Day 271 Desire and Hope to Smoke

13 days without smoking.






This evening I was reacting within hope that there was some sort of reasoning that could act as a key to unlocking desire to smoke as like basically that there was some knowledge that basically required me to smoke for the good of all of existence.

I was reading a chat about desire in hope that something would be mentioned or suggested that would mean I am required to smoke as the solution here as what is best for all of existence as that me stopping smoking based upon having confessed an addiction was ridiculous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto desire in hope that there is a way for me to create a reasoning as justification to act upon desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish within the realms of hope that I could live desire as what's best for life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to build up desire within hope as like hope my desires come true.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mindfuck myself within hopes and desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how greedy it is to be focussed on fulfilling hopes and desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and consider self responsibility in moving beyond limitations of desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for associating the word desire with negative or positive energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create polarity friction within the word desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have resisted equalizing the word desire.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding desire as the these I's...eyes are,,,focused on particular points of individual self interest as fragmented personality systems as less than the whole group of Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the word desire as, "these are ours" as like desires being points of individual owenership as like forms of obsession/possession within ones mind as specific picture presentation and heavenly feeling experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to turn desire into a word that I can hold onto as a hevaenly energetic feeling experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the nastyness of the word desire as like the epitome of polarity charged separation as abuse and disregard for life as consequence that is best to be avoided by not going there.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself think and move as desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a relationship with desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I desire to smoke.

I forgive myself for accepitng and allowing myself to believe in desire to desire.

I realize ridiculousness of desire as like these I's are ours as like opaertaing within and as multiple personality disorders as like this is what I desire to be.

I realise ridiculousness of fuelling desires with hope.

I reallize the ridiculousness of connecting hope and greed to desire.

I realize chasing desire is like chasing the moon and the sun and the stars.

I realize holding onto energy about smoking obsession is ridiculousness.

when and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to go into experiences of hope as a means of fueling deisre within my mind, I stop and breathe and realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing myself to indulge and induce a mind fuck. I allow myself a laugh as like an aha moment as cathing/realising the point of ridiculous exposure here as mindfuck/timeloop prevention as consequence of not allowing and accepting myself to over indulge within act of ridiculousness.