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Saturday, 5 October 2013

Day 472 Craving a Cigarette






This evening I was out for a walk and I was craving a cigarette.  I walked towards a store 2 different time...the second time closer to the store than I did the first time. I saw the point how earlier in the day I had thought about how smoking a cigarette would be nice...and I had recently noticed people smoking and really enjoyed the smell of the cigarettes. I had a few more thoughts about the people I saw smoking, and I had created a few projection of myself smoking a cigarette and enjoying it. I realised I was experiencing an energetic possession within my mind towards having a cigarette.  I realised and understood how I could forgive myself for holding onto this craving as like a desire for the cigarette.  I saw how I initially did not want to let go of this energy I was experiencing...like I wanted to fulfill the prophecy of this energetic possession by having a cigarette.  I breathed and made the decision to walk away from the store where I could have bought cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for entertaining an energetic possession within my mind...as like allowing myself to feel stuck within the energetic possession...as the feeling like there is no possible way to direct myself within it the experience because the feelings/craving is the feeling/craving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking fuck it, I should just have a cigarette and deal with any possible consequences by having a cigarette as a point of giving into the craving I was experiencing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for entertaining reasoning as forms of backchat reactions that came up within my mind as ways for me to justify myself in acting out giving into the temptation of having a cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing giving up on my commitment I made to myself to stop smoking cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to disappoint myself within thinking about giving into the temptation of having a cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling like I am missing out by not smoking cigarettes as a habit/treat.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for moving around within uncertainty by allowing myself to stew within the point of energetic possession about going to buy cigarettes.

I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of my actions for several minutes within pacing around, entertaining the idea of indulging within a point of craving about having a cigarette...and assessing all the reasons that were coming up in my mind as why I should have a cigarette.

I realise and understand the ridiculousness of logical manipulation as a point of justification to validate an energetic possession.

When and as I see myself experiencing and energetic possession about having a cigarette, I stop and breathe, I realise and understand that I am in the process of removing all energetic possessions from within my mind, so that nothing moves within my mind, and my mind remains as darkness...and that every point that surfaces within my mind as a point of energetic possession can in fact be utilized by me as a tool of support to see what it is I have been accepted and allowing within myself that needs to be corrected and forgiven.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to the people I saw smoking cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to the smell of cigarettes and thinking that I must have a cigarette, that I need one.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking about how Life would be so much better if I had cigarettes at my disposal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking about how I miss smoking cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting emotional about cigarettes as like a long lost love.

I commit myself to myself commitments.

I commit myself in honoring my decisions.

I commit myself to being practical in my decisions/commitments.

I commit myself letting go of cravings as energetic possessions within myself.

I commit myself to utilizing this cigarette craving experience as a point of support for me in my process as a point of showing myself how easily I am able to direct myself through a point of energetic possession within my mind as the will I am, as what's best for Life.

I commit myself to the will I am as what's best for Life.




2 comments:

  1. Are you paying more than $5 per pack of cigarettes? I buy all my cigs over at Duty Free Depot and I save over 50%.

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