I'm on a mini vacation with my girlfriend at the moment and I'm in a country where cigarettes are much cheaper to buy...like half price....maybe even a better deal than half price.
So, the point came up within me a few different times throughout the day as like, "I should atleast see how much cheaper cigarettes are here"...."of all the times to to choose to quit"....."should I just have one smoke"......"a cigarette would be nice".
I breathed and let go of each thought every time it came up within me. I realized that indulging in the thinking about smoking and cigarettes was a ridiculous mind fuck. Like the price of cigarettes is irrelevant for me in sticking to my commitment to quit. In not giving much attention to thoughts about smoking, I forget about the thoughts and not having a cigarette becomes no big deal.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about welching on myself commitment to quit smoking because I can buy alot of cigarettes for cheap.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consider for a moment, maybe I should just indulge while I'm here...or till untill all these cheap costing cigarettes runout that I could buy and bring back to my country.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to entertain myself with thoughts about smoking cigarettes and cigarette prices and fifferent kinds of cigarettes and cigars.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have been triggered a few times today by the smell of smoke, like reacting in an obsessive type way, as like where is that smell coming from who's smoking....snif, sniff , sniff...let me get another smell and try to see where that aroma is coming from.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be triggered by tobacco smoke.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about smoking when I smell tobacco.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous when I see or smell tobacco smoke.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to see people smoking cigarettes in public places today.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking and hoping that there was areas in the country that I am in at the moment where people are allowed to smoke inside establishments.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to be around tobacco smoke.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting tobacco smoke to comfort and relaxation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that comfort and relaxation can be separate from myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a big deal about quitting tobacco in the environment that I am in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made an extra big deal about stopping smoking in the past.
I forgive myself for not realising the mindfuck of making a big deal about quitting smoking as like holding onto feelings/emotions about smoking.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make quitting smoking a process in the sense...that i'm going through emotions/thoughts/thinking about smoking.
I realise that following through with a commitment is easy when when there has been preparation laid out as support in walking self commitment.
I realise that I enjoy honouring self commitments to myself as and on behalf of Life.
I realise I'm gifting myself the opportunity to Life by letting go of emotions and feelings about smoking.
I realise I am able and capable of taking this point of walking the mind change with smoking and apply it on other relationship points wihtin my mind.
I realise that If I understand all the dimensions of one relationship than I am capable and able to apply that one relationship understanding to all other relationships within and as the principle of oneness and equality as the same image and likeness...as the point being essentially the same difference so to speak.
I realise taking the time to write this blog series on the process of quitting smoking and how to effectively change patterned behaviour is a gift I am giving to myself.
When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself entertaining myself with thoughts/backchat about tobacco/cigarettes/smoking, I stop and breath. I smile as confirmation of realising the ridiculousness of choooooosing to particpate within a mindfuck that is like a waste of time as like just a total waste...and therefore utter absurd ridiculousness.
When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to contemplate giving into temptation, I stop and breathe. I realise the ridiculousness of giving into temptation as like pondering on whether or not to choose to go into a state of energy possession. I engage myself in my immediate environment and pull my eyes out of the back of my head as like getting my head out of my ass so to speak...and making a point of being physical as a means of preventing mental mindfucks.
When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to create mental mindfucks, I stop and breahte. I laugh, I see the funny in creating mental mind fucks, I realise the ridiculousness of indulging mental mindfucks...as like a road of regret.
I commit myself to mastering my mind through understanding all the points that come up within my mind as backchat.
I commit myself to goinginto forgiveness about all the points that comeup within my mind as backchat.
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