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Friday, 8 March 2013

Day 275 Smoking Behaviour

17 days without smoking.






Through writing I have showed myself how programmed my smoking behaviour and particpations were.

Through Writing I realised I was triggered into smoking by a spectrum of emotions and feelings. I didn't realise that this all stemmed from the initial fear relationship I developed towards smoking as a child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I require a cigarette when I am experiencing anxiety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have perpetuated anxiety within myself as consequence of smoking cigarettes as a means of coping with social anxiety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want a cigarette when I'm really excited.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to engage myself within loving behaviour while having a smoke...as like triggering stimulating positive thinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed smoking behaviour as positive thinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have programmed smoking behaviour as calming down anger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program smoking behaviour within myself as desiring a cigarette when I am happy and the happier I am the more I want to smoke.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program the behaviour where I want to smoke when I am driviing or riding in a vehicle and someone else is driving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program the behaviour where I feel more relaxed when I am smoking in social situations because I believe I am more physically engaged and feel less awkward.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program in the behaviour that I am more relaxed after smoking and without smoking I am less relaxed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program smoking as the medicine I require to relax, and maintain at ease without getting too stressed or worried about anything.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program the behaviour within myself that I have a smoke when I am really worried/stressed as a timeout to think/look at situations/scenarios.

I forgive myself for accepitng and allowing myself to program the behaviour that I want/desire a cigarette after a hard day's work or sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to program the behaviour that I  am mr cool because I am smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel more cool smoking and less cool not smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have limited myself as cool defined.

I realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing myself to participate within various behaviour patterns as connected to smoking as like reasons and justifications linked to feelings/emotions as the why a desire to smoke existed.

When and as I see myself considering smoking because I remembered how I previously acted out smoking behaviours, I stop and breath and I realise the ridiculousness of following thought/memory and that points coming up in my mind with regards to smoking is like a test in checking and securing my stability and assisting and supporting myself to make sure I release all emotion/feeling connotations linked to smoking. I allow myself a laugh/smile/giggle/chuckle at the ridiculousness of the relationship I had as a smoker.

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