Day 283 St. Patrick's Drinking Holiday

So, Today I participated in St. Patrick's day festivities which means going to various bars where green beer and green drinks were being served and people were wearing green and maybe had a green hat on...and in general were having lots of alcohol to drink.

Initially, I had no interest to witnessing any of this activity. My girlfriend had asked me and I had initially reacted with an annoyance/anger/irritation/frustration/angst as like, "no fucking way". I recognised I had some resistance towards being around such festivities since I don't drink alcohol nor do I think drinking alcohol is cool. In fact I think it's quite lame.

I decided that I would join some people I know who had asked me to join them in their St. Patrick's day endeavour's.

Some points of realisation came about during the course of the day as a result of applying self forgiveness in facing the brutal truth of my acceptances and allowances.

I realised that the anger/irritation/frustration/annoyance/angst I had in relationship to drinking alcohol was a reflection of the self judgement I was holding against myself as forms of shame and regret and embarrassment as facing the brutal truth of the reasoning as why I would participate in drinking socially....whether it was just a few drinks or it was drinking to the point of complete intoxication.

I realised that I had been projecting anger/irritation/frustration/annoyance/sadness/disappointment towards others in relationship to drinking alcohol and 'partying' because this was the emotions I was holding on against myself as self judgmental shame and regret.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take anyone's indulgence in alcohol personally.

I realise the ridiculousness of taking self abuse personally as like holding myself hostage as a victim of self abuse as consequential strong hold of self judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have avoided facing the brutal truth of my relationship with alcohol and socialising as like the desire to belong and fit in as part of the group.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have doubted myself and not included myself as fitting in as a part of the group here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have believed it is easier for me to fit in and feel a sense of belonging as  consequence of drinking alcohol with other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in a strong bond connection through drinking alcohol with others...as like sharing experiences of indulgence together...and sharing the projections of emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse alcohol as like a raw energy drink to amplify my feelings and emotions as a means to insuring I have fun and a good time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to utilise alcohol as a social lubricant to give me courage where courage has been suppressed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that alcohol is the gateway for me to meet and establish sexual connections with women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have utilised alcohol as a stimulant...as like a way of amplifying the expression of myself that was buried within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore consequences of alcohol and alcohol abuse for temporary high of bliss as consequence of ignorance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just want to fit in as a part of the group/societal conformity as like just wanting to be normal and doing what is the popular social past time as what is accepted and allowed as being apparently cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe drinking alcohol is a cool scene.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the lameness of the drinking alcohol scene as consequence of wanting and desired to be praised by other people as cool and hip and the life of the party.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to have compromised self integrity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to supress speaking out about the stupidity of drinking alcohol and getting drunk when someone talks to me about drinking or desiring to party and get drunk.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid speaking out about the fuckedness of alcohol when given the opportunity to do so.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sympathetic for alcohol abusers and think that they don't wanna hear about how fucked alcohol is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately place myself in an environment of excessive abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project the attitude that even though I don't drink, I'm cool with others drinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having doubted my awesomeness and leadership skills and trend setting nature.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have resisted being a trend setter as the example as what's best for all Life as cool agreement relationships here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have desired to be a follower as like another conformist in society who is just going through the motions of emotions and feelings as chasing self interested desire without any real regard for self expansion and enhancing one's abilities and tapping into one's potential by reaching and stretching oneself to live out capabilities as a way in which brings about self expression, self expansion as what is best for all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have hoped for better leaders and cooler role models.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand myself as the way the example and role model as self expression within and as self trust and self honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have feared myself expression and self expansion as brutal self honesty and self trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have judged and feared self expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have doubted self expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have doubted self honesty and self trust as a means to living self expression as always awesomeness in the most awesome of ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wishing I didn't require to be an example and role model for other beings here lost within alcohol abuse as a means of societal conformity and submitting to the world system of abuse as this is just the way things are and something's just can't change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have charged alcohol as a negative or positive energetic polarity as either love or hate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing an energetic friction conflict within myself with the word alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have accepted and allowed alcohol to be an energetic reactional trigger for me as an accepted and allowed mind fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get emotional about the fact that I can't save anyone from alcohol abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to save people from alcohol abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself take anyone's alcohol abuse personally as my fault.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss each beings self responsibility in stopping self abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have suppressed my self responsibility in doubting others self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have avoided self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist and avoid self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing conflict towards self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have compromised self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire and hope to self people and consequentially dismissed self responsibility as consequence of being a nice guy and a hero.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be a hero as the perfect guy as like the biggest male ego held in the highest regard.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have thought of myself as better than other males.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my life is sacrifice and compromise because I am better than most being's here because I am so pure in my righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have desired to be well regarded as a great guy and better than most.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss my potential and capabilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to conform to my environment as a means of fearing standing out as individual self expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt my individual self expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear individual self expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my individual self expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have limited my individual self expression as consequence of self judgement and the desire to fit in and be accepted by others as cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be concerned with others acceptance of myself as consequence of doubting myself acceptance of myself love as unconditional assistance/support/self trust/self honesty.


I realise the ridiculousness of self suppressions.

I realise the vast ridiculousness I had accepted and allowed in relationship to alcohol.

I realise the chemical makeup of alcohol as a depressant and the brutal truth of those of abuse and consume alcohol.

I realise alcohol as a great tragedy lubricating abuse here.

I realise alcohol as self suppression and conformity to world system of abuse.

I realise each being here as the ability and will to save themselves.

I realise the awesomeness of self forgiveness in enhancing expression as the platform to walking self correction.

I realise self responsibility in being a trend setter here as what is best for all Life.

I realise self responsibility in being an example as what's best for all Life.

I realise self responsibility in living and sharing leadership skills.

I realise myself relationship agreement as a leaders ship in self direction as what is best for all life.

I realise the assistance and support in pushing points of resistance as a way to utilise and enhance understanding and learning of self acceptances here.

I realise the strength training as guaranteed self expansion as consequence of utilising resistance as a means of assistance and support as like the road map to Life as enlightenment.

I commit myself to standing within a leadership role within existence.

I commit myself to standing as a trend setter as what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to reaching my full potential as self expansion in all ways always.

I commit myself to self expansion as equality and oneness as the starting point of Life.

I commit myself to marketing myself as Life Awesomeness as Equality and Oneness.

I commit myself to Life simplicity as always the awe-so-me of equality and oneness.

I commit myself to individual self expression as equality and oneness as what is best for all Life here.

I commit myself to doing whatever is necessary in bringing forth a world system that supports Life in always that are our best.

I commit myself to share and be a living example of and as Life solution living process of practical application of equality and oneness as always awesomeness.

I commit myself to consistent constant awesomeness as always awe-so-me as what is all ways best.