Day 274 Fear Smoking Death

16 Days without smoking.






I asked myself the question, "what's my earliest fear memory relationship connection to smoking cigarettes?"

Answer: Why would anyone smoke cigarettes if cigarettes kill you?

I see a link here to the fear of death...specifically fear of a premature death.

I just considered that smoking was defined by me with so much love because I had an initial fear association to smoking and I was acting out a kind of rebellion to my initial fear belief of smoking causing premature death.

I didn't realise and understand that I didn't forgive myself for holding onto the fear that smoking will kill me. I just covered it up with a new feeling of love....which is interesting to see that beneath the love for smoking I was rooted in fear about smoking and projected the love because that seemed cool and fun to do.

I didn't consider that my relationship with smoking was covering up inadequacy within myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that cigarettes murder people.

I forgive myself fot accepting and allowing myself to blame cigarettes as a cause of premature death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear a premature death as consequence of smoking cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear dieing as consequence of smoking cigarettes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and consider that I covered up the fear I had about smoking with love out of fear as consequence of desiring to rebell against initial root fear with love as like the ultimate battle conflict between good/evil as knowledge and information polarized energetic information coding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create polarized energetic friction conflicting energy information within myself with regards to smoking as consequence of holding onto a planted root belief that smoking is the cause of premature death and that smoking is to blame for people dieing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to refer to the word smoking as like a person as like a point of blame....as like a word that can be judged with polarized energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the ridiculounsess of my self defined relationship within and as the physical act of smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create beliefs that smoking is an act of rebellion against those who believe smoking is bad.

I forgive myself for not realising that I was rebelling against myself as I held multiple views about smoking and that I was pushing myself into conflict friction by directly engaging my views in opposition of one another as opposed to linking my views together to see the whole picture with clarity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the simplicity within common sense mathematics of adding everything up and subtracting what's bad...so all is always good....as everything is kept allll gooood.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to promote the love of smoking as something cool and fun.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to motivate myself with positive feelings of love.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stimulate positive love energy experience within myself while particpating within relationship with cigarettes/tobacco/smoking.

I realise the ridiculousness of building up love energy as a consequence of fear of death energy, the big losss.

I realise removing the root origin fear, as defined within relationships, severs polarity energy connection conflict within myself

When and as I see myself projecting self-judgement about smoking, I stop and breathe, and I laugh as I realise the ridiculousness of engaging into a mindfuck as consequence of self-judgement.