Day 263 Undefining Defined Limitation

This is part 7 of 21 day series on sharing process of quiting smoking.

So, I noticed tonight how I had defined time while in a relationship with smoking as more satisfying than when I am not smoking as like smoking being an activity I enjoy so much...that it was like I enjoyed the experience of me more when smoking...and thus resisted quitting smoking out of fear of losing a piece of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing a part of myself as how I had defined who and how I am existing here as a personality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to not realise and understand how I defined myself within sytematic limits as conequence of not understanding the physical property affect/effect of words on my physicality here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined time is better when I am smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how speaking words as a way to verbalize emotion is like putting the feelings/emotions into physicality as like programmed in through the words...as like the ink from thinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit the expression of myself here in/as physical reality as conseqience of particpating in word judgements.

I forgive myself for accepitng and allowing myself for having been soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo negligent with my words and totally ignorant of my words as like witch's spells I was casting upon myself BUT believed to be separte from me becuase I was directing the point towards another I perceived separate from me withi blame and aself comparison.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have thought how am I going to enjoy existing here if I no longer smoke cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have connected positive feelings towards smoking as like the stimulant giving me the sensation of relaxation as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to fuck with fear.

To be continued tomorrow...........