi it....there was always such resistance within myself. It's like there was a time when I would go to the gym to work out and I would gladly work our my whole body But neglect stomach/core focus...as I would justify it by saying things like the core is connected to other muscles and so like when I work out my legs I am indirectly working out my core and that's good enough.

I've gone through phases were I would make a point about doing lots of pushups every day and I would get competive with myself about it...but I would neglect the situps.

Today I was considering some physical laws: the law of that which you resist will persist. And, the law of attraction as like what you embrace you attract.

Within considerations of these laws it's easy to see how I have limmitted myself from really pushing myself to move through self contained restraint based on the accepted and allowed laws of my physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understannd how I have restricted myself from working out my core muscles as consequence of the law of that which I resist will persist and the law of attraction as like that which I embrace, I take on and become.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise the mind fuck within weight gain as ressiting the weight gain and so the weight gain persists and embracing the weight gain as like so the weight gain remains as like attracting myself here as that weight gain....as me being this weight here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that my body will just sort itself  out within and as balanced perfection without me really having to do anything.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect care and support for my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist doing specific core exercies as labored body support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to move myself to become the physical body transformations I wish to see.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking of myself as better than people who take charge of their body and tranform their body through physical laboured exercises.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define people who sculpt their body to their desired perfection through specific and meticulous physical exercised labour and diet are insecure because there going through all the effort to change themselves.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand myself within and as moment of insecurity as as like self consciousness about my body...and allowing myself to remain a victim to myself as consequence of resisting to doing anything for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have placed lots of importance on physical fitness and personal health with regards to diet and peace of mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the conflict I created within myself towards physical fitness and personal health as like creating acts of rebellion within myself where I negelct my physical well being as consequence of allowing my mind consciousness to take charge and direct me within my physical through various energetic charges indicating how I will act as what particular character I will be and portray.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist moving myself for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my movement according to energy buzz.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be pushed and pulled according to enrgy buzz I am expereincing within and as mind conscious system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be lazy with regards to making an effort to take care of my body with good diet and good amounts of physical exercise.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be extreme with my particpations in diet and exercise as like doing sooo much exercise and eating really well or like doing no exercise and eating like shit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing polarized realtionships within myself with regards to exercise as like what I define as lots of exercise and what I define as like no exercise. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to polarize my relations with food nutrition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to binge eat sometimes as like an act of rebellion within myself as like just wanting to stuff my face and pig out and worry about consequences later.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about doing physical exercise later as like, not right now, Ill get to that later.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make excuses/reasons/justifications for not making a real effort to establishing daily practical living physical exercises of support as like a love of labour to assist and support the nourishment of naturing my well being here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist physical laboured exercise because I have to breathe one breath at a time and physically move myself without an energy buzz and my movement is entirely determind on my will power as my resolve.

I forgige myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire pushes and pulls of energy while working out as like a short cut for me to get around the laboured processes required to do the work as like the time required to put in to getting the necessary results.

I realise I am always facing consequenc as cause and effect and that I capable and able of learning from my consequences so that I know how to regulate my consequences as to what is always best consequences. I realise it as a process in establishing constant consistancy at always becoming best consequences Here.

I realise I am committed to learning from all consequences that are less than what is best consequence Here so that I can become always the best consequence Here.

I realise how the law of resitance works in accordance with the law of attraction.

I realise how I am capable and able to move myself beyond limititations of energy buzzes.

I realise the self restraints within physical movement as laboured self expression as consequence of only moving within and as energy buzzes.

I realise self expression as phyical laboured movement as willed self direction.

I realise the effort and focus and alertness required within and as physical laboured movement as self willed direction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist finely tuning my body to perfection in all ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept and emrbace my body as less than perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for weighting to accept my body with care and love as unconditional nourisment as structured sound support.

I realise the importance of structured sound support as a means of physical nourisment here.

I realise myself responsibility in making the effort and sticking to the will in making an effort to always do my best work.

When and as I see myself resisting physical exercise because of a heavy energy buzz within myself as like overwheming tiredness as like a form of resistance weighing on me, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing myself to be weighted down with self imposed restrainst as consequence of not releasing myself from being held under restraints. I direct myself to remove myself from energetic restraints and move myself through points of physical exercised labour as making the effort to do my best work.

When and as I see myself desiring to follow impulses as like binge eating things that will encourage me going into consequences of energetic restraint, I stop and breathe and I realise myself responsibility in committing myself to giving myself the best nourishment.

I commit myself to fine tuning myself as equality and oneness.

I commit myself to establishing best food support for physical body nourishment.

I commit myself integrating daily physical exercises to assist and support physical stability and longevity.

I commit myself to loving myself as within and as all physical participations as like a love of labour.

I commit myself to becoming the epitome of self perfection in all ways.

I commit myself to utilising the processess of self forgiveness and self corrective statments and self commitment statements as structured sound support as the living words recipe as the solution to Life birthed from the physical Here.

Day 320 Weed Chracter Self Correction p4

Reactions of Emotions/Feelings Dimension:
When and as I see myself defining weed within memories as feeling really positive and happy about smoking weed, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of reacting to memories with feelings or emotions as like holding and energy buzz within myself from the starting point of friction. I direct myself in discharging all energetic frictions within myself by making note of and as any polarized energies within myself as either positive or negative charge...and I investigate further to get to the roots of charges against myself. lol...I smile/gigle/laugh/joke as a moment of seeing the ridiculousness/funny here as part of walking process here.

When and as I see myself reacting to someone being really excited and or happy in realtion to weed smoking, I stop and breathe and I realise a reaction here indicates me not recognising a point within myself as having acted out the weed character in this particular way. I direct myself in releasing energetic friction within myself, I share the funny/ridiculousness of my past relationship with weed as a quick sharing of words of support without getting preachy and self righteous about weed. I LOL.
When and as I see myself reacting to people smoking weed, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculousness of taking people's doings personally. I see the funny ridiculous nature of reacting easily to people in my environment and I realise every reaction is an opportunity for a moment of clarity as gift giving here as opening up present of self realisation.
When and as I see myself getting into emotions and feelings about weed as like low energies or high energies, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of mind fucking within the polarity spectrum of high's and lows and I realise I do not miss deliberatley mind fucking within the high's and lows of ups and downs as mind fucking.

When and as I see myself reacting to being around weed or sharing stories/realisations about weed as like getting worried and scared, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of fearing crucifixion for exposing past relations with weed or someone getting in trouble for weed possession.

When and as I see myself reacting to someone feeling really satisifed with themselves after smoking weed, I stop and brethe and I realise there is a gift/opportunity here as a point of self realisation/correction in seeing a point that had been suppressed within myself. I realise the nastyness of jealousy and spite and I realise the ridiculousness of holding onto emotional regret as like self condemnation. I make note of any energetic movement within myself and I investigate further to release and discharge friction from within myself.


When and as I see myself craving the experience of getting high, I stop and breathe and I realise the support in checking myself with breath before I wreck myself within mind fucking. I realise I am faced with a point of transcendence here as to not be directed by my mind into temptation as like to escape my accepted and allowed emotional shit and get high. I make a point of investigating myself to see why it is I crave a high experience. I walk self-forgiveness and slef correction in real time as practical living moment to moment management here.

When and as I see myself reacting to people smoking weed as superior/inferior, I stop and breathe and i realise the ridiculousness of creating juxta position relations as like master/slave relations that lack real physical intimacy in sharing and expressing as practical living together here. I direct myself in changing my vision from limitation to equality and oneness as all being connected here.
When and as I see myself judging people smoking as like assessing how cool or not cool I think they are, I stop and breathe and I realise the fuckedness of creating and harbouring polarity frictioned judgements about people within myself and I realise that any polarity friction judgement I hold onto within myself is expressing the way in which I regard and accept myself to exist here. I walk process of correcting my relationship with myself here as self intimacy enhancement as in to me I see when and as I have any reaction.

When and as I see myself reacting with uncertainty to people smoking weed as like all of a sudden becoming stoned like in my expression as like being uncertain as to how I should express myself, I stop and breathe, smile as the ridiculous absurd funny in the moment as I realise the wow in mind fucking as like fucking wow, ok I get it, got it, self-forgive/self-correct breath inward and outward as new self expression here.


Behaviour Systems Dimension:


When and as I see myself projecting proclamations of positive feelings and emotions about how much I liked portraying/being a weed character, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of going into a thought/feeling/emotion energetic possesion as like an unnecessary mind fuck that can be avoided. I direct myself in noting positive feeling energetic charge connotation and I face point of friction within myself and I allow myself to have a laugh/smile in seeing/transcending a point of fear as like moving through the ridiculous absurdity and seeing the funny within and as it.


Commitment Statements:

I commit myself to utilise my insight and understanding aboout weed and my relationship within and as using weed to assist and support others with insight and understanding as words of support that will facilitate clarity as like removing the fog/haze of drug abuse.

I commit myself to not being a self righteous preacher about weed.

I commit myself to play within what I say as words of practical support for people dealing with the point of weed addiction/dependency/abuse.

I commit myself to stopping particpation within reactions I have towards people smoking weed.

I commit myself to utilising self corrective scripts of support when faced with a point with regards to weed.

I commit myself to living the changes I wish to become.

I commit myself to greatness.

I commit myself to self-expression.

I commit myself to releasing all energteic friction from within myself.

I commit myself to sharing the ridiculous absurdity of my weed relations.

I commit myself to not judging peope who are smoking weed.

I commit myself to ending any and all conflict/friction about weed.

I commit myself to self-forgiveness and self corrective statements as real tools of self-support in giving/providing myself access to the Awe-So-Me-Nest of Life Awesomeness.

Day 319 Weed Character Self Corrections part 3

Backchat Dimension:

When and as I see myself thinking that weed should be legal and grown everywhere, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of creating a rebellious attitude and relationship towards weed.  I realise I spawned the thinking that weed should be everywhere as a way to fulfill my desires for weed. I realise that I do not require weed to be fulfilled.

When and as I see myself forming perceptions and opinions in my mind about weed, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of stroking my ego as current mind consciousness systems that are still existing within myself.

When and as I see myself thinking that I am smart for smoking weed and that smart people smoke weed and that people who are more intelligent generally smoke weed compared to people who are not intelligent, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of fueling polarity friction within myself as within existing as a comparison character. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a comparison character.

When and as I see myself thinking that weed is like a sink or swim attitude and it's really just a truth serum, I stop and breathe and I realise I am in the process of disengaging mind consciousness systems that have been existing within myself and that to complete and effective with the removal of mind consciousness programming my mind consciousness programming will test me as awareness here to see where I stand within myself.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing that anyone who doesn't really like smoking weed is fearful of facing the fear within themselves, I stop and breathe and I reflect upon my backchat as words to consider applying to myself as like how I used weed as an escape as consequence of fearing to face myself.

When and as I see myself believing that anyone who doesn't really like smoking weed is fearful within themselves, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness bullshit of my backchat as creating blameprojectionss onto others as a way to keep me within mind conscious programming of self righteousness. I realise myself responsibility in not giving into skewed views/perceptions of reality. I direct myself to breathe in realising myself as being aware of my mind conscious programming. I forgive myself.

When and as I see myself thinking about smoking weed as being the key to understanding the mind, I stop and breathe and I realise that I am the key to understanding my mind. I realise the ridiculousness in projecting weed as like a saviour substance.

When and as I see myself thinking that smoking weed is the key to understanding the mind, I stop and breathe I realise myself as the key here.

When and as I see myself thinking that weed amplifies self realisations, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of making a case for the greatness of weed.

When and as I see myself thinking that I should make a dessert and put weed in it and give it to my parents without telling them, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of desiring to drug my parents. I realise the absurdity here.

When and as I see myself thinking that it would be a good idea for my mom to try smoking weed, I stop and I breathe and I realise and understand that I don't actually know that it would be a good idea for my mom to try smoking weed...and I realise the ridiculousness of projecting things I don't know to be true.

When and as I see myself placing emphasis about how great and important weed is, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness within process of releasing weed energies within myself.

When and as I see myself thinking that weed is a contributing factor to being/becoming smart, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of weed.

When and as I see myself thinking that weed is like medicine for mind/brain, I stop and breathe and I realise I don't really know the extent of the effects/affects weed has on the mind/brain.

When and as I see myself thinking that weed was like my heroin, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of pondering within backchat about past weed relations.

When and as I see myself thinking about weed as being whatever I need it to be, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of making such a big deal about weed within my backchat.

When and as I see myself regarding weed as my true love, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of my regards and I take a moment to have a smile/laugh/giggle as I realise ridiculous absurdity here.

When and as I see myself thinking that a friend in need is a friend in deed but a friend with weed is better, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculous absurdity of my past relations.

When and as I see myself believing/thinking that people who don't smoke weed aren't cool, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of judging and comparing people and I realise the ridiculous absurdity of regarding smoking weed as cool.

When and as I see myself connecting the word cool to smoking weed as like a relationship to weed is the relationship with/as cool, I stop and breathe and I realise the absurd ridiculousness of drawing such connections within myself as mind conscious programming.

When and as  I see myself holding onto beliefs/perceptions/ideas about the coolest ways to smoke weed, I stop and breathe and I realise the absurd ridiculousness of regarding  any particular way to smoke weed as cool as like that's it...that's the cool way to smoke weed.

When and as I see myself making judgement comparisons about stoners, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculous absurdity of getting stuck/lost within judgement comparisons because all is a self reflection here as mirrored reflections to assist and support standing up and facing self as the self honesty of ourselves here as who/how/why and what are we doing.

Day 318 Weed Character Self Corrections Part 2

Fear Dimension:

When and as I see myself proclaiming that I was having so much fun in the past when I was immersed within weed addiction, I stop and breathe and I realise such statements/proclamations are like acts of blame which is me being lame as like fearing to see the truth of myself having existing as being a fucking loser. I make note of any energetic charges within myself connected to the point and I was process of self forgiveness as introspection into and as self realisation in stepping out of self imposed limitations.

When and as I see myself resisting to to tell someone that I was being a fucking loser for having been such a stoner, I stop and breathe and I realise the point of resistance as fear to be faced and walked through. I direct myself to move through point of hesitance within myself and speak words of support.

When and as I see myself fearing to expose the fuckedness of being a weed addict, I stop and breathe and realise the ridiculousness of fearing confrontation from being's within the wrath of weed addiction. I realise there's an art to communicating as assistance and support in the sense that I am expressing myself from a starting point of self trust standing as what's best for all life and its not based. on any polarity equation of shame/regret or self-righteousness


Backchat Dimension:
When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to participate within backchat as "I''ll just  smoke this last little bit I have in this bag and then I'll quit weed for good", I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiuclousness of self compromise as back chat consequence that is not necessary for me to particpate within as I know where that leads. I not the point and furthe my application of self-forgiveness by seeing if there is anywhere within the point where I can be more specifc.

When and as I see myself having backchat about smoking weed, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of choosing to particpate within such backchat. I realise myself resposnisbility in letting go of the backchat.

When and as I see myself backchatting about positive attributes of weed as like how weed helped me and made me a better person, I stop and breathe and I realise there exist a point here that requires self correction and self forgiveness as the point of not accepting myself and believing weed to be like a jesus christ saviour miracle wonder. I realise the ridiculousness of desiring to make weed out to be this miraculous thing. I realise the self suppression within my backchat. I give myself time/opportunity/gift to/in/as releasing backchat suppressions from wihtin myself.


When and as I see myself having backchat about how weed is good for people, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculous self sabotage in preaching weed as the good news man, I realise I was being a fucking loser as consequence of weed addiction.


When as as I see myself backchatting to  myself about how I am able to relate to poeple soo much better because I smoked weed, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculousness of my backchat and I realise my desire to place importance to my expression here as support I garnered from weed, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to proclaim weed as being a righteous superior cure/remedy for mankind's condtioning.

When and as I see myself desiring to proclaim weed's medicinal benefits within and as a starting point of self righteousn superiority, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculously fucked notion of proceeding in any such manner with regards to weed proclamations.


When and as I see myself not wanting to let go of the bacchat that weed was valueable medcine for me, I stop and breathe and I realise the self righteously ridiculously bizare absurdity of resisting to let go weed character self image/importance within myself as like making a hero out of weed as like being responsible for saving me.



To be continued

Day 317 Weed Character Self Corrections

Thought Dimension:
When and as I see myself projecting images within my mind as me looking cool and relaxed while smoking joints, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculousness of perpetuating these thoughts, and I realise myself responsibility in letting go of these thoughts as realising the process in discharging the accepted and allowed accumulated energy charged frictions/conflict that exist within my body as consequence of having smoked copius amounts of marijuanna.

When and as I see myself looking at a picture of myself within thought as perceiving myself as someone who is regarded as a stoner because that seems cool, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of connecting the word cool to using drugs and thinking that using drugs is the epitome of cool. I realise the aburd ridiculousness of thinking drugs as the epitome of cool.


When and as I see myself holding onto ideas as images of myself as like someone who just likes to hangout and smoke weed, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculous absurdity of such ideas and I realise that I am in the process of discharging my mind consciousness programming.


When and as I see myself looking at images of myself within my mind as sitting back and busting/cutting up some weed to mix with tobacco to put into a joint, I stop and breathe and I realise I am in the process of changing myself from consciousness to awareness and that the points of my mind consciousness will come up within my mind as part of the process in testing me as to whether or not I have cleared the energy charge addcition within myself as like part of the after shock still lingering within myself.


When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to hold onto images of myself rolling joinsts as like a way to define myself as a weed character as like ya that's me that's who and what I am, I stop and breathe and I realise the simplicity of letting the thoughts go and not particpating in them as I realise myself commitment to transcending consciousness and moving into awareness.


When and as I see myself holding onto and looking at images of myself laying back and smoking blunts, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculousness of giving my time and attention to thoughts as like picking and choosing to watch a commercial based on accepted and allowed energy charges existent within myself. I realise myself responsibility in letting go of thoughts. I use thoughts as a tool of support to show me where I can continue the application of self forgiveness within myself based on any reaction to the thought that comes up within myself. If there is no reaction to the thoughts that come up within me I just let it go and I realise I am in the process of discharing consciousness energy particpations as polarized friction/conflict within myself.

Imagination Dimension:

When and as I see myself imagining myself smoking weed in different scenarios, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of perpetuating a mind fuck within myself by creating a bubble world fantasy as like to drift of from actual physical reality within and as mental delusion. I direct myself in returning to reality by flexing my muscles in breath and realising myself responsiibility in walking process of stopping mind consciousness systems.


When and as I see myself creating future projections of myself smoking weed as like imagining myself doing it, I stop and breathe, I realise myself commitment in stopping weed addiction and I take another breath in awareness as honouring my decision to stop weed addiction.

When and as I see myself creating scenarios in my head where I am regarded as cool for smoking weed, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of mind fucking withi myself about weed.

When and as I see myself creating smoking weed fantasises within my head linked to being sexually serviced by women, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of making a big deal about weed and connecting weed to being sexually serviced by women. I take a moment to laugh/gigle/smile about the ridiculousness of the situation.



When and as I see myself imagining myself being famous as consequence of my weed smoking, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculousness of placing myself worth within weed as like being a point of superiority as like more than me. I take another breath and flex some of my muscles as a hereness body communication movement.


When and as I seem myself imagining weed growing everywhere, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculousness of obsessing about weed and desiring weed to grow everywhere. I realise myself in process of discharging energetic charges within myself. I apply self forgiveness to any reaction that comes up within myself.


When and as I see myself imagining everyone in the world smoking weed, I stop and breathe, I smile/laugh at the ridiculousness of such a particpation and I realise the ridiculousness of having desired everyone in the world to be smoking weed.


When and as I see myself imagining weed being bombed from the sky as like a smoke show and everyone getting stoned for about a week, I stop and breathe, I forgive myself for any desire that exists within me regards to this happening, I realise the ridiculousness of such imaginations and I realise my process in releasing all polarized mind conciousness energetic charges from within myself.

When and as I see myself looking at houses and regarding myself or the owners of that house enjoying to smoke weed within it, I stop and breathe I realise the ridiculousness of my imagination, and I apply self forgiveness on any energetic movement with regards to the imagination and I realise myself in the process of taking self responsibility for my mind conciosuness systems.

Fear Dimension:

When and as I see myself fearing to keep self commitment to stopping weed participation, I stop and breathe and I realise myself commitment to stopping weed particpation. I realise the ridiculousness of fearing to continue stopping weed smoking.

When and as I see myself fearing to get in trouble for having smoked weed, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of creating fear within myself for having smoked weed.

When and as I see myself justifying using weed because of the belief that it intensifies all experiences within myself as like being fuelled with fear and either I would move through the point of fear or be trapped within the point of fear, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of holding onto or projecting and justifications about using weed.

When and as I see myself thinking about experiences I felt/experienced from weed as consequence of harbouring fear within myself, I stop and breathe and I realise it is not necessary to indulge myself with weed memories as like a day dreamin nostalgia. I realise the ridiculousness of making such a big deal about weed.

When and as I see myself suppressing the understanding of dependency and addiction I created towards weed, I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of weed addiction.

Day 316 Weed Character Dimensions

Thought Dimension:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project images within my mind as me looking cool and relaxed smoking joints.

I forgive myself for accepting andf allowing myself to hold onto the idea of myself as someone who is regarded as a stoner because that seems cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto ideas as images of myself as like who I am is someone who just likes to hangout and smoke weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold ontothe idea and images of myself sitting back and busting/sutting up some weed to mix with tobacco to put into a joint.

I forgive myself fo raccepting and allowing myself to hold onto images of myself rolling joints as like a way to define myself as a weed character as like ya that's me that's who and what I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto images of myself laying back and smoking blunts.

Imagination Dimension:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine myself smoking weed in different scenarios.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating future projections of myself smoking weed as like imagining myself doing it and then trying to act it out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create scenarios within my head where I am being regarded as cool for smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create smoking wed fantasises within my head linked to being sexually serviced by women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for imagining myself being famous as consequence of my weed smoking.

I forgive myelf for accepting and allowing myself to imagine weed growing everywhere.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine everyone in the world smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine weed being bomed from the sky as like a smoke show and everyone was stoned for about a week.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look at houses and regarding myself or the the owners of that house and enjoying to smoke weed within it.

Fear Dimension:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have feared giving up smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have feared getting in trouble for smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have justified using weed as being because it intsensified all experiences within myself as like being fuelled with fear and either I would move through point of fear or be trapped within point of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the high experience I felt/experienced from weed was as consequence of harbouring fear within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that weed producing a high/altered state of being was as consequence of accepting and allowing fears to exist within myself as like all sorts of unresolved issues.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have made up self judgements as like fears about smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have feared addiction to weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have surpressed seeing and understanding the dependency and addiction I had created with and about weed.

Backchat Dimension:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have many times said to myself, "I'll just smoke this last little bit I have in this bag and then I'll quit weed for good"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with my backchat with bewilderment and amazement after getting high/smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand how following my backchat as like programmed commands resulted in me acting out programmed responses of smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memory of myself within backchat saying that, "I can relate to people so much easier now"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to holf onto and regard the backchat as valueable as weed being and having been a medicine for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that weed is good for people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that weed should be legal and grown everywhere.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am smart for smoking weed and that smart people smoke weed and that people who are more intelligent generally smoke weed compared to people who are not intelligent.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that weed is like a sink or swin attitude and it's really just a truth syrum.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that anyone who doesnt really like smoking weed is fearful of facing the fear within themselves.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that smoking weed was the key to understanding the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that weed amplifies self realisations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I should make a dessert with weed in it and give it to my parents without telling them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that it would be a good idea for my mom to try smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place so much emphasis within backchat about weed being so great and important.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to htink that weed is a contributing factor to being/becoming smart.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that weed is like medicine for your mind/brain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that weed is like heroin for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think of weed as whatever I need it to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard weed as my true love.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that a friend in need is a friend in deed but a friend with weed is better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that people who don't smoke weed arent cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect cool to smoking weed as like relationship to weed was the relationship with cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that smoking joints/blunts was way cooler than hitting a bong and that hitting a bong was like a thinkg junkies do as like just trying to get the quick fix.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that people who smoke the bong and pipes are more like crackheads because there getting the quick hit and smoking a big joiunt takes patience/time.

Reactions of Emotions/Feelings Dimension:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel really positive and happy about smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be really excited about smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reacting to smoking weed as like I shouldnt of done this.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have wrestled with emotions/feelings about weed in the process of stopping to smoke weed as like going back and forth between definitions of weed as like it's good and of a positive energy to its bad and of a negative energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get scared and worried while smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel full of joy after smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand how my realtionship with weed fueled the positive and negative reactions within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel really satisfied with myself after smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for craving to the experience of getting high.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get paranoid after smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get anxiety after smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be irrational after smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get disapointed with myself for smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get sad as consequence of smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel so cool while smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel superior while smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to people smoking weed with judgement as like let me see how cool they are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with uncertainty within myself to seeing other people smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for loving weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for hating weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a love/hate relationship with weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel unfulfilled when I dont have any weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel fulfilled when I have weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be irritated when I dont have weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be really happy when I get weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get annoyed sharing my weed with people that are just trying to mooch off my weed and are not interested in paying for it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dislike sharing my joints.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate sharing my joints.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love having a joint to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not like waiting for my turn to smoke in passing a joint around a circle.

Behaviour Systems Dimension:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to portray myself as being really interested in peoples conversation after smoking weed, even if I am not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as the weed character as like a desired and preferred beaviour system character persona.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined exsiting as the weed character as my favourite behaviour system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how habitual my weed consumption became as consequence of placing so much importance/valuse within myself exsiting as the image/persona of a weed character as like my preferred behaviour system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have tried to smoke as much weed as possible throughout my day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for constantly wanting to exist within and as the behaviour system of in the process of smoking weed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have made weed smoking a full time vocation as like smoking weed, preparing weed to be smoked, or locating more weed.