Day 137 Moving Through Fear

Who would I be without fear? How would I move without fear?



 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hum and haw within fear as like excessive thinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been directed by fear as like wanting and trying to move away from fear as like energetic reactions as feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking and trying to just put myself under a spell of self hypnosis that I don't experience fear as like energetic reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for allowing myself to be limitted within the confinements of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my reactions as like an attempt to circumvent facing accepting and allowing programming as fear based energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be hesitant within decision making and self willed directed movement as consequence of feeling stuck within resistance as like creating energetic reactions within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having difficulty operating without some sort of energetic buzz as like feeling/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to created energetic experiences within myself as fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling overwhelmed at times by the intensity of energetic experiences as like manifested consequence of automated fear programming within myself that I have developped and particpated within throughout the years that I have existed here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my self direction to have been comprised by feelings/emotions as like dimensions of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying and believing that I can just wait out fears as like saying I will avoid doing something untill I forget about accepted and allowed energetic posssessions within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making such a big deal about fear as like the almighty energy that all other feeling/emotion energy exists within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate as fear as like constantly moving as an energetic buzz.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting frustrated and irritated and mildly angered with the discipline and patience required in working through energies as reactions and mind constructs as like going into detailed specifics of passed memories in order to release myself from past accepted and allowed programming.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to the amount of work that is required of me to work through my mind consciousness systems.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself myself to move away from resistance when it seems like I am faced with just so much resistance.

I forgive myself fro not living the realisation in every moment that when I am faced with intense resistance that these are really cool moments of opportunities of self expansion as like releasing myself from within the confinments of self imposed limitation as fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created a dependency on maintainy a certain level of energetic buzzing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to question the experience of myself as an energetic buzz when the experience of myself as an energetic buzz feels good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying energteic buzz's that feel good because the feel good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making the experience of myself as difficult as like being indecisive about always pushing through accepted and allowed resistances as like my life road map.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be wrong as like being wrong is a blow to my ego as self righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing loss as like being wrong and experiencing myself as having made a mistake.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to mistakes with anger irritation and annoyance as like a blow to my super ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having invested energy in self righteoussness as like a buzz Ive built in defense mechanisms for so that I automatically assert self righteousness and deflect self responsibility in facing myself in every moment with brutal self honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for automatically deflecting self responsibility with self righteous energetic addiction as like maintianing a high like energetic buzz of it's all good man as like a way to avoid looking and facing what I have accepted and allowed within myself that is not good and in fact abusive as accepted and allowed separation as like a disregard fro all as one as equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to moving through self created resistance with an energteic buzz of righteousness like feeling high and mighty for realising something about myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trapping myself within the positive high of almightiness as like a veil of self deception guised as like a celebration of self realisation as greatness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for worrying/fearing to make mistakes and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my ability as self correction as like self perfection to direct mistakes with practical solutions as remedies to problems with common sense awareness as like self direction in the moment as self trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for questioning myself trust as like uncertainty within myself as like fear that maybe Im not sure about myself as like what if I am worng and I am not right.


I realise I am part of an exstensive process of self investigation that requires my patience and disicpline in order to move through resistances as the resistances seem to be getting bigger and bigger as like it seems the more I apply myself the greater the resistance I will encounter untill eventually resistance is no more and life is but a breeze.

I realise at the moment I am in the process of actually getting to life and therfore I am required to walk through the entirety of myself as fear as like an unwinding of all accepted and allowed thoughts/feelings/emotions as like polarity energies Ive created within myself as like different system coding programmed behaviour operating systematic responses.

I realise 'stop and breathe' as a great tool of support in slowing myself down and stopping energetic possessions that come up within me as reactions as points of resistance I am faced with in the moment.

I realise as I continue to move through resistance I develop consitency in applying myself with releasing energies back into the ground as I ground myself with and as physical presence here.

I commit myself to moving through resistance/fear as like a point of self support in borthing myself as life from the physical.

I commit myself to become self honesty in every moment as self willed movement as equality and oneness.

I commit myself to sharing my story of moving through process.

I commit myself to becoming a real physical being here.

I commit myself to the exstensive work involved in working through mind constructs in facing memories with brutal self honesty and allowing myself to face memories as a particpant as opposed to an observer looking at memories from a distance as a point of separation.

I commit myself to standing as a being walking process of equality and oneness.

I commit myself to the creation of heaven and earth as birthing myself as life from the physical.