Day 184 Greed and Dec 21, 2012 Mayan Prophecy

Continuing from my last post, "Day 183 Greed and Dec 21, 2012 Mayan Prophecy"


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted pushing the point of self forgiveness within my previous blog entry.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being interested in Dec 21, 2012 and Mayan Prophecies from the starting point perspective of self interest and greed as like how can I benefit from this information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that I manipulated myself into buying into the Mayn Calendar prophecies as a consequence of accepting and allowing myself existing as the character who is a greedy self righteous mother fucker.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for hoping end of days prophecies to be true and creating belief about end of days prophecies because I hoped they would be true so that my life would have a drastic change without me really having to do anything...and also because I figured that I would be a survivor if shit really hit the fan because I have great survivor skills and therfore I figured I would benefit and prosper from a fucked up end of days scenario.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being interested in end of days scenarios as an opportunity to improve my wealth and hierarchial status positioning on the earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being interested in dec 21, 2012 Mayan Prophecy from the perspective that my university degree would'nt be important and I wouldnt have to really focus on establishing some sort of long term career.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being interested in Mayan Prophecy from the starting point of creating excuses and justifications as acceptances and allowances for me to be lazy and fuck around with my time here and also to assert my self righteousness as ego stroking enhancement of my superior intelligence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for only being concerned with Mayan Prophecy from within a starting point of self interest and how I can benefit my personal interests.

I forgive myelf for accepting and allowing myself for wanting Mayan Prophecies as like cataclysmic events to happen so as to cause chaos throughout the world so that the structures of humanity change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I was becoming more aware and enlightened the more I studied the mayan prophecies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating my perception here as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to exist as a self righteous greedy mother fucker.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the consequences of perception distorment as consequence of a starting point of inequality.

I forgive myself for accpeting and allowing myself for being embarassed and ashamed of myself when I realised I had been buying into beliefs for self interested purposes and that I was deliberately negating my well being by doing so....and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to just tippy toe away from bullshit and not really assist and support anyone who is still possessed within bullshit because than I would be exposed as someone who had bought into bullshit and at the time that seemed to be to devastating to my super huge ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating abuse and separation by manipulating information in ways to project myself outward as extremely intelligent as a being who is intellectually superior to most.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mindfucking myself within my super ego about how great I am and how I gotta save the world because I'm a fucking genius and most people are just soo far below me and thus I am required to exist on an international world stage as a world teacher here explaining shit to my inferiors because I am just so much more naturally intelligent than most beings here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using information about Mayan Prophecy to place myself into super hero status as missioning to save the world...and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting and desiring to save the world from the starting point of greedy self interests as like how much I can benefit and prosper from this attitude as like being different than most beings and to impress women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being obsessed and addicted to manipulating information from the starting point of greedy self righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking about fraudulent ways to cash in on the world system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from and as the world system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing the world systems to be fucked but I am ok.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising/understanding/considering my own accepted and allowed fuckedness within the mind consciousness system as concequence of my particpations within thoughts/feelings/emotionss as like a walking constant time bomb exisiting within and as perpetuated accumulated reactions/explosions/consequences as master blaster producer sprayer emitter of polarized energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for subscribing to the statement, "If I believe, I can achieve" and that, "you gotta believe if you wanna achieve".

I forgive myself for not realising and understand that if I believe I do not know and that believing I know through the power of belief creates a dangerous precedent which seems to be the eptiome of complete and utter mental retardation.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the desire and greedy self righteous self interest with no real regard for consequence that results from accepted and allowed paticpation within beliefs and subscribing to the statement, "if you bellieve, you will achieve"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making believe reality with belief and for creating a positive enrgy about belief and then flip flopping to a neagtive energy about belief when I started questioning my beliefs and seeing the lie within the be-lie-f.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to focus on life within belief and disregarding the lie within belief that makes believe life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to people who were exposing the lie within belief and regarding life because this challenged my belief and put me in a position of self responsibility to wake up from the lie of belief.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to wake up from the lies of make belief reality as mental masturbation as constantly following the story on the trains of thought as the narrator who repeats the narration aloud as like acting out a script with the accepted and allowed feeling or emotion self defined conflict/friction confusion discrepancy of understanding and self realisation here.

I forgive myself for not realising that I've been the life within belief and I forgive myself for disregarding how I've deceived myself as life here by becoming the lie within belief as a being who manipulated life to create a F LIE as like a fly caught in the head lights chasing after the artificial projection as the F LIE as the Fucking Lie by accepting and allowing myself to exist here as sex and to be a fucker here who was fucking around in ways that were less than the best fucking because I didn't consider or care about who I was fucking which is ironic because I was always fucking myself as I was always faced with my mirror reflection and I constantly disrgearded and degreaded myself as consequence of particpating within and as addiction to polarized energy which can only exist as an abusive consequence as a debt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how I have perpetuated debt as abuse and suffering by playing make belief within my mind and therfore totally disregarding my physical hereness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for waiting to forgive myself.



To be continued in next post