Day 266 I Don't Feel Like Writing out Process of Quitting Cigarettes for 21 days

 



I was experiencing resistance to continuing to write about process of quitting cigarettes because I felt like I've done it, it's done, I don't want to talk about cigarettes anymore.

Why?

I noticed I was holding onto some anger about stopping smoking. Like angry that I agreed to write about smoking point for 21 days to assist and support me with making change absolute. It's like being angry/frustrated about looking at myself in relationship to smoking as being tough because I'm moving through lots of self limitations and the more and more I write about the point, I see some things that I had been trying to hide from seeing....which is really totally absurd ridiculousness.

I had backchat thoughts of just cutting 21 day blog series on process of qutting smoking short...like just saying it's easy to stop and that's it...I'm done writing about the point.

I was able to see and realize that I should continue my blog series for a total of 21 days because I was having emotions and thoughts about not wanting to do this because of thoughts experiences of I don't really want/desire to continue writing about this....I don't like it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created feelings and emotions about writing my blogs within and as the process of self change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prefer writing blogs about topics of desire as like having a particular positive feeling attached to the point I'm writing about that will give me an ego boost of righteousness as like ah ya, "that's what I'm talking about...like fucking bam kazaaaaam...energy whoring complete."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not like looking at all dimensions of myself in process of letting go of a point of habbit/addiction/love as positive charged energetic relationship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to cut process of looking at positve charged energetic relationships short so that I may miss and hide a point of positive charged energy within myself...so that I can keep relationship charge of positivity alive within myself as consequence of fearing letting go of all positive charged energies within myself so that I can in fact equalize myself as Life in physical flesh.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry about making self commitment to write about process of quitting smoking and all points that surface along the way of absolute change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed with myself for not sticking to self commitments to self change...as like giving into temptation/desire to follow mind thoughts/feelings/emotions as self interest trumping what is best for Life as all as one as equals here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for a self interested positive energetic experience within myself to indulge within as like a distraction/entertainment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self sabotage absolute change by holding onto desires of self interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist going to the lowest points of my being to facilitate great change as the way to transcend self interested limitations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider the high experiences within myself as equal to the lowest lows I experience within myself and to actually face myself in self forgiveness on the highest high energetic experiences is to get to the lowest lows within myself because it is the highest highs that fuel the lowest lows as the highs are relative to the lows.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist looking at my highest highs as all positive energetic experiences as the way for myself to get out of cycles of self interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire positive energetic experiences and desire to turn negative energetic experiences into positive energetic experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard the physical consumption process of converting negative energies into positive energies for self interest indulgence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consume physicality by fucking with polarity charges as like chizzling myself apart as consequence of accepting and allowing polarity frictioned energies within myself.