Day 151 Oral Hygiene Negligence

So I went to the dentist today. I had not been to the dentist in a few years. I booked an appointment because I was aware of the fact that I have been negligent with my oral hygiene.  I've always had pretty good teeth...mind you since I was a young child I would see the dentist every six months. I kind of took going to the dentist for granted.

Today I was faced with the brutal truth that I have chosen to be negligent with my teeth. Specifically flossing...like that has been basically non existent within my life...and I guess it's because since I was a child it was something I avoided most of the time because I never experienced a consequence for not doing it...as like the dentist would always tell me to do it...and sometimes I would lie and say I was doing it and they'd be like good job and other times I would say I wasnt and they would tell me that it's important and that I should do it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect oral hygiene as like regularly flossing and brushing my teeth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing the importance of flossing and brushing my teeth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that flossing is unnecessary work that does not have any realy benefits unless there is something I can feel that is stuck in my teeth and I want/need to get it out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating resistance to brushing and flossing my teeth when I was a child and I forgive myself for not realising that I have accepted and allowed resistance to brushing and flossing my teeth as like a means of avoiding labor/work/chores.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to do regular work on myself as like physical body maintenance and upkeep.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having not placed any importance on brushing  my teeth several times a day and flossing a few times a day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I can just maintain excellent oral hygeine with my tongue.

I forgive myself for not considering the starting point of why I felt like I could just maintain excellence dental hygiene with my tongue and some brushing here and there because I was looking to justify limmiting the amount of work that is necessary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating negative emotions about flossing and brushing my teeth 2 to 3 times a day regularly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be neglectful with brushing and flossing 2-3 times daily.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that if I manage to brush my teeth once a day that is sufficient and that if I don't brush today and I brush tomorow that is still pretty good and that as long as I still use a tooth brush from time to time I am good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a ridiculous attitude about brushing and flossing my teeth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having justified not being able to brush my teeth when I am living in the bush working as a tree planter.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made excuses that it's tough for me to brush my teeth as much as I do when I am living in the city as when I am camping  in the bush in remote locations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the self discipline within and as a basic self responsibility within and as basic physical body nourishment and support.

I realise the ridiculousness of my sharing here.

I realise I had created specific attitudes about flossing and brushing my teeth a long time ago and that I was just playing out my acceptances and allowances as like a programmed robot.

I realise I am capable and able to brush my teeth 2-3 times a day and that I am capable of flossing my teeth 2-3 times a day.

I realise that I am fortunate that my teeth and gums are in pretty good shape.

I realise that now is the opportunity to self perfect my attitude towards oral hygiene.

I realise I've been kind of gross by deliberatley neglecting to brush my teeth 2-3 times a day and for deliberately dismissing regular use of floss.

I realise brushing and flossing regulary are small acts that accumulate bit by bit over time into the maintenance of excellence oral hygiene.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to not want to brush or floss my teeth when the point opens up as an opportunity for me to do so...I stop and I breathe and I allow myself to brush and floss my teeth and nourish the well being of myself as oral hygiene.

I commit myself to developing excellent discipline within the maintenance of oral hygiene.

I commit myself to exposing the ridiculousness of neglecting oral hygiene.

Day 150 Choice and Consequence

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing choices/decisions and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the consequences of my decisions/choices.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that consequences can be avoided at the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not recognising the practicality of making decisions/choices as a means of moving through consequence as like moving through accepted and allowed resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I always know what is best for all life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the consideration that maybe I don't know what is best for all life here in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to face the fact that at the moment I don't know everything and that I require the assistance and support of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the support of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be manipulated by others within the blief that they are supporting me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to stand alone within and as the certainty of myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from choices/decisions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that if I avoide making choices/decisions than I am avoiding consequences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating negative emotions about consequence as negative energetic charges as like shame/regret/remorse/sorrow/guilt/fear/bad/wrong/unjust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing consequence to be way out there somewhere as to say that consequence is not a part of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for hiding from myself the brutal truth of myself as existing here as consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to burry the truth of myself.

I forgive myself for buying into the mentality, 'out of sight means out of mind'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the extent of my acceptances and allowances and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting facing my past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing anger as an emotion to hide from myself the emotion of disapointment and sadness because sadness and dissapointment expose vulnerability and anger brings forth the experience of power and control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having chose anger as my prefferred emotion as to put up a front of self righteous superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to face myself as vulnerability and disapointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to face myself as disapointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being fearful of making mistakes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to hurt others emotionally within and as the decisions and choices I make.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for emotionally fucking with myself as consequence of worrying about how people will react within feelings/emotions to the decisions/choices I make.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for people's experience of themselves within feelings and emotions...even though I know taking people's shit personally is ridiculous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to judge myself and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to hold onto feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to move myself based upon energetic reactions as feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to manipulate my feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to manipulate people's feelings and emotions for my personal enjoyment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deriving enjoyment from fucking with people's feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting within guilt and remorse for choosing to deliberately fuck with people's emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not considering myself within the scenario of fucking with people's feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realise that when I am actively choosing to fuck another being that I am also being fucked in the process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to hold onto judgements about beings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to believe thoughts as judgements about beings as like a coping mechanism of trying to exist within my accepted and allowed self judgement.

I realize choices and consequences are playing out here in time.

I realize consequence is unavoidable.

I realize I exist within consequence.

I realize the ridiculousness of holding onto a negative energetic charge for the word consequence.

I realize holding onto a negative energetic charge for the word consequence triggered reactions within myself as negative energetic charges.

I realize within the choices and decisions that I make I can minimize the extent of consequences by making the best picks.

I realise consequence can be a tool of support to facilitate self correction/learning as to see why and how things happened the way they did.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to fear making a decision/choice...I stop and I breathe and I allow myself to investigate the accepted and allowed fear...and I therfore accept and allow myself to see the ridiculousness I was creating by holding onto fear.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to make a bad choice, I stop and I breathe and I allow myself to make a better decision/choice.

When and as I see that I have accepted and allowed myself to  make a bad decision...I stop and I breathe and I correct the situation by changing my mind and making a good decision. Within this, I forgive myself for the mistake that I made and I am grateful for allowing myself to see the mistake that enabled self correction/self perfection.

I commit myself to learning from the choices/decisions I make.

I commit myself to learning from accepted and allowed consequences.

I commit myself to self correcting mistakes.

I commit myself to letting go of fear of consequences.

I commit myself to embracing myself here as consequence(s)

Day 149 Self Dishonesty is the Choice

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that self honesty is a choice.




I forgive myself for not realsing the self deception within and as the statement, "self honesty is a choice". This is a self deceptive statement because it's like leaving a back door open as like self sabotage as like well maybe I can pick self interest from the perspective of what is less than best for all life here....as like to convince yourself that common fucking sense isnt obvious common fucking sense and therfore a choice/decision is required because clarity had been compromised within and as accepted and allowed self deception.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having mind fucked with myself about decisions and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating uncertainty within myself as consequence of accepting and allowing myself for disregarding common sense as what is best for all life is best for me because I am here as a part as a participating part of life and I recognise part in participant as each particpant is part of life here and we are all particpants here within and as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded myself here as an equal and one life participant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having accepted and allowed myseld to be apathetic about being a life particpant here and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not accepting and allowing myself to exist here as a life particpant here who really gives a shit about being here as what is best for all life as a self reflection of and as what is best always.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that when I am having exstensive difficulty in making a decision....I am in fact exposing to myself accepted and allowed mind fucking as accetped and allowed self deception which as consequence makes seeing common sense extremely difficult.
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that I created extreme difficulty in seeing common sense as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to exist as self dishonesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not considering the difficulty within and as self dishonesty as like uncertainty and unknowing as like blind faith that is filled with hope as like I hope my decision is ok.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not considering the simplicity within and as the equality equation of and as common sense particpation within and as living self honesty as practical simplified living as 1+1=2.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really considering self dishonesty as a complex math equation that is unbalanced.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the simplicity of the equality equation within and as practical application as like my daily living and walking the formula of simplicity as equality and oneness here as self honesty as common sense as like wow, shit is so obvious when I allow myself to see.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making seeing the simplicity of and as common sense in every moment difficult.

I forgive mysel for accepting and allowing myself for creating difficulty within and as seeing common sesnse as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to doubt myself as common sense certainty and trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting the certainty and accuracy of myself as common sense simplicity and that maybe I am making things to easy and that I should over analyse things a litte more and create some difficulty/friction because how can things be so simple and easy to understand all the time.

I forgive mysel for accepting and allowing myself for believing that things must be complicated sometimes and that I should complicate things when they are two simple because I am not accounting for fear when I accept and allow shit to exist within and as common sense simplicity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing mysel for veiling common sense simplicity with fear particpations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing mysel for creating uncertainty and difficulty in seeing with absoultue clarity as commons sensical understanding within and as every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that being complex is cool and that being too simple is imature and childish and the being imature and childish is an undesirable and negative trait that is to be avoided and altered so that one is not labled as childish and imature and simple minded.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for polluting my mind with self dishonesty as judgement as choice.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising judgemenbt as choice as self dishonesty as self imposed limitations as like self sabotaging awesomeness potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that by letting go of choice I simply everything as to let go of choice means to let go of self imposed difcciulty as like mental judgement as like existing here within and as uncertainty as like to not know myself and who I am here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the cool support within and as the statement, "by letting go of choice, I simply everything because letting go of choice means to let go of self imposed difficulty as like mental judgements as like existting here within and as uncertainty as like to not know myself and who I am here."

I realise the the coolness as like awesome practical support within and as letting go of choice.

I realise letting go of choice enables myself here as what is best for all life as equality and oneness because what is simply best  for all is simply best for all and simple is simple and to complicate simple is complicated and complicated doesnt exist within and as common sense simplicity.

I realise self dishonesty is the choice.

I realise when I am having extreme difficulty in making a choice/decision...I am accepting and allowing self dishonesty within myself and my phyiscal body is revealy to me my foggy vision as the uncertainty within and as making a choice/decision and that if I wasnt accepting and allowing self dishonesty within myself////there would be no choice/decision...because I would be operating as the way as what is best for all life because what is best for all life is the only way to move and therfore there is no choice/decision involved.

I realise choice/decision implies stuckedness as like not getting something as like not knowing that I am fucking myself in a way that I would not like to fuck myself.

I realise understanding self dishonesty is a choice is a life changing event.

I realise I didnt know the extent to which I had been fucking myself within and as indecisiveness as like dwelling over decisions/choices and that I was perpetuating accepted and allowed mind fucks.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating mind fucks as consequence of particpating as indecisiveness as like dwelling over decisions.


When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to be stuck within and as indecisiveness as like choice and decision making....I stop and I breathe....and I let go of accepted and allowed fears as I realise fear is the accepted and allowed inhibitor that brings forth the choice scenario as uncertainty.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing difficulty within making a decision...I stop and I breathe and I allow myself common sense clarity as obvious simplicity.

When and as I see myself creating complex scenarios that require myself to second guess myself,...I stop and I breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of my accepted and allowed particpations as like intense mind fucking as I realise life is simple and that choosing to exist as less than life here is complicated and stupid.

I commit myself to life simplicity as common sense practical living as letting go of choice..

I commit myself to becoming life simplicity as what is always best for all life here.

I commit myself to sharing and exposing the ridiculousness of indecisiveness as accepted and allowed mind fucking as chooising self imposed limitations as the choice in choosing to be self dishonesty.

I commit myself to sharing my process from self dishonesty to self honesty.

I commit myself to becoming self honest in every moment.

Day 148 How Am I Existing Here?

      




How am I exisitng here comes from first asking the question of who am I existing here and within looking at who I am...I see how I am existing here within acceptances and allowances.

Seeing how I am existing here as who I am requires brutal self honesty because the honest truth of self being here is brutal.

As I've begun to let go of my desired and preffered self automated energy buzz, process is difficult as I am stopping the polarity friction of energy within myself.

Today was hard work.

At the moment I do not see an end of hark work in sight.

Ironically, all day amidst the hard work, I was hoping for relief as like a definitive end to the hard work which is me here as process.

Within and as hard work I have realised that wanting relief from hard work is like me looking for an escape as like an excuse to not have to work...it's like I fear not being able to do easy work and being free from hard work.  And within this previous statement, ridiculousness is exposed as me accepting and allowing myself to make easy work hard by accepting and allowing difficulty within moving through resistance.

What's ridiculous about this easy/hard work analogy is that it's entirely self induced and it's egomania.

some examples to give further perspective:

1) For the past 8 springs/summers I worked as a piece rate production tree planter.  The work has been easy at times and difficult at times...and what's interesting about this is that the work wasnt really that difficult in the beginning...maybe slight difficulty in the sense that my body goes through a metamorphosis as like strength training a variety of muscles within myself that prior to tree planting do not get anywhere near the exposure and usage that they do while playing/participating/working as a tree planter.

Within this phase of body metamorphosis I had bought into the idea that tree planting is extremely difficult...and I started listening to people that were saying that it's extremely hard work. I liked the idea that I am doing extremely hard work...as like ya...I am great because I am able and capable and specifically choose to do extremely hard work that is so physically demanding.

Within taking on this ideology about tree planting...I began to experience intense resistance to doing the work.  It's like it became so dificult for me to move myself...to the point where I would say, 'fuck it..fuck tree planting...im going to take a nap...or I would rather be somewhere else doing something else'...and I would stop working and mentally masturbate within thought about what I was imagining I rather be doing instead of tree planting...or I would smoke weed and forget about this massive resistance I had been creating.

Note: I realise I created self induced suffering/misery as consequence of feeding ego with beliefs of superiority as like to create myself as better than and more than. And this is ironic because it's like I casted a spell upon my abilities to perform my job well because of the way I was speaking as the worker I am.

It was in my 6th and 7th seasons of tree planting that I realised I had actively self been self sabotaging myself within past seasons...I would say after my 3rd season is when I started to create slef imposed limitations on my abilities...and it was so stuuupid...I mean I was performing excellent...like the best...and I got caught within my own self righteous indignation...as like I wanted people to really know how great I was....so I bought into the belief that my job is soooo hard.....and fuck...i became the experience of my work as sooooo hard....and you know...it's like from the beginning I was always pushing through the resistance....and than it's like pushing through resistance became easy for me...and...than slowly but surely it became more and more difficult...untill I said im done mind fucking myself....and fuck...it's like wow I had gotten so accustomed to mindfucking myself into such exstensive resistance....that moving through this resistance has been quite the process. As like pushing the point of resistance is more obvious thant it has ever been and that I reap the rewards as benefits for accepting and allowing myself to move through and therfore release accepted and allowed resistance.

It's like it becomes harder to really fuck yourself into oblivion when you are aware of the choices you are making as like it becomes an I know what I got to do....I fucking got it...I understand.

Within this there's still been a few times where I delibeeratley fucked myself by giving into emotional possessiveness as like not willing myself to push through accepted and allowed resistance...and I suffered the consequences accordingly.

I've realised consequence really fucking sucks....and that avoiding facing consequences in the sense of denying and deflecting seeing self created consequence is stupidity as what happens is a bigger mess is created because it was self accepted and allowed that the created mess want big enough and therfore the message of change as self realisation as self perfection into practical application wasnt totally realised and therfore consequential time loop results.


2) Upon finishing tree planting this summer i decided to extend my work season and I worked into the fall as a labourer cleaning up an oil spill and as a labourer doing water and sewer systems work.

I fucked with myself a few times within both of these jobs as consequence of accepting and allowing egomania.  Both jobs were easy as fuck.  So easy that I accepted and allowed myself to take the time and focus and awareness away from work to actively take on self destructive work as to fuck myself im the most unpleasant ways by creating judgements and comparisons about the jobs in relation to other things and also going into the point of righteous superiority in that im better than this and im not being challenged enough....and it's really funny because I made up mental challenges that did not need to exist...and so I created hardship as like pitty as like self victimization...as I accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself within energy possessive states of mind as lows and highs as like I wasnt getting the message as the mess I was creating. 

Fortunately within these two jobs I had been writing regularly and applying self forgiveness...so I didnt allow myself to stay stuck for too long as I allowed myself to unfuck myself so to speak...and I shared my accepted and allowed ridiculousness with my co-workers as like a form of stand up comedy...and this is great fun to do.




To sum up my blog into some words of awesomeness here:

Practical Living is making the deicision to make the best choices always as the best choices are best for everyone and  this makes us as practical living example as awesomeness here.

What's cool about making the decision to make the best choices is that when we realise we made a decision/choice that was less than the best....we are easily able to correct our choice/decision and face the consequences with ease....as we've proven to ourselves effective at releasing disease.

Day 147 Self Direction as Will isn't a Feeling

So throughout my life I've wanted to do or not do specific tasks based on how I feel about it. Within these instances there was no real self direction as my movement was based upon a movement within myself that I didn't really understand.  It's like i've been existing here as like a reaction as thoughts/feelings/emotions and I didn't really consider how my feelings/emotions/thoughts came to be what they are.

Earlier this evening I was walking my dog and I was thinking if everyone in the world was high on ecstasy at the same time...who would want abuse to exist here. Also I was thinking that people would be more compassionate and considerate if they were high on the love drug as like buzzing as the highest feeling...

I realise my thought train here is ridiculous and I realise the ridiculousness of thinking. The thoughts came up in my head and I let them go. 

My thoughts expose the point within me of how I have tried to direct myself based upon feelings.  I have experimented with drugs and I experimented with the belief of just being positive and creating positive energies to create the. 'it's all good man attitude' as like high on a buzz I'm directing.

What's interesting about my investigations within myself as accepted and allowed thoughts/feelings/emotions is that, maintaing a perfect equilibrium as like constant consistency has proven difficult/challenging...as like the more I fed the positive energies/feelings within myself...the more I brewed the negative emotions/frustrations/angers/irritations/annoyances within myself.  It's like this back and forth match within myself....and it's like I am always trying to push/manipulate my energies a certain way...as like to my prefferred/desired frequency...and as consequence of pushing/manipulating my energies...I always face the consequence as like the self created debt I must pay as like the unpleasantness I experience within myself.

Ive been exposed to the desteni material for quite some time now....and I have been playing with the tools for awhile...and its this point of energy experiences as like the positive feelings that Ive resisted letting go of...as like for a long tine...I deliberately abused the tool of self forgiveness to try and maintain an enhanced realm of positive energies...and within this, I created more and more consequences and I kept denying facing myself as the consequences...and so I would continue to spiral within my self created accepted and allowed time loops  of manifested polarity friction energy play outs.

What I am getting at here is that within always pushing for the positive energy experience and feelings....I didnt realise I was creating a dependency upon the low energetic emotional experiences...and that my movement was totally suppressed within the energetic time loops as the ups and downs.

What I eventually realised is that the positive feeling experiences are like twice as fucked as the negative energetic experiences because the positive is birthed from the negative.

It took me awhile to learn to move as the will to move as like me as the will I am....that I can move myself through the resistance as like the feelings/emotions as energies that I created that restrict my movement.

Within this, I learned that I can use all the accepted and allowed energies as resistances within myself as a life road map as unconditional assistance and support which is always best for everyone.

What I do is I go where there is resistance...I do what I resist doing...I choose what is difficult for me to choose. Within this it's like constant consistent work because everything is difficult because it's like I am constantly faced with my resistance.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting self willed movement as self direction because it contradicted my past movements as energy buzzing and I feared letting go of my desired energy buzz.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to let go of accepted and allowed desires as strong positive energetic buzzes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing my body by constantly trying to maintain an energetic high experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying giving into energy possessions because I pushed through energy resistances for several days.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining intense positive feelings as like a treat and a reward I should give myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying the feelings and emotions existent within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that if I ignore the feelings and emotions within myself than it's like saying that I don't have any feelings and emotions and that I am not possessed within accepted and allowed programming.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be possessed within accepted and allowed programming.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying the obviousness that I've been existing as energetic possession as like accepted and allowed addiction as like having a desired way to fuck myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for exhausting myself within energetic particpations of extreme lows and extreme highs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that self direction as the will I am is not based upon a feeling experience of energy and is in fact based upon physical labor as breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my process of self realisation and self perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for falling within the trap of 'high' experiences...as like to give myself a buzz as like a reward/treat for realising and seeing a pattern playout within myself that I am able to self correct.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to giving myself some sort of energy buzz based on acce[ted and allowed separation as energetic polarity friction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto limitation as like demonic energy possessiveness as being addicted to positive energy experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the labour involved within and as self correction as self perfection as equality and oneness here as what is best for all life always.


I realise self direction isn't a feeling.

I realise I am able and capable of assisting myself  with and as self direction by using my feelings and emotions as a tool of support in facing my accepted and allowed resistances.

I realise resistance is the road map to life.

I realise I had created exstensive resistance to utiliziing resistance as the life road map.

I realise how I can assist myself in pushing through accepted and allowed resistances with and as self willed breathing particpation.

I realise direct breathing participation facilitates awareness.

I realise neglecting breathing participation results in consequence as energetic possession as like accepted and allowed mind fuck.

I realise self direction is will power.

I realise will power isn't a feeling.

I realise will power stems from self directed breathing.

I realise the ridiculousness of fearing negative energy.

I realise the ridiculousness of trying to maintain positive energy.

I realise the ridiculousness of my particpations within manipulating energy charges as like to always extract the ecstasy from the negative energetic charge and to build up positive energy charges.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to see how I am directly responsible for abuse here as consequence of abusing and manipulating energy for self interested reasons that only consider myself as separate from all of existence here.

I realise fear perpetuates the existence of fear.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself desiring and thirsting for specific energetic experiences as like a giving into temptation as like a treat/reward for having previously pushed through accepted and allowed resistances,...I stop and breathe and allow myself ti remember the will I am as self direction.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to be stuck within energetic possession....I stop and breathe and allow myself to work with myself here as bring forth practical solutions for accepted and allowed energetic possessions.

Day 146 Arguing for Arguments Sake

 

So I noticed that sometimes I would argue just for the sake of arguing.  It's like sometimes someone would say something to me and I would react within resistances as like self defense mode...as like to go into argumentative mode in making sense of logical reasoning as to why I was right and what the other person was saying was wrong.  It's like at time I resist agreement in seeing and sharing the common sense that is being presented as like gift giving.

Example: Today I was playing golf and a couple of times I was informed before I hit the ball that my body alignment was kind of misaligned and that I was aiming way way left of my target...like way left. Both times I was informed of this I immediately went into defense mode as like to protect myself from being wrong as like to assert my being right as like my righteousness. It is also funny to note that in both instances I sprayed the ball way way left of my target.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for responding to criticism defensively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing criticism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting in fear to criticism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting assistance and support in self correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating difficulty in admitting fault.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a defender of ego as like to argue for arguments sake as like to assert and fight for limitations as self imposed self righteous addiction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how automated my defense systems have been in generated comments/remarks to assert self righteousness as like self suppression from self correction as like self agreement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the assistance and support of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that receiving lots of assistance and asupport from others is a sign of weakness as it would require me to admit and acknowledge and correct my faults.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to see my faults.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to embrace my faults when I recognise that I have made an error in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for arguing for self imposed limitation.

I forgive myself for not realizing the ridiculousness of myself in arguing and resisting practical assistance and support from others as like just obvious common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing that I am being directed by my feelings and emotions when I accept and allow myself to engage in arguments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for competing with people within and as communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for experiencing a loss and for fearing being at a loss when somebody says something that brings forth an opportunity for self correction as the potential exists for me to recognize my mistake and correct it in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting self correction in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating excuses and reasoning as like bullshit justifications as to why I cannot do self correction in the moment I have recognized a fuck up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to have difficulty within facing all my fuckups as like mistakes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be seen as a being who fuckups and makes mistakes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto negative emotions about mistakes as like incidents where I fucked up and did not perform from a starting point of what is best for all life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defending my mistakes/errors/fuckups with justifications/excuses as like validations to assert my emotional turmoil as like to give myself the perception/illusion that I am balanced within my emotional turmoil as accepted and allowed resistance to embracing mistakes/errors and moving on with self correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dwelling within mistakes and errors as like prolonging self induced consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for prolonging self induced consequences


I realise that as I allow myself to slow down and be here in and as breath as a breathing participant here...I am able to respond in situations as what is best for all life here within and as the simplicity of common sense.

I realize when I suppress myself in and as breathing awareness participation...I react with emotions and feelings and I am unable to respond within the moment as common sense practical application as what is best for all life here.

I realize the ridiculousness of arguing for self imposed limitation.

I realize I had programmed into myself a self automated defense system of argumentative reactions as ego protection to hide from the truth of myself as brutal self honesty as who I am at the core of my being.

I realize as I face mistakes/faults/errors/dishonesty I enable myself responsibility here as practical self corrective living.

I realize that embracing all my reactions is a cool point of support that assists and supports me in facilitating change that is best for all life here.


When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to go into defense mode as like to argue for my self imposed limitations within and as excuse and justification as like stringing together bullshit logic to assert self righteousness....I stop and I breathe and I expose accepted and allowed ridiculousness of myself as like woah...ahaha...hahhaha...i see the point....and yes, in the moment I express gratitude to the being that assisted and supported me in seeing that was able to be self corrected in the moment.

I commit myself to in the moment self correction.

I commit myself to sharing the awesomeness of embracing reactions as a tool of support in seeing and realiing accepted and allowed ridiculousness.

I commit myself to self correction as self perfection here as life birthed from the physical.

I commit myself to becoming self honesty always as like constant consistency.

I commit myself to exposing the ridiculousness within and as my process of self perfection.

Day 145 Getting Taxed

 

So I had some reactions of anger, frustration, irritation and annoyance today.  I was reacting to having to pay an Ontario provincial sales tax on the vehicle I purchased in the province of Alberta.

The big issue within me is that I am getting fucked...like raped by being legally obligated to pay this tax if I want to avoid further possible future consequences.

I had already been quite annoyed with being legally obligated to have vehicle insurance as I see the insurance industry as like a total fraud that has been justified through fear and that everyone must pay into this bullshit perpetuation because fear of consequence exists and the legal system works congruently with the money system which is an amazing disgrace to all life here.

Within my reactions today I noticed how angry, frustrated, irritated and annoyed with myself I am as I've taxed my body heavily throughout my earthly existence here.

I noticed that my reactions to my recent dealings with vehicle insurance and vehicle sales tax reflect my relationship with myself and how I feel about myself as what I have accepted and allowed within myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having projected blame and anger as like annoyance and irritation and frustration as like outside of myself as like towards the tax system and the money system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taxing my physical body with energetic reactions for having to pay vehicle sales tax.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to the fuckedness that exists as taxes and insurance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not living the realization that it makes no real practical difference here if I am emotionally distraught about the prolific amounts of physical abuse that exist here in our shared reality.


I realize I am in the process of studying my emotions and feelings as a tool of support to get to the core of myself to see who I really am.


I commit myself to understanding the origin of all my feelings and emotions.

Day 144 Let Me Inform You of My Excuse

 



I realize the absurd ridiculousness of feeling better about myself after explaining the reasoning/excuse/justification as to why I did or did not participate within a specific activity.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having felt better about myself as like being justified in my righteousness when I share information with others as like excuses/justifications/reasoning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I am protected in my self righteous indignation as like my excuse/justification/reasoning is my defense system that protects me from further self judgement and brutal self honesty as like to actually see the brutality of me as what I accept and allow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing value and worth within excuses/justifications/reasoning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for operating according to justifications, excuses and reasoning the supports justification and excuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing unjust justice as like unnecessary judgement and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that some judgement is necessary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mind fucking with myself within realms/dimensions of judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing myself and all of existence by placing worth and value within justifications and excuses as like bullshit reasoning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating myself and others in ways that are not best for all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using excuses and justifications as bullshit reasoning to alter/shift mine and others perception from the whole picture to a distorted judgement which I am hiding within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I can actually hide within accepted and allowed judgement as excuses and justifications.



I realize excuses and justifications as bullshit reasoning.

I realize how I have manipulated myself and others with excuses and justifications as bullshit reasoning.

I realize how I have compromised myself as what is best for all life here with excuses and justifications as bullshit reasoning.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising myself as what is best for all life here with excuses and justifications as bullshit reasoning.


I realize the ridiculousness of wanting and desiring to control relationship connections with excuses and justifications as bullshit reasoning as like a defense system to regulate the maintenance of my feelings and emotions I have towards and about certain relationship connections.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting and desiring to control relationship connections with justifications and excuses as bullshit reasoning as like a defense system to regulate the maintenance of my feelings and emotions I have towards and about certain relationship connections.


When and as I see myself wanting and desiring to  provide information as to what my excuse/justification is as bullshit reasoning as to why I did or did not do said activity,...I stop....I breathe and I allow  myself to realize the ridiculous absurdity in continuing within and as such a useless participation.


I commit myself to exposing the ridiculousness of excuses/justifications and bullshit reasoning.

I commit myself to stopping participation within and as excuses/justifications/bullshit reasoning.

I commit myself to releasing all relationship connections to and as excuses, justifications, and bullshit reasoning as I take self responsibility in purifying the law of my being as equality and oneness merged together here as physical living.

Day 143 Emotional Attachment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing difficulty in making decisoions as consequence of holding onto emotional attachment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating difficulty in seeing what is best for all as consequence of allowing emotional attachment as like emotional possession.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to share my dedcisions with others whom my decision will affect.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating exstensive resistance to sharing my thoughts about my decisions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to make the wrong decision.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to displease anyone with the decisions I make.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing people as disapointment within and as the decsions I make.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring validation from others for the decisions I make so that I don't have to doubt myself and the step I took.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel at ease and emotionally content when people compliment the decisions I make and tell me that I am making the right call,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to miss out on opportunitites within and as making decisions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating difficulty in making decisions as consequence of accepting and allowing myself for wanting and desiring to have everything.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuck with myself as like to mentally masturbate within emotions and feelings about the decisions I make.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding myself within decision making as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to be possessed by emotional attachments as like self induced worry/stress/strain.


I realise the necessity in letting go of emotional attachments within making decisions that are best for everyone.

I realise how clarity is not so clear within accepting and allowing fear.

I realise it's ridiculously stupid to mind fuck self with feelings and emotions about making decisions.



When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to be indecisive about decision making...I stop and breathe,,,and check myself to see where I am compromising myself within and as emotional attachment as fear of loss.


I commit myself to making decisions which are best for everyone.

I commit myself to regarding myself within the decisions I make.

I commit myself to letting go of doubt.

I commit myself to trusting the decisions I make.

Day 142 Recognising Resistances

Excuse and justification is consequence of accepting and allowing resistance.




I am in the process of stopping accepted and allowed resistances.

I am in the process of releasing accepted and allowed resistances.



Letting go of resistances is difficult because resistances exist as consequence of accepting and allowing fear to exist. It's ironic that letting go of resistance is difficult because difficulty exists as consequence of accepting and allowing fear to exist. It's ironic that terrible things exists as consequence of fear because each of us hear hers  is the propriertor of and as fear.  And what's so ridiculous about each of us being a soul sole propriertor of fear is that the situation here is entirely self induced.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating resistance as fuckedness as accepting and allowing bullshit suppression as self compromise as like doing nothing when everthing is required to be done and the capabilities exist within me to do/complete/everything.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myslef to create consequence.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deflecting, denying and suppressing the fact I exist as consequence.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist here as consequence.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing existing here as consequence.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to see myself here as consequence.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating the existence of consequence.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating the existence of consequence by participating as accpeted and allowed manifested consequence.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing an addiction to consequence.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating consequence.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being a negligent terrible fearfull difficult liar who neglects deflects consequence and creates manifested Life suppression.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing recognition of the fact that everytime I create resistance inside myself and I don't stop and release the creation of friction within myself I am actively abusing myself and all Life Here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get get lost within consequence.


I forgive myself for not realising that I accept and allow myself to be lost when I accept and allow myself to do nothing when I am faced with the work of stopping movement of accepted and allowed reistance within myself and releasing resistance.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to escape my manifested creation as resistance and avoid responsibility as accountability for myself as cewation here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am not capable of creation here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny my capabilities and potential.





I realise I got the potential capabilities to become living life here as what is best for all life here.


I realise hiding from the sight of resistance is cowardly shamefully wrong.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from the sight of resistance and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be cowardly shamefully wrong within and as self righteous addiction to consequential outcomes that are not best for all life here.


I realise all is forgiven once all is forgiven,

I realise all being forgiven is a porcess as I am in the process of becoming all forgiven as all forgiving as living breathing self forgiveness here.


I commit myself to becoming all forgiving as living self forgiveness here as who I am yesterday today and tomorow.


I commit myself to sharing the gift of self forgiveness with mysekf as equal and one here.


I commit myself to perfecting myself here as what is always for everyone here.


I commit myself to realising and understanding how I created everything here that is not best for all life.


I commit myself to learning from all my mistakes.


I commit myself to forgiving myself for all the mistakes I made.


I commit myself to creation as self perfection as what is best for all.


I commit myself to living the realisation that stopping what is not best for all is the first step in creating what is best for all.



When and as I see myself creating what is not best for all, I stop. I breathe and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating what is not best for all life here.  Within this I realise and remember I am in the process of removing everthing that is not best for all life here and that I will be constantly faced with resistance untill eventually resistance is no more.



Suppor self perfection by becoming self perfection.  http://desteniiprocess.com Everyone is invited.

Day 141 Agreement Moving as Support

I allow myself to move myself as self trust as like self willed commitment to self direction as self support as what is best for all,...It's like I'm existing as self agreement here as principled moment to moment application. It's like so cool crazy...like adaptation man...like having no knowledge and information to guide you as you commit to walk into the unknown and it's like the same thing everytime in that the outcome will happen. What the outcome is...is the question the answer and the solution as like what ever decisions have been made a result occurs...and it's like as a result of movements and moving from moment to moment as like playstation me participant here as self change here as what is best for all.

What i've recognised within this is that I keep walking no matter what...and it's like as I allow myself to walk as self trust...the realisation of myself and my capabilities expands and grows like fruit on the tree of opportunity as I recognise myself here within and as opportunity to facilitate self change that is best for everyone.

I recognise that I am in the harvest process of preparing myself as the tree of opportunity as I am involed in a radical labor intensive process of removing the rotten fruit th

It's interesting that i've allowed self trust to waver as like an indicator of self doubt as consequence of wanting to hold onto the past as consequence as accepted and allowed self judgement as manifested separation as weight given to holding onto accepted and allowed bullshit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self trust to waver as like an indicator of self doubt as consequence of wanting to hold onto the past as consequence as accepted and allowed self judgement as manifested separation as weight given to holding accepted and allowed bullshit.

Also, it's cool to note that as I allow myself to manage myself as here in the moment with and as  the tools Assistance and Support and it's like I have access to endless dimensions of assistance and support as I accept and allow myself access to myself as Assistance and Support Here as self honesty self trust agreement as common sense direction with self forgiveness as the guding tool to seeing myself here as always self correction to what is best for all....and that as I am patient with my work and allow myself to move slowly in technical precision movements...I in fact move faster and with ease as like a sense of flow as like playfullness as I play as self direction as I direct moments in the moment as the moment as me here participating in the moment creating the moment as I am creator...and it's like I am creating change within my accepted and allowed movements by stopping accepted and allowed movements that are less than what is best for all life....and it's in this practice of stopping and lettingg go in the moment that I allow myself to move with effortless ease as I embrace  self trust self commitment patience determination certainty confidence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for living in constant doubt of my self trust within and as self direction.  I realise the consequence of participating in daily judgements as accepted and allowed stalling as self compromise by not pushing the points of release as facing myself as judgement as fear as like accepted and allowed manifested friction within myself as like a high or a low as separation from my perfect equilibrium as balanced here in and as equality and oneness combined and fused together as one agreement here that is best for and as All Life Here.

I COMMIT MYSELF TO SELF PERFECTION AS AGREEMENT SLOW MOVING ASSISTANCE AND SUPPORT



Join me and others like me and you and sign up for the desteni i process as a first step in the direction of establishing real physical change.  http://desteniiprocess.com

Day 140 Self Forgiveness as Daily Bread

 

Making Self Forgiveness an all the time application is a cool principle to establish. It's like establishing self regulation as equality and oneness as the intent is made/given/lived as life as what is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having postponed immediate application of self forgiveness when a point came up within myself because of the justification I will do self forgiveness later when I have more free time and I don't have any specific obligations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing and thinking that I got to create specific time for self forgiveness as separate from my daily particpations.

I forgive myself for not realising the simplicity in incorporating self forgiveness into my every moment application of myself existing here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having suppressed my fullout application of self forgiveness as consequence of thinking that I can't be doing self forgiveness all the time.


I realise the awesomeness as like life enhancement to the fullest of establishing principled living application of self forgiveness anywhere anytime at any given moment.

I realise the effectiveness of applying self forgiveness as living principle in application.

I realise myself as self forgiveness.

I realise self forgiveness as self willed directed change.

I realise the impact in facilitating change that is best for everyone as constant consistent application of self forgiveness as who I am and what I do.


When and as I see myself recognising a point to apply self forgiveness on and I say to myself ok I see the point I will do it later tonight....I stop and I breathe and I realise I can deal with the point here and now and then it is done, dealt with remove and therfore I do not allow points to accumulate and expand as consequence of accepting and allowing procrastination as accepted and allowed postponement.

I commit myself to living self forgiveness as who and how I am Here.

I commit myself to sharing the awesomness of all the time application of self forgiveness as like living awesomeness as equality and oneness here as a real being who gives a shit about the well being of the world.

I commit myself to my daily bread as self forgiveness in the moment when I recognise a movement within myself as energy fluctuation.

I commit myself to establishing constant consistency with in the moment application of self forgiveness here.

I commit myself here as self mastery as living self forgiveness as self willed expression as what is best for everyone.




note: If you are a Being who really gives a shit about Life, check out the Desteni I Process.  http://desteniiprocess.com

Cheers and Best Regards!

Day 139 Fearing a Bad Deal

So recently I bought a new computer and I am in the process of purchasing a car. Before buying the computer and after buying the computer I experienced back chat as like 'don't buy a computer' and after I bought the computer I had thoughts like, 'well I can just return the computer'...'I should probably just return this.' I've had the same kind of back chat about purchasing a vehicle...like I should just forget about this.

I've noticed that these back chat thoughts I've been having with regards to purchasing goods that will directly assist and support my daily living have been based in and as fear as like fear of losing my money...fear that I will lose the money and the product will not be satisfactory and I will be pissed of because I don't have the product and I don't have my money.

It's actually quite ridiculous how I allow myself to entertain thoughts as fear as like believing I am protecting myself from getting fucked because by particpating in and as giving attention to backchat/thoughts/fear as emotional reaction I am fucked...and what's so fucked about that is that I don't realise I am fucked and actually believe I am taking preventive measures to avoid be fucked.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be fucked as like getting a raw deal that was manipulative and unfair.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself into ways as like pattern behaviours that I allow myself to fuck myself as consequence of trying to circumvent being fucked over.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the irony of my every reaction as feeling/emotion/backchat.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving soo much focus to trying to prevent being fucked.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto a self righteous attitude that I aam not actually fucked up at all and that I just got to protect myself from being fucked up like everybody else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear to exist within me as consequence of self righteous superiority complex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having defended and justified fucking myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to part with the money that I earned.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating like an emotional possessive relationship with and as money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not totally realising that an emotional possessive releationship with money reflects and exposes myself relationship as emotional possessiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing as emotional possessiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for moving as emotional possessiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a superiority/inferiority relationship with money as like I am inferior to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for allowing a ridiculous relationship to exist as inferior/superior relations to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am a superior being here if I have lots of money because money is a reflection of superiority status.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire superiority status.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as less than money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to devalue myself worth and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as consequence of devaluing myself worth try to portray the opposite polarity friction charge as superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing conflict within myself as like flip flopping with positions of superiority and inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing superiority to exist.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing inferiority to exist.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my physical well being as consequence of accepting and allowing inferiority and superiority within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing mysel for reacting within backchat as superiority or inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing inferiority and desiring superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having suppressed myself as equality and oneness as consequence of allowing myself to fear inferiority and desiring superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded the fact that my every relationship relfects the relationship I accept and allow within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having worshiped money as like supreme god force energy here that I move as like a devoted worshipper/follower in accordance to and as money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having allowed myself to exist as separate from money and I forgive for accepting and allowing myself for defining myself worth based on the amount of money in my bank account.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting as as like the fear of loss being activated when I part with money in the hundreds or thousands of dollars.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having thought that my way to survive here in this world is to make lots of money and spend very little.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating humanity's fucked up relationship with money by wanting more than my I need so that I can be protected from being fucked over by not having money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted making deals as consequence of fearing a bad deal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having suppressed my deal making abilities as consequence of fearing a bad deal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having suppressed my self trust as the ability to erradicate a bad deal when a bad deal exists.




I realise myself as a deal maker and that I how I exist as a deal maker reflects how I deal with myself.

I realise the best deal is that which is best for everyone.

I realise the fuckedness of deals/acceptances and allowances as abuse.

I realise our shared reality is a reflection of a bad deal as like accepted and allowed abuse and that I am resposnible for exposing this point and for releasing/eradicating this point by taking self responsibility for my fucked up acceptances and allowances...and providing practical solutions for fuckedness alleviation as I un-fuck myself so that fucking is about coming cumming together as like fucking awesome!


When and as I see myself going into fuckedness as like backchat/fear/thoughts/reactions...I allow myself to realise myself as iron man in that I see the irony existing within myself as the fuckedness of backchat/fear/thoughts/reactions.

When and as I see myself moving from the starting point of fearing being fucked...I stop and and I breathe and I realise how by stopping and allowing myself to breathe I actually self directed the eradication of a bad deal as like fucking brutal.


I commit myself to exposing the money superiority point existent within our shared reality.

I commit myself to sharing my experiences of fucking with myself so that I may be a practical example in fuckedness prevention.

I commit myself to standing as a practical living example of fuckedness eradication.

I commit myself to destroying fuckedness so that fucking abuse no longer exists.

I commit myself to seeing the ridiculousness in and as participations of fuckedness so that I stop and breathe as like self directed movement as the initial step in not actively engaging and encouraging fuckedness to continue and expand within myself.










check out the following links:

http://desteniiprocess.com
http://desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org
http://eqafe.com


google the word, 'poverty' and click on images.

guess what? were responible for the solution. Particpate in bring forth a monestary system that supports life and not abuse. See http://equalmoney.org

 

Day 138 Recognising Process

Process occurs in time.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting frustrated and irriatated and angry and like uncomfortable as like stress on my body as consequence of desiring instantanious results.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting stressed for not immediately understanding how to apply DIP material for my DIP assisgnment. visit http://desteniiprocess.com

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not likely the process of self realisation where I go from a point of not knowing to a point of knowing as that being in between knowings so to speak is brutal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not liking the experience of myself as not knowing as like uncertainty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in fear when I am not certain how to do something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to doing things that I don;t totally know everything about because I experience fear within myself as like 'am I doing this right' and 'I hope I am doing this right' and 'I hope I don't screwup what im trying to learn how to do.'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a resistance to learning new thing that don't come easily to me as like instantly I understand and everything is clear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get stressed when I have an assignment to finish and I am having difficulty within the assignmnet.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the patience required as learning process in living and applying new skills with specific effectiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing mistakes and forg wanting to avoid mistakes as consequence to fearing mistakes.

I forgive myself for not totally realising that if I am not sure how to do something and I try and make a mistake that is ok as like I can learn from my mistake. Within this point obviously I am aware of common sense application to not put myself in a dangerous situation where I try to figure something out which requires specific training and education.

I realise myself as here in process...processing as like an every moment application of me here as like the consequence of my acceptances and allowances.

I realise the ridicullousness of fearing the process that is unfolding in always.

I realise avoiding to do things because they are new and unknown is ridiculous.

I realise my whole existence here has been as consequence of fear participations.

I realise our sharedc reality is a reflection of each individual as a fear participant.

I realise process as beeing faced with fear particpations as acceptances and allowances.

When and as I see myself beginning to get overwhelmed as like frustrated, irritated, angered and annoyed about the work I am doing...I stop and I breathe and I realise I am here in process and that I am processing a point of self realisation and that reacting as like having an emotional outburst like a temper tantrum is just unacceptable self inflicted abuse.

I commit myself to the patience and discipline required in becoming an effective life processor.

processor sounds kind of like professor. lol. I chuckled when I read I commit myself to the patience and discipline required in becoming an effective life professor.

Life Professor sounds cool. ok that's it for now.

visit: http://desteniiprocess.com

http://equalmoney.org

Day 137 Moving Through Fear

Who would I be without fear? How would I move without fear?



 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hum and haw within fear as like excessive thinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been directed by fear as like wanting and trying to move away from fear as like energetic reactions as feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking and trying to just put myself under a spell of self hypnosis that I don't experience fear as like energetic reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for allowing myself to be limitted within the confinements of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my reactions as like an attempt to circumvent facing accepting and allowing programming as fear based energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be hesitant within decision making and self willed directed movement as consequence of feeling stuck within resistance as like creating energetic reactions within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having difficulty operating without some sort of energetic buzz as like feeling/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to created energetic experiences within myself as fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling overwhelmed at times by the intensity of energetic experiences as like manifested consequence of automated fear programming within myself that I have developped and particpated within throughout the years that I have existed here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my self direction to have been comprised by feelings/emotions as like dimensions of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying and believing that I can just wait out fears as like saying I will avoid doing something untill I forget about accepted and allowed energetic posssessions within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making such a big deal about fear as like the almighty energy that all other feeling/emotion energy exists within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate as fear as like constantly moving as an energetic buzz.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting frustrated and irritated and mildly angered with the discipline and patience required in working through energies as reactions and mind constructs as like going into detailed specifics of passed memories in order to release myself from past accepted and allowed programming.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to the amount of work that is required of me to work through my mind consciousness systems.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself myself to move away from resistance when it seems like I am faced with just so much resistance.

I forgive myself fro not living the realisation in every moment that when I am faced with intense resistance that these are really cool moments of opportunities of self expansion as like releasing myself from within the confinments of self imposed limitation as fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created a dependency on maintainy a certain level of energetic buzzing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to question the experience of myself as an energetic buzz when the experience of myself as an energetic buzz feels good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying energteic buzz's that feel good because the feel good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making the experience of myself as difficult as like being indecisive about always pushing through accepted and allowed resistances as like my life road map.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be wrong as like being wrong is a blow to my ego as self righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing loss as like being wrong and experiencing myself as having made a mistake.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to mistakes with anger irritation and annoyance as like a blow to my super ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having invested energy in self righteoussness as like a buzz Ive built in defense mechanisms for so that I automatically assert self righteousness and deflect self responsibility in facing myself in every moment with brutal self honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for automatically deflecting self responsibility with self righteous energetic addiction as like maintianing a high like energetic buzz of it's all good man as like a way to avoid looking and facing what I have accepted and allowed within myself that is not good and in fact abusive as accepted and allowed separation as like a disregard fro all as one as equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to moving through self created resistance with an energteic buzz of righteousness like feeling high and mighty for realising something about myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trapping myself within the positive high of almightiness as like a veil of self deception guised as like a celebration of self realisation as greatness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for worrying/fearing to make mistakes and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my ability as self correction as like self perfection to direct mistakes with practical solutions as remedies to problems with common sense awareness as like self direction in the moment as self trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for questioning myself trust as like uncertainty within myself as like fear that maybe Im not sure about myself as like what if I am worng and I am not right.


I realise I am part of an exstensive process of self investigation that requires my patience and disicpline in order to move through resistances as the resistances seem to be getting bigger and bigger as like it seems the more I apply myself the greater the resistance I will encounter untill eventually resistance is no more and life is but a breeze.

I realise at the moment I am in the process of actually getting to life and therfore I am required to walk through the entirety of myself as fear as like an unwinding of all accepted and allowed thoughts/feelings/emotions as like polarity energies Ive created within myself as like different system coding programmed behaviour operating systematic responses.

I realise 'stop and breathe' as a great tool of support in slowing myself down and stopping energetic possessions that come up within me as reactions as points of resistance I am faced with in the moment.

I realise as I continue to move through resistance I develop consitency in applying myself with releasing energies back into the ground as I ground myself with and as physical presence here.

I commit myself to moving through resistance/fear as like a point of self support in borthing myself as life from the physical.

I commit myself to become self honesty in every moment as self willed movement as equality and oneness.

I commit myself to sharing my story of moving through process.

I commit myself to becoming a real physical being here.

I commit myself to the exstensive work involved in working through mind constructs in facing memories with brutal self honesty and allowing myself to face memories as a particpant as opposed to an observer looking at memories from a distance as a point of separation.

I commit myself to standing as a being walking process of equality and oneness.

I commit myself to the creation of heaven and earth as birthing myself as life from the physical.

Day 136 Fear Fear is Like Saying Fear Me

I've come to the conclusion that I am Fear and that I am in the process of re-connecting myself as Fear as like removing the accepted and allowed separation from within myself by facing fear as facing fear is facing myself. LOL.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having believed fear to be a separate manifestation as separate from me that was not in fact me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having existed as less than fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having not realised that existing as less than fear is like existing as less than nothing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having existed as less than nothing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having projected blame and responsibility upon fear and excluded myself from the consideration and realisation that I must be and am in fact fear and that I've been using myself against myself as like self inflicted conflict as accepted and allowed separation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for misusing and abusing myself as fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having denied accepting and allowing myself here as fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to seeing myself as fear.

I forgive myself for not realising the irony as like pure comedy gold in trying to hide and avoid fear and for being uncomfortable in the presence of fear as that's like sayiing i've been trying so very hard to avoid seeing and realizing myself as who and how I am here.  LOL!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been caught/stuck within my own self created ridiculousness as like trying so very hard to avoid seeing and realising myself as who and how I am here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having existed within coping with trying so very hard to avoid seeing and realising myself.

I forgive myself for not realising that I have been playing hide and seek with myself and that at the moment I don't remember when I decided to begin playing hide and seek.

Kind of ironic that early childhood games that are introduced are peak a boo i see you and hide and seek.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that self dishonesty is the consequence of fearing fear...as like to say myselfing myself as like fucking fuck as like wowing wow as wow is me as fear is me as fuck is me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from and as vocabulary as like believing that I'm not words I just use words...and therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using and abusing myself as words as like consequence of not realising myself as words.

I forgive myself for not realising that when I am learning words I am self learning as like self expansion as like who how and what I am as living expression.

I forgive myself for not totally realising that love is fear and that fear is love.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having existed within conflict as like an instability flux of polarity friction energies between fear and love as like fear is bad and love is good and therefore I programmed and conditions myself to avoid seeing myself as bad and skew my vision to only seeing myself as good and that everything is all good man and that bad doesn't really exist because I was hiding from myself as bad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having projected blame towards fear to the extent that I believed that love must eradicate and exterminate all fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that fear must be eradicated and exterminated by love.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created a hatred towards fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that I have been perpetuating war, violence, abuse, harm suffering throughout the world as a result of having accepted and allowed myself for wanting to eradicate fear with love and I forgive myself for not realising that I created love from fear...as like fear of loss...like not wanting to lose that which I love...which is funny because what I love is a result of fear.

I forgive myself for having resisted pushing myself daily to purify my vocabulary as equalizing myself as vocabulary as living words as like realising myself one and equal as each word and putting myself as the living word into daily application as living walking talking breathing expression here as equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising vocabulary as like math and music at the same time as like the sound energetic equation created based on my accepted and allowed judgement of the word.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded sound equality and oneness as like the same image and likeness as like you is me and me is you and fear is love and love is fear.


I realise myself as fear here for people to hear.

I realise my abilities/capabilities in sharing my fear as like sharing myself as all as one as equal as what is best for all Life.

I realise the awesomeness in fear as I realise the awesomeness within myself.

I realise myself responsibility in purifying vocabulary as like fixing all the accepted and allowed mistakes I made in judging words as separate from me.


I commit myself to exposing/educating and further investigating my relationship with fear to the point of equality and oneness as establishing an agreement within myself as fear.

I commit myself to play with fear.

I realise when I say I commit myself to play with fear I am essentially saying that I commit myself to play with myself. lol. I like to play with myself always. I sure do! lol.

I commit myself to playing with my words as I realise I am the words I speak and HOW I speak my words is a reflection of who I am in the moment as living the words I speak!.

I commit myself to stopping hiding from self responsibility.

I commit myself to self learning as know thy self.