It's easy to be interested in end of days prophecies when you are a greedy self righteous mother fucker.
I started looking at Mayan Calendar info about dec 21, 2012 in fall of 2007. End of times prophecy sounded cool to me as like this would mean a great change is happening. I was looking for great change in my life. I wasn't really too consercened with anything that was happening in my world...like I was totally self absorbed within myself... I mean I was interested in understanding the why and how everything is the way it is...at the same time...I was sitting on my self appointed throne of righteousness as a superior enlightened being because I was believing in my greateness and besteness since I was a young child.
I considered getting as many credit cards as I could and maxing them all out at the same time...with no intention of paying them back because I wanted to believe in end of times prophecies for my greedy self interests. Also, focusing attention on prophecy predictions allowed me to not have to focus on having to plan anf facilitate a successful career because I could see the insider information about how life as we know it was going to change due to planetary alignment and basically I was on a mission to save the world as one of the super duper enlightened beings here that knows everything because I can always make an answer up to suit my self interested greedy self righteousness...and if I believe, I can achieve.
Fortunately I was also checking out Desteni in the fall of 2007 which acted as like a reality check and basically assisted me with not going off the deepend into the whole enlightenment trap of love and light bullshit.
However I still did not realize the extent of my brainwashing/programming as a self interested greedy self righteous mother fucker. lol. And so, Desteni's practical tools of assistance and support that is suggested to test for yourself within daily application was a challenge I had to try...however...it was difficult for me to really push myself within my writings because the more I wrote...the more I was able to see how fucked up I'd been throughout my life as like just operating on belief and following trains of thought and using feelings and emotions as my intuitional guide...and wow all sorts of reactions as intense emotional and feeling experiences were happening...it's like I acted out so much energeticaly charged shit that I really began to see how I was perpetuating thoughts/feelings/emotions within myself as time looping mind fucks.
I will continue within next post
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