I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto myself as a greedy self righteous character.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to my acceptances and allowances as a greedy self righteous character.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating greedy self righteousness within the form of and and as the depression character as like holding onto memories within and as expereinced emotional lows as like a heavineness weighing down on me as like making it difficult to move and wanting to just hide and go to sleep.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being to self righteous at first to acknowledge the fact that Ive been fighting depression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking it's impossible to get depressed really...like how could I get depressed...I mean I focus on the positive.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for hiding from self realised depression for hiding within positive energetic experiences.
I forgive myself for not realising that seeing my accepted and allowed depression was inevitable as Ive commited myself to letting go of the energetic high experiences.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for going into the polarity low energetic experience as like the opposite of the energetic high experience.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fucking withi myself internally as like mentally masturbating myself with self defeating thoughts in whihc I reacted to and felt victimized and helpless...all the while not reallising for a few moments that I was doing this to myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for engaging within my fucks when and and as I see my mind moving or something like moving within me as like an energy as a reaction as a feeling or an emotion.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having not considered living a practical solution of prevention as like knowing how to prevent going into situations of reaction.
I forgive myself for not realising that if I actually look within the thoughts that come up within me and get to understand them...I can actually prevent the play out of a whole bunch of reactions by seeing and understanding my acceptances and allowances....and therfore I can then forgive myself so that I don't have to perpetuate self limmiting programming conditions.
I forgive mysellf for accepting and allowing myself for believing I am picking and choosing when I accept and allow myself to be pulled and pushed by energy expereinces within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having being self dishonest by picking and choosing when I want to particpate within playout of energetic reactions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for self sabotaging myself with eneretic addictions as like desiring high experiences as like trying to escape the emotional low depression I experience within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto emotional low energetic experiences within myself.
I realise as I see point of reactions, I am capable of stopping the problem/reactions before the problem manifests into a situation because I can choose to make as self willed decision to stop perpetuating the problem.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fuelling the drop down low energetic experiences by always minding/thinking positive as the enrgetic high experience.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing an energetic internal dialogue that I'm allowing myself to participate within.\
I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that all the little reactions I particpate within as like feelings or emotions....are the cause and create the brewing of big energetic experiences as like the super highs or super lows as big energy pulls/pushes that it seems like I am uncapable of stopping as like I am possessed by the energy. I forgive myself fo rnot realising that these experiences are consequence of exstensive energetic buildup and did not just simply happen randomly...but were built up over time as consequence of many accepted and allowed smaller reactions as thoughts/feelings/emotions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for sometimes wanting and desiring to follow out thoughts as like jump into that belief as like yes I just had a thought and now I am going to do what the thought suggested I should do because I believe I like my thoughts and my thoughts are always suggestions for me as how to move.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking I wouldnt know how to move without thoughts/thinking/feeling/emotion.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising when I desire to play out thought as like acting on it immediately as a reaction to a reaction...that I am being pulled by the accepted and allowed energy charge within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be pulled and pushed by energetic charges within myself as like pulled by the positve high and pushed by the emotional low.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing sugar to give me pulls on energetic feelings of highness as like a comfort zone.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for always seeking a comfort zone within and as accepted and allowed energy conflict within myself as like constantly being pushed or pulled by acceptances and allowances as like what I believe about myself based on what I've thought about myself within my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting energetic pull and push prevention as like understanding and realising how energetic pulls and pushes exist as consequence of particpating and acting out reactions as like an unwinding of events as like a reaction to reaction to reaction to reaction to reaction as like thought of a thought of a thought of a thought of a thought as like down the rabbit hole, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not considering/understanding/realising the string allong sequence of evernts as carried allong/attached/connected consequences that unfold within the thought of a thought of a thought of a thought of a thought of a thought....as like energy...energy....energy...energy....as like reaction...reaction...reaction....reaction...and the code always being positive or negative...positive or negative....or like a neutral,....the neutral not being and equality and oneness though....the neutral being like a middle road so to speak,,,as like an in between positive or negative,.,,as like not really creating a buzz within me but I have exisiting buzzes within me as like highs and lows and this is just kind of bland as like not really high energy and not really low energy,...kind of like a double fuck in a way....like being fucked from both sides,...as like conequence of not commiting to a zing as like a high zing or a low zing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within so many energetic zings within myself as like zing zing zing...let me always zing zing zing....thought/feeling emotions....reactional orgasmic explosions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for building up orgasmicreactional explosions as consequence of particpation within smaller reactions without releasing them and therfore holding those smaller reactions/thoughts/feelings/emotions within myself for the reward of experiencing as seemingly bigger relase/reaction later...as like just not being able to control myself as like exploding with anger/irritation/frustration/annoyance/excitement/happiness/love/joy as like polarity energetic buzzes as like being pushed or pulled into a musical tone of expression as like the spell of a self induced hypnosis that I'm perpetuating with every particpation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for cycling within thoughts/feelings/emotions from memories and recycling thoughts/feelings/emotions as memeories I've had before and that I have developped an emotional/feeling attachment reaction to as like a desire or immediate fear as like a physical trauma and in this case physical trauma includes the physical highs and the physical lows because the low came before the high.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fucking with myself and manifesting depression, greedy,righteousness from within the starting point of desired curosity as like deceitful particpation as like ok I experiencing a bit of a pull or a push here as energy...and it's like an itch in a way...as like ok I just fucking scratch it and see what happens...not really considering why this itch/pull/push has come up within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for pitying myself within experiences of like self victimzation where it's like a wallowing within helplessness as like fuck, why me why am I experiencing this...It can't possibly be my fault...this isnt fair...why has this happened to me....I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abdicating self responsibility fom myself by believing myself to be beyond evil...as like a benevolent being and that I am being punished by some sort of evil being....and therfore I forgive myself for not realising that I have been in battle with myself as like the all benevolent being and the all evil being....well actually its more like Ive always been the evil being who has projected benevolence yet has taken responsibility fullout as like a labour of loving of acting out benevolence as doing the work necessary to move through process as swift and as quick as possible as like, yes I am the solution and in every moment I am here as the solution and therfore I am here in time as the solution for time as like I am a timeless solution as like it doesnt matter what time it is here as I am the solution here and therfore I prevent problems before they Happen as like I am a future preventionist as I the solution as prevention is the cure as therfore We never have to go there as like into extreme reactional consequence as like unfortunate situations that we wish we could have avoided....and the cool thing is with prevention, each of us is capable to avoid extreme reactions un wanted situations by standing as the solution here as physical self responsibility as what is best for all life.
I realise depreession is like hiding self responsibility from self here as the solution as the way to stand up and say till here no further do I accept and allow myself to hold myself down and victimize myself in desiring a saviour of sorts as like separate from myself.
I realise I am my own saviour and therfore I save myself by taking self responsibility for myself and I can do that by working through all my thoughts/reactions/feelings/emotions as like a ball of yarn I am getting back to the starting point on say I can say and live enogh is enough and understand the whole process as like having walked through the whole process of picking myself up as like piecing myself back together because it's like thought by thought by thought I diminished myself here as like every particpation within the thoughts was like a pulling or a pushing on my body that created a spark within me as like a fire as like an energetic friction...and it's like the more and more I stimulated the fire...created the nergy within myself...the more and more I became influenced by myself as like having a body suit ontop of my body as like an energy body....and not realising that this energy body suit is latched onto my physical body like a parasite and I created this parasite a long time ago and therefore I require much dilligence and patience in working through my fused on energy suit as like taking it off is a process because I have invested so much time/energy into creating this energy body suit that moves me and that I believe to be who I really am as a physical being...not realising that I don't really know who I am as a total physical being because I am operating as an energy body at the moment as like consequences buld up.,..and It is important to know that I do realise myself existing beneath an energy body suit and that I recognise that I do exist...yet I have the balls to acknowledge that I do not have full access to the totality of myself as life because I have been existing as less than life as like intelligent design as like eating from the tree of knowledge as good and evil...and reaction by reaction by reaction my mind sotred each reaction within the memory back as like a chain of events...chain of command in cataloguing who I am as energy friction as ego is like me in my energy suit...yet it is just really a persona of who I am and is not in fact the total physical me here.
I realise I gotta fully commit myself to working through myself self created energy suit as automated mind direction that me as a total physical being didn't really want in the first place...yet I particpated in the creation of what I don't want because I didnt really know what I wanted and therfore facillitated passive acceptance and allowance and the creation of the enrgy body suit latched upon my physical body.
I realise the challenge is developping brutal self honesty within myself as like a necessary pre-requisite for walking process of self responsibility in releasing energetic body suit as like the madk/deceptiuon/veil that has been placed over me that I believe I want/desire to particpate within based on repitious patterned behaviour conditioning.
I realise Ive fucked with myself when I accept and allow myself to be pulled and pushed by reactions as thoughts/feelings/emotions
I realise self commitment to stopping accepted and allowed particpation within energy pulls and pushes is a necessary move/action of support in assisting the release of energetic demonic possession as enabling self willed action from and as the depths of my being as like the way home so to speak as like I am in process of getting back to the core of myself here as life...free from influence as pushes and pulles as like manifested polarity friction confilict rooted in separation as abuse and subtraction as less than.
I realise accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for past reactions is a mind fuck because that;s like doing the exact same thing in the present that was done in the past and justifiying the present action because of participation within energetic pull/push as eneregtic reaction to past reaction...as like not allowing self to stop.
I realise fucking with self dishonesty is fucked and is the furthest thing from self honesty....as like choosing to do something that is fucked...knowing choosing to do that somehting is fucked while recognising you are getting pulled and pushed into it as like craving to chase after the curiosity of going there as like believing that will be fulfilling.
I realise the self enabling power of saying no and stopping as like not allowing self to go there as an action of prevention as like avoiding a whole string of events of manifested consequences as like new experiences as energetic friction pulled and pushed as like extorted/sucked/gnarred from the body.
I commit mysel to pushing the point of self prevention as the cure to me as disease here so that I am capable of becoming total physical life here.
I commit myself to allow myself to use my daily writings within journey to life blog to act as like a template/track record of my process of moving through the layers of fusion as like the manifested consequential energy layers within myself that keep me wearing and energetic body suit atop my physical body/
I commit myself to when and as I see that I have given into temptation to forgive myself and stop the judgement and walk the correction accordingly.
I commit myself to not abusing self forgiveness as like an excuse/justification to go into experiences of desire as like temptation that is pulling or pushing on me as energetic potential experiences.
I commit myself to developping great effectiveness in preventing eneregtic polairyt charged experiences.
I commit myself to exposing the fact that depression is a choice and it's a ridiculously absurd choice to make that in any moment can be stopped with the courage and will to change within understanding the statement, "till here no further"
I commit myself to effective detailed communication in releasing myself from suppression as like forms of depression as energetic charges held against myself as reactions/thoughts/feelings.
I commit myself to play with the work involved as the process of self correction through self realisation as like sharing is caring and being an example for myself as the way as I guide myself to myself here as life birthed from the physical as like reaching the depths of my beigness here as like no more masks/disguises/persona's....just me here as the best life as what is best for life as knowing, understanding, realising that the best life is from and as the stating point of equality and oneness as physical agreement here.
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