Day 260 I'm Experiencing Anxiety, I want a Cigarette

This is the 4th blog in the series of 21 blogs about quitting smoking.


Today I was driving back into Canada from the Unites States. At the Boarder crossing me and my girlfriend were interrograted and our vehicle was searched meticulously by Boarder police. After finishing this ordeal I really wanted to have a cigarette. I experiencedsome nerves throughout the experience and got a few moments afterwars I was thinking of reasoning so that I could justify the temptattion to deal with the temporary anxiety I was experiencing.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have used cigarettes as a copping tool to deal with and surpress anxiety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depend on having a cigarette when experiencing moments of anxiety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about giving into temptation to feed craving for cigarette as feeling like I need a cigarette to surpess and erase experience of anxiety after interrogation experience at the boarder crossing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be so ridiculous within myself at the boarder crossing as like fearful, nervous anxiety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been a little bit angry at the boarder patrollers for searching my vehicle meticulously and intensively interrogating me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting upset with the whole issue of imaginary lines as boarder crossing seriousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have taken getting searched and interrogated at the boarder slightly personal. I realise the ridiculousness of taking things personal as like a mindfuck that is able to be avoided by not going there.

I realise that taking a few moments to breathe and let go of the urge for a cigarette as like a coping mechanism for anxiety was cool way to face accepted and allowed anxiety within myself and push through resistance and continue to let go of mind control patterning behaviour about cigarettes.

I realise I have conditioned myself to want cigarettes within certain moments and that by being patient with myself in breathing here makes being able to see the detail of whatever situation I am in, easy and clear.

When and as I see myself experiencing anxiety and craving a cigarette, I stop and breathe as I realise the ridiculousness of needing a cigarette to subdue inner experience within myself. I realise the ridiculousness and irrational experience of anxiety and therfore in moments of anxiety I direct myself to smile/laugh/giggle at the ridiculousness of anxiety.