Day 268 Smoking Triggers

Today was Day 11 without smoking.  I watched a movie today where there was rampant cigarette use. A few times, watching people light up a smoke triggered desire in me for a cigarette. Maybe not a full out desire but definitley a thought of, that looks nice and pleasant and that the people were lucky for being able to do so....I was a little bit jealous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuck with myself in a nasty way by being jealous of people who are smoking cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in the back of my mind have an inkling of desire within myself to smoke cigarettes because of the nice feeling memories I have associated with smoking cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be triggered by seeing people smoke cigarettes in that I have a reaction to seeing people particpating within the act of smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in jealousy to people smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish I could smoke whenever I wanted and didn't make self commitment to stop smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be totally ridiculously absidr within myself at moments like I am in conflict with myself as reaction outflow of questioning self stability as self commitment statements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have moments of anger and frustration and irritation in moving through self interest desires as like wanting to be selfish and greedy and just make sure I get my way and have what I want to have...regardless of the impact my greed and desire creates as a ripple effect within existence as a reflection of accepted and allowed behaviour within creation.

I forigve myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss all of existence within desire and greed as self interest in just wanting my way as like what I am thinking about in my mind and have strong emotions and feelings about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have not realized my mind as reactions thoughts/feelings/emotions is based on keeping alive my ego of self interest as like me me me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to identify smoking with feelings of pleasantness and niceness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel separated from the words pleasant and nice as consequence of quitting smoking.

I forgive for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the words pleasant and nice as consequence of defining pleasant and nice in relationship to smoking.

I realise accepting and allowing jealousy within myself when I see someone smoking is totally ridiculously absurd as like a mind fuck to be avoided because it is abusive to my physical well being and is the reminence of accepting and allowing a mind fuck.

I realise the words nice and pleasant are not limmited to being in a relationship with the definition of smoking.

I realise the words nice and pleasant are not limmited to feelings and emotions.

I realise when and as I experience a reaction coming up within myself as like a being triggered by someone smoking, I stop and breathe and I ignore playing out the reaction energy....and I direct myself to speak self forgiveness on the point of reaction that came up within myself.

I realise I have made a decision to quit smoking and I am sticking to my decision to quit smoking and I will not accept and allow myself to be influenced by reactional triggers as feelings/emotions/thoughts as reasoning to suggest that I should start smoking again.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself being triggered by seeing people smoking, I stop and breathe, I realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing myself to be influenced and follow through on reactional influence. I direct myself to forgive myself on point of triggered reaction that comes up within myself as a way to release polarized energy from within myself...and I allow myself a laugh/giggle/smile/chuckle/grimace as self support in seeing how I prevented an unfortunate mind fuck possession by choosing to particpate within reaction energy and playout unfortunate consequential timeloop only to come back to the same point I am at right now.