Day 485 Memory Lane

So, the point kept coming up within me about having a cigarette. And for awhile, I couldn't figure out why. So I started investigating the point, asking myself questions, and I had a particular idea about smoking, as this specific energetic experience of myself while smoking, and I had defined this point as like ultimate satisfaction, and so it had been suppressed in me for a long time, this yearning for a cigarette as a feeling of this righteous satisfaction...and what's ridiculous about this is that I see that this was just created within my mind about my relationship to smoking...like that I had held onto this point within myself of this positive feeling sensation of righteous satisfaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how I created this yearning within myself as like longing for an energetic experience of righteous satisfaction within smoking a cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating the idea in my head that smoking a cigarette is a point of giving me the feeling experience of righteous satisfaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making the experience of having a cigarette more than just the experience of having a cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how one little particular energetic impression within an memory can cycle within me as an unresolved issue until I face the memory and effectively release myself from the bondage of energetic possession.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted to dig through all the memories that exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not always sourcing points of thought/reaction/feeling/emotion back to earliest memory experience within myself as a practical point of sorting out the timeline within myself so that I have an effective framework to deconstruct memories of myself within and as characters of various forms of energetic possession.

When and as I see myself facing a re-occurring thought, I stop and I breathe, I source the feeling/emotion of the thought back to the earliest memory I can recall in regards/relations to the thought, and I utilize this a point of frame working reference to walk the timeline in releasing the points of energy within myself. I realize and understand the process of unfolding the layers of energetic possessions within memories as the necessary remediation for and as the law of me being here as the point of self-responsibility within taking accountability for my acceptances and allowances that disregard the harmonious balance of oneness and equality together as a whole unisonrelationship agreement starting point of creation.

I commit myself to learning from my thoughts.

I commit myself to meticulously investigation my memories and releasing ideas as polarized energetic experiences.

I commit myself to effectively using my memory as practical assistance and self support .

Day 472 Craving a Cigarette

This evening I was out for a walk and I was craving a cigarette.  I walked towards a store 2 different time...the second time closer to the store than I did the first time. I saw the point how earlier in the day I had thought about how smoking a cigarette would be nice...and I had recently noticed people smoking and really enjoyed the smell of the cigarettes. I had a few more thoughts about the people I saw smoking, and I had created a few projection of myself smoking a cigarette and enjoying it. I realised I was experiencing an energetic possession within my mind towards having a cigarette.  I realised and understood how I could forgive myself for holding onto this craving as like a desire for the cigarette.  I saw how I initially did not want to let go of this energy I was experiencing...like I wanted to fulfill the prophecy of this energetic possession by having a cigarette.  I breathed and made the decision to walk away from the store where I could have bought cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for entertaining an energetic possession within my mind...as like allowing myself to feel stuck within the energetic possession...as the feeling like there is no possible way to direct myself within it the experience because the feelings/craving is the feeling/craving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking fuck it, I should just have a cigarette and deal with any possible consequences by having a cigarette as a point of giving into the craving I was experiencing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for entertaining reasoning as forms of backchat reactions that came up within my mind as ways for me to justify myself in acting out giving into the temptation of having a cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing giving up on my commitment I made to myself to stop smoking cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to disappoint myself within thinking about giving into the temptation of having a cigarette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling like I am missing out by not smoking cigarettes as a habit/treat.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for moving around within uncertainty by allowing myself to stew within the point of energetic possession about going to buy cigarettes.

I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of my actions for several minutes within pacing around, entertaining the idea of indulging within a point of craving about having a cigarette...and assessing all the reasons that were coming up in my mind as why I should have a cigarette.

I realise and understand the ridiculousness of logical manipulation as a point of justification to validate an energetic possession.

When and as I see myself experiencing and energetic possession about having a cigarette, I stop and breathe, I realise and understand that I am in the process of removing all energetic possessions from within my mind, so that nothing moves within my mind, and my mind remains as darkness...and that every point that surfaces within my mind as a point of energetic possession can in fact be utilized by me as a tool of support to see what it is I have been accepted and allowing within myself that needs to be corrected and forgiven.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to the people I saw smoking cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to the smell of cigarettes and thinking that I must have a cigarette, that I need one.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking about how Life would be so much better if I had cigarettes at my disposal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking about how I miss smoking cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting emotional about cigarettes as like a long lost love.

I commit myself to myself commitments.

I commit myself in honoring my decisions.

I commit myself to being practical in my decisions/commitments.

I commit myself letting go of cravings as energetic possessions within myself.

I commit myself to utilizing this cigarette craving experience as a point of support for me in my process as a point of showing myself how easily I am able to direct myself through a point of energetic possession within my mind as the will I am, as what's best for Life.

I commit myself to the will I am as what's best for Life.