Day 781 - Go for It - The Movement and Moment of Doing

Taking the Time Here to Recognize the Act of Making something Happen....You know, that moment of Doing, That moment where you make the decision to move yourself for yourself....you know, because you see a possible play here and you want to make it work.....So, You go for it.

Now, timing is a funny thing in the act and moment of doing...because we play/work in time and it's the fine tuning of our actions in time that assists us in seeing the results of our creations here.  See, there is so many ways for us to move ourselves and some ways are more efficient and others are less efficient...and some just are not in relation to being efficient or inefficient....they just are simply what they are and there is no competition or friction about the play and working of oneself in motion here.

I'm recognizing a correlation within myself with regards to my attitude in mind and my ability to move myself physically. Like, specifically....what I mean is the me here within and as my Beingness here as the Player who exists within and as both Body and Mind...but is also the decision maker...and word regulator.....sound technician..the story writer author of my movement/physical life here.

Writing with this regard towards physical movment, sounds kind of strange and sort of obscure....because it's like a mind fuck of sorts that comes up within me...like this conscious thinking that i've always been moving myself this whole time...this whole life of mine.....But the reality  and truth of myself is in fact a lie of sorts, because I have come to understand that me as the Being Player here hasn't always been calling the shots and making the plays for myself here....it's like I've been taking orders from myself as my mind as consciousness/ego, a lesser version of the best of myself here as my Beingness Signature and Expression in every movement and moment.

I had a my weakness come through in my mind this evening as the thoughts about how I could let slide my writing of my blog this evening.  The fact of the matter here as me from the core of my Being here, is that I really do enjoy expressing myself through writing....I enjoy the flow of connecting my sounds through the addition of words in and as the formation of sentences coming together to share the flow that exists within and as the inside of me outside as like a sort of weather and temperature thing....the waterfall that is me. Hmmm, maybe i need to play and work within this temperature thing as the water that is me....that sounding of how that came out doesnt seem quite right....but hey maybe that's because there is an inkling of an inclination to stop myself and censor myself from actually moving myself within and as my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stop myself from moving/living my potential as a result of not realizing and understanding the mechanics of  my mind consciousness programming where I talk myself out of doing/moving and continue within and as thinking within and as mind consciousness. I realize I am in the process of getting to know myself for real....because it's like to a certain extent as I aged throughout my life here...i learned to cover myself up and hide the truth of myself as like my Beingness sound signature here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being made fun of and being embarassed as a result of sounding unfamiliar and or out of tune with what is typically already known and obvious within and as basic programmed predicatable behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist stepping outside of my comfort zone from the perspective of expanding my potential and my life as my home here...as like the movement of myself here within and as how i challenge myself-development here.  I commit myself to learning.  I commit myself to making improvements within and as my work and play time here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to understand and know the truth of myself here as words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself within and as my words from and as the perspective of Ego Mind Consciousness as the real disregard for my well Being Here in and as my physical Body.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect awareness for myself within and as word and world here as my vocabulary and my physicality here...as like all is part of my self/flesh here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the amount of times I make a mistake before I got the point within myself as a complete knowing and understanding that I can share and explain the various relationship dynamics/mechanics of and as the various states of motion that one can experience within and as the mistake where one reacts within  one of the many realms of intenseness as a result and consequence of our emotional outflow....where we are in fact allowing ourselves to be self-victimized by our very own reactions of Ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear letting my ego go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not now what it is like to live always without  the thoughts of self-sabotage as the thinking my way out of doing something.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing nor understanding how the trap of my mind as ego within and as consciousnesses energy was to over think things for myself...as the specifics of talking my way out of actually doing anything....because you see...I am quite capable and able to talk my walk as i write myself here...and the fact of the matter is....that as I write...I see myself here for real...is like as I write...I can hear myself loud and clear...as like the me that has always been here...yearning to be heard as the voice that has been suppressed in favor of self-suppression as the fear ego mantra of submission in energy patterned behavior of various dimensions of polarized constructions, also know as the war between good and evil picked from the tree of knowledge.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand myself as the Tree here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pick on myself and others from and as the starting point of bullying where I cut myself down as like not allowing myself to grow and develop where I have the potential to branch out and blossom in a whole assortment of ways that are seemingly unimaginable.  I realize myself here as a tree. I realize to see myself as what I previous could not perceive myself as, is a great assistance in expanding my perspective and perception of and as my capacity for developing my very own personal self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing nor understanding the terror of self-inferiorization....as the parasitic vampire like self-inflicted condition of twisting and turning words around within the mind to reflect the feeling and or emotion of the moment...and to be so convinced that is the totality of myself ability in the moment that I don't want to even question my status update, because the fear of not being real is so real that desire and urge to be accepted by anyone other than myself is so great....because ironically, the definition of authority has been transmuted outside of self...myself here.  I commit myself to re-establishing myself here as Authority and Author of myself here as the Director of myself here,,,and I commit myself to share with others how self-direction is a matter of self-regard and the willingness to speak for real on behalf of yourself here making a stand for all life here as one and equal.

I commit myself  to stop slacking off in regard for my words here...and within this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to isolate myself into inaction as a result and consequence of fearing  the moment of moving myself within and as the practical application of myself living words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand my creative capacity for self-developing solutions that are great.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my potential here as a creative solution developer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard...and really disassociate myself with the word "Developer"

I commit myself to playing and working with the word  "Developer".

I commit myself to delving...and diving into and as the practical living of my potential within and as the word "developer"


To Be Continued

Day 475 Information F%$K YOU!

Hey, Check out the Youtube video I did "Information F%$K YOU!"

I had wrote a bit of a script...kind of a ranting and raving in relation to the point of conflict...like wanting to fight others as a result of the accepted and allowed conflict within myself.

So, below is the script/ranting and raving I wrote out about the point....and following this sharing...I'm going to go into self-forgiveness on the information...as a point of self-support.

I want to fight You…but I don’t know Why I want to fight you…but I want You to fight me back…and if you are not fighting me back…I'm going to get more reactionary…like a nuclear reactor that want’s to explode….you know like some serious terrorist activity…as I terrorize you to show you that I am being terrorized within myself….and what’s typical is blame…like being lame…by saying its because your so this….and being so convincing in being lame…that I  mean like what the fuck….being blinded by the veils of self righteousness…that I know and understand things…and knowing and understanding being possessed by a feeling/emotion/train of thought…thinking…is a dangerous kind of knowing….and so …I've come to see that what the fuck of such behaviour….and I mean…really ….I am so done…with looking for fights….why the fuck would I want to fight with anyone…I mean fighting is a point of inflicting punishment upon  another…and getting punishment pain, force inflicted upon yourself….I mean its really ridiculous how I allowed information to be a point of pain and punishment inflicted upon myself….as like OK…I can fight myself with this information…like…maybe I wont be consciously aware of it…and I just have a self righteous reaction because… all reactions are some form of self righteousness…and when I'm being  Mr self righteousness…I cant really know anything…which is like the perfect number…for fighting…because when your self righteous you cant feel/sense/be aware of anything….like perception is totally distorted….and I suggest avoiding such wackiness all together…by taking a deep breath and realising all reactions…are nuclear…like radiating terror within are self….that is a threat and compromise to our life and the lives of others…..no wonder…in the news….the big topic of  terrorism...and the war on terror…..we humans are our own terrorists…at least I was…and I didn't even know that the extent of my education was harboring me as a terrorist waiting to exploded….picking and choosing random event to totally blow up on….energy storms…brewed like volcanoes within the human body….sorry body for all the abuse….it;s time I quieted and settled the storm….

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to Fight You.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that You is Me within wanting to Fight You.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding myself as a nuclear reactor just waiting to explode every time I have a reaction and I passively accept and allow it to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the consequences of passively accepting and allowing reactions within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to take action as self direction on points of reaction within myself as like giving myself the gift of forgiveness and looking at the absurd ridiculousness on the point of reaction...and realise and understand that if I can't see the absurd ridiculousness on the point of reaction...its because I'm caught within a point of self righteousness that is blinding me from seeing my own absurdity that is overwhelming in ridiculousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for pointing the fingers of blame upon others as like a coping mechanism of neglecting to really care and take responsibility and accountability for myself. I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of such behaviour and I realise and understand how lame blame is as I realise and understand that blame is the epitome of lame.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the danger of passively doing nothing after I have a reaction...and that by just not participating within the reaction is not enough of a safety preventative measure...because the reaction is a point of abuse...and by not realizing it from within myself with self-forgiveness in real time...is like...allowing it to accumulate within myself as a memory that formed as a point of information...where I gave a a particular energetic charge....and the math of giving so many energetic charges within myself...is a resultant explosion/harm/abuse to the physical body...and possibly others....as reactionary behaviour is the cause of abuse in this world....as reactionary behaviour is without any compassion, care, and consideration for well being and is completely irrational.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cycle within particular thought patterns over and over again...as like thinking these are OK...and not like some more negative thought patterns....and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for categorizing and holding onto though patterns that I believe to be positive....and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the self-righteousness connection with positively charged energies...as I see, realise and understand how self-righteousness is in the roots of positive energetic charges...and is in fact why when you are possessed within positive energy....you have noooooooooo idea.....how fucking retarded you in fact are...because it's a point of being blinded by the light....

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be totally fucking retarded within positive energy as a point of self-righteousness....and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how getting focused on the positive energy actually perpetuates mental retardation and blindness from physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to numb myself with self righteousness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to numb myself with reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating numbness to information within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being so possessed within energetic charges in relationship to words/information/observations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for casting spells of blame.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself fro resisting to dare to look at the extensive nature of lameness within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that looking at lameness within myself is just a point of judging myself and that I shouldn't judge myself as lame because that;s negative and I should rather just twist my word relations/information around so that I view regard myself only in a positive way/light...so that I can trick myself instead of treating myself to actually being a person of integrity and dignity...who wants what;s best for myself and all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my body as my body...and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be at war with my body within passively accepting and allowing reactions/thoughts/feelings/emotions to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for confusing self honesty with self righteousness....and within this not taking the time to breathe and observe the energy charge that is always in play within and as self-righteousness...as the tell tale sign of physical instability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being dishonest within myself when believing myself to be just within having an emotional reaction/explosion projecting energetically charged words onto others...as a point of not being able to handle my shit...and not caring who has problems dealing with my shit...cause...I don;t want it to be my problem...and I just gotta get it out of me by projecting it onto others.

I commit myself to stop fighting with myself and others.

When and as I see myself fighting with myself and or another, I stop and breathe...I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of such behaviour....I smile as I realise crisis adverted within stopping and breathing. lol. I direct self-forgiveness in the moment, as I see and realise the physical practicality of moment to moment application of self-forgiveness....as self-forgiveness as an installed application within myself is like a DIY physical body purifier.

When and as I see myself having a reaction, I Stop and breathe...I direct myself into utilizing  my installed application of self-forgiveness as my go to tool of support within myself. I enable myself to see and realise the absurd ridiculousness in relation to the particular point of reaction as I apply myself within and as the process of self-forgiveness. I see and realise how I receive awesomeness as like the funny of understanding the abusrd ridiculousness of a point within forgiving myself for a point because the dimension of funny is connected to every single point as are all dimensions connected to every single point...and I realise and understand the support within utilizing funny as a tool to assist and support self-expansion as like a way that makes process always fun.

I commit myself to fun within and as the process of self-realization through applying the physical application of self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to sharing the stellar awesomeness of self-forgiveness as a global solution that must be implemented on an individual level.

I commit myself to living the physical installment of self-forgiveness as like an application that is ingrained into the law of my Beingness...as I realise and understand the starting point of creation is within self-forgiveness...as I see and realise the starting point of creation as Equality and Oneness.

When and as I see myself manipulating information to paint and portray a positive light/energy...I stop and breathe...and I realise and understand the fuckedness of such participation...I move myself to investigate my behaviour within running the application of physical self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to physically ingraining self-forgiveness into myself as a point of common sense obviousness...as like one and equal to the point of breathing...as a point of my physical embodiment as a point of self-support and self direction in being here as a real living being who cannot be compromised...and who stands for all Life as what is best for all Life.