Day 744 - Doing Fucked Up Shit Because Authority Said So

Are you familiar with the Milgram experiment?  Click the link to read about how average people will kill people because Authority told them so.

To watch a video showcasing the influence and susceptibility of humans to following along with bad advice because an Authority figure told them so...See this Derren Brown Video on the Milgram Experiment. 

Who are the the firs main points of Authority in you Life?

Your Parents

Have you ever asked yourself what qualified your parents to be Parents?

Should you have to qualify to be a parent?

Did you trust in your parents as a child?

Do you see any parallel's with how society is structured with various institutions of Authority?

See, Parents, Government, Medical Profession, Doctors, Scientists, Teachers, Lawyers, Judges, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Police/Military, Media, Celebrities, Popular Journals/Magazines, and Television

Did you know that when you seek the support and assistance of a Professional in any of the above fields of expertise...the support is but a Professional Opinion. Meaning that based upon the knowledge and information they have collected...the believe a particular way forward to be the best for you.  This doesn't mean that it is true or not true. It means that is an Opinion as to what you should do based upon how the were in fact giving professional opinions about what they should do...and now they have been trained to give those opinions as an occupation based upon following and abiding by so many previous opinions.

What I find interesting here is the point of Trust.  Where thee is often a rational justification to believe what You hear to be true or worthy of your attention because someone who within our world society is defined as being an Authority on Knowledge and Information within that particular field of study.

Is it possible that nobody really knows much about anything and that we have been for a very long time...perpetuating a conditioned behavior response where we mimic our elders and so trust/believe them and shape our Life as a result of what they have said.  How valid is anything that has ever been said, when you consider that so much of whatever has been said, has been regurgitated from somewhere else that was passed on and carried on because of the Trust within the person who said it so.

Are we programmed and conditioned from an early age to make sense of non-sense?

Would you dare to really consider the possibility that who you are today is something totally different than Who You would be if You didn't ever make sense of non-sense...I mean,  trust or believe anyone ever and that for anything to hold true, the point would actually require to be verifiable through self-testing and cross-referencing? A measure of Self-Authorization if You will. What have we Self-Authorized here that is totally fucked up. Who's responsible for the whackness Here?

Maybe this is not the most practical approach...or is it? Does it mean that in order to know that fire is hot you must get burned by the fire? The answer is no. Becoming introduced to Fire for example, you will see and feel the warm of the fire...You do not require to touch the fire to know it is Hot. What about that Fire can burn your skin? if one person is burned by fire as a result of making a mistake and getting to close to the fire, Everyone is able to learn from that mistake and see the consequence of that action....that if you are too close for too long to the fire, You will get burned.

Have You really considered the design of Education in our world? Typically beginning by the parents in the home...and then when you leave the home and go to school....and, every other person encounter.

What is also fascinating is that much of the exchanges of information that take place...come as like forms of commands...where somebody is Telling someone something...often it is an Opinion...which in a way is really a form of gossip...as like the spreading of Wild Fire....and it spreads and spreads and spreads...as you share what they said...and they share what they said...and all the while...just kind of operating within and as this perpetuating infections disease in a way....where most of the information that is being exchanged is not of the best benefit to anyone.

Is it any wonder that we are familiar with words like Rape, Molestation, Poverty, Murder, Torture, Punishment, War, Famine, Starvation, Suffering, Disease, Disability, Deceit, Deception, Slavery, Prisoner, Prison, Military, Weapons, Abuse, Fraud, Terrorism, Enemy, Fighting, Survival, Combat, Defense, Offense, Guns, Slaughter, Profit, 3rd World, Sweatshop, Injustice, Crime, Psychopath, Convict.....and the list goes on....

We are directly and indirectly supporting such conditioned behaviors/environments/circumstances as result of how we are accepting Authority to exist here. When you think of AUTHORITY, Do you think of Yourself First and Foremost...or is the point/words separate from You as like the examples I gave above as particular points of "recognized established Authorities"?

Is it interesting to consider and regard that in order to stop the rampant wild fire here, we need to actualize ourselves here as Self-Authority and Question the knowledge and information we have subscribed to whether passively or actively...because We are on Fire here...and The Fire is Burning up the Earth.  Is this Hell? Have we become in such denial that we would not believe and know what Hell on Earth is despite being slowly burnt alive?

Let Manifest Heaven on Earth Forever, Wouldn't that be better than Hell on Earth? Are things in Reverse? Each is the Author in the Creation of Heaven On Earth Here. Note, this does not mean You create your own little bubble Heaven where everything is all good for you...is a start sure....but what about everyone else....is this a competition where some get Heaven at the expense of many getting Hell. What kind of fucked up game/idea is that?

Lets Share the Best of Ourselves Here, and Question what the fuck is going On and ask ourselves what the fuck are we really doing to ourselves as Everything Here?


"It's Hell on Earth, Whose Next or Going to Be First" Mobb Deep, Hell On Earth, from the Album HELL ON EARTH


Oh, did I mention that the Authority is You and has Always All Ways Been You?

So about all that Fucked up Shit....

Day 621 Information Application

Information without application is useless.

What's interesting is that sometimes I've allowed the information that exists within me be used in application that is less than the best application. 

Basically using information in some instances to create a justification...like correlating specific information that comes up within my mind as a reason why I do not have to stick to my plan of action...as like believing that it is OK for me to flake on my initially planning. What is fascinating about this is that it is self-dishonest....where my self-direction is compromised within giving credence to new information that came up within my mind as a particular feeling/emotion about continuing to follow through with my plan of action.

What's interesting here is that the new information that just pops up in my mind as feeling/emotion and as a push/pull argument sort of things as like an attempted persuasion to misdirect my planned self-direction...is that the information isn't really new...it's reflects points of information that I have within myself that is related to this particular point...and so...in a way this is really cool...because my mind reveals to me my own weakness...which is cool...because the weakness can be utilized as a point of support and assistance in strength training the resolve necessary to stick to a plan that is designed as a cool point of support and assistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how to utilize all the information that exists within myself in ways that support and assist myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my inherited weaknesses have been used as a point of self-sabotage to influence my execution of specific planned self-movements in particular moments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving credence to the thought/feeling/emotions that comes up within my mind that persuades me from my specifically planned course of action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that when I am being persuaded by the thoughts/feelings/emotions that come up within my mind to change my course of direction..that there is a point of self-reflection here...as like my mind shows and reveals to me where I have information acceptances and allowances within myself that require to be forgiven and worked/walked through as the practical living physical self-correction.


To Be Continued

Day 609 Emotional Attachment to Money Self-corrections

When and as I see myself having an emotional attachment towards money, I stop and breathe and say, 'I am here', I see/realize/understand the impracticality and detrimental reliance upon having a an emotional attachment towards money. I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to have an emotional attachment to money. I commit myself to having a physical relationship with money within and as the self-realization that money exists as a primary point of assistance and support for my well being here.


When and as I see myself existing within a polarized relationship with money where I am being competitive from and as the perspective of existing in a win/loss relationship with money, I stop and breathe and say 'I am here'. I see/realize/understand the absurd ridiculousness of having a polarized relationship within and as my relationship to money. I commit myself to equalizing my relationship with money to existing within and as a win/win relationship. I commit myself to utilize my relationship with money as a point of assistance and support.



When and as I see myself desiring to have more money and fearing to lose all my money, I stop and breathe and say 'I am here'. I see/realize/understand the absurd ridiculousness of of existing within and as energetic highs and lows within relationship to money. I see/realize/understand that it is in no way supportive for myself to exist within an energetic relationship towards money. I see/realize/understand how it is equally ridiculously absurd to exist in a positiveenergetically charged relationship towards money, as it is to exist within a negative energetically charged relationship towards money. I commit myself to stop allowing even a brief moment of energetic friction to exist within and as my relationship to money here. I direct myself to stop suppressing my potential within and as the practical living of and as the word money.



when and as I see myself thinking to make decisions from and as a starting point of fearing to lose all my money, and or desiring to make more money, I stop and breathe, I say, "I am here". I see/realize/understand the impracticality and the absurd ridiculousness of making decisions from the starting point of fear of losing all my money and or the the desire to make lots of money. I commit myself to making practical decisions that are in the best interest of supporting myself as All as One as Equal here. I commit myself to making decisions from within and as a point of personal self-responsibility. I commit myself to stop fearing money. I commit myself to stop desiring money. I commit myself to taking on more responsibility with money, I see/realize/understand the correlation with money and self-responsibility. I commit myself to to self-movement within and as the point of self-responsibility here.


When and as I see myself defining my physical comfort in relationship to how much money is in my bank account, I stop and breathe and I say, "I am here". I see/realize/understand how ridiculously absurd and irrational it is to go through experiences of emotional highs and lows within having more or less money than I previously did. I commit myself to stop stressing my physical body about money. I commit myself to stabilizing my physical body relationship with money. I commit myself to self-correcting a point within a moment where I see my relationship to money is out of alignment as Oneness and Equality. I see/realize/understand the danger/abuse within charging up words with emotion and feeling as I see/realize/understand how this is in fact causes stress/strain/tension upon my physical body. I commit myself to stop straining/stressing and putting added tension on my physical body as a result of accepting and allowing words to exist within myself from within and as a starting point of disharmony. I see/realize/understand how and why words can exist within and as a point of disharmony. I see/realize/understand how and why words can exist within and as Life Harmony Here. I see/realize/understand how and why it is a point of self-responsibility within and as how I Live/Express/Accept Words to exist within myself. I commit myself to living/expressing Life Harmony.



When and as I see myself limiting my practical living creative expression within garnering an emotional attachment to money, I stop and breathe, I say, "I am Here". I see realize/understand that my ability to direct my practical living from within and as a point of what is best for all Life is self-sabotaged within accepting and allowing myself to garner an emotional attachment to money. I direct myself to let go of an emotional attachment to money. I commit myself to stop garnering an emotional attachment to money. I commit myself to sharing/exposing the absurd ridiculousness of garnering an emotional attachment to money.

To Be Continued

Day 544 Stupid Conditioning Part 2

Continuing from my previous blog post, Day 543 Stupid Conditioning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging and defining my student as stupid based upon their learning ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how fucked it is to judge anyone's learning capacity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blaming my student within and as the justification of stupidity and being slow witted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deflecting/abdicating self-responsibility within my duty of care for my students within accepting and allowing myself to form judgments about them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting/abdicating myself-responsibility to life as the duty of care to always exist within and as the starting point of response abilities that are best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for calling my student stupid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing stupidity to exist within my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself ofr having justified and validated stupidity and slow wittiness. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mask insight and practical living clarity within good intentions and desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blinding myself within good intentions and desires as a point of self-interest as separate from all Life as what is best for all Life.

When and as I see myself forming a judgement about one of my students, I stop and breathe, I let go of the judgement/formed impression about the student, I realize and understand the detrimental consequence within accepting and allowing myself to to exist within the parameters of judgment. I realize and understand the practical assistance and support can only be garnered within a starting point of oneness and equality. I realize and understand myself-responsibility to exist within the starting point of Equality and Oneness.

When and as I see myself having a judgement pop up within my head about someone, I stop and breathe, I delete the judgement, apply self forgiveness, Face the point of self-reflection as the self-realization of the point coming up within me is indicative of what I have been accepting and allowing myself to exist as. I realize and understand my effectiveness within our shared reality can only be as effective as the relationship I create with myself. I realize and understand If I accept anything less than what is best for myself....I am in fact compromising and suppressing my ability to have the best relationships with others beings. I realize and understand the point of oneness and equality as the same image and likeness. I commit myself to doing everything possible to insure that I have the best relationship with myself. I commit myself to have the best relationships with all Life here. I commit myself to stopping judgement.

When and as I see myself dwelling within a judgement I stop and breathe, I realize I have missed the point of self direction here and that I am required to stand as the living example/solution as my own remedy by enabling myself to create a path of self-corrective measures/directions as to enable myself to stop the perpetuation of problems/conflict and friction within myself. I realize and understand how self reflection works within opening the doors of self-forgiveness and self realization within bring all point back within myself as myself here as the starting point of creation/Oneness and Equality.

I commit myself to standing as the living example/solution as my own remedy to problems within my shared reality.

I commit myself to giving myself the best education.

I commit myself to becoming one and equal with and as the best educators here.

I commit myself to self-perfection. 


To be Contin

Day 535 Why Do I Resist Things? Part 2

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to confuse myself within accepted and allowed conflict towards self-responsibilities and social activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself within social activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making the taking of self-responsibility to be a difficult task.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to make self-responsibility a difficult decision.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for delaying self-responsibility out of fear of being specific, precise and direct within every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to move myself out of an energetic funk as like wanting to remain within an energetic experience of lethargic laziness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced and controlled by a heaviness energetic experience within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself within moving myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing not having enough free time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having justified inaction on account that I am feeling lazy and lethargic.

When and as I see myself resisting to do things because I am experiencing a heaviness energy within myself, like laziness and lethargy, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand that I am capable and able to move beyond such self imposed limitations/restraints. I direct myself to move into the point that I had resistance towards moving into. I do not accept and allow myself to be controlled and regulated by a heaviness energetic experience within myself.

When and as I see myself judging my decisions with how I have allotted my time, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of belittling myself with self-judgment. I realize and understand that it is not practical for me to place and hold judgements against myself.

I commit myself to stop victimizing myself within self-judgment.

I commit myself to realizing and understanding that I am not limited to how I am experiencing myself within a moment.

I commit myself to trust myself within removing resistance from within myself.

I commit myself to trust myself within making decisions about whether to socialize or whether to spend time by myself.

I commit myself to balancing my private alone time and my public social time.

I commit myself to stop making self-responsible decisions difficult.

I commit myself to stop judging and comparing myself to my peers.

When and as I see myself judging and comparing myself to my peers, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the separation within self-judgment, I realize and understand that there is no practical reason for me to judge and compare myself to my peers. I realize judging and comparing myself to my peers breeds separation and I am interested in removing accepted and allowed separation within myself.

I commit myself to purify my existence by removing accepted and allowed separation that exists within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand that resisting things is a result of accepting and allowing fear to regulate/dictate/control the functionality of myself. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of limiting myself within choosing to accept and allow myself to be regulated, controlled, and dictated by fear within myself.

I commit myself to assessing myself within self-honesty to see if I am being influenced by fear energies within myself.

When and as I see myself being influenced in my decision making by fear, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand how fear exists as the acceptance and allowance of resistance to change/self-direction and that it is myself responsibility to release myself from the shackles of fear that I created as programmed self imposed limitations.

I commit myself to transcending fear restraints.

I commit myself to facing my fears with self-honesty and self trust.

I commit myself to stop trying to avoid fear.

I commit myself to stop trying to escape fear.

I commit myself to look for points of fear within myself as a practical way to see and realize how I am able to expand my abilities here within facing my fears and transcending them

I commit myself to transcending programmed fears.

I commit myself to walking through fears/resistance in physical reality.

Day 514 Branding and Marketing Stigmatization

Continued from previous blogs. Quote here from initial blog on "branding and marketing":

"With the word Stigmatization coming up I reflect back to elementary school and I recall not getting invited to this girl's birthday party that was a boy/girl party in like grade 5 or 6 where pretty much every body in the grade at the school was invited but I wasn't invited because I had been exploring body parts with this particular girl a little while earlier...and the girl's mother found out and told my parents....and this was made to be this big deal and secret bad thing that wasn't to be talked about...and I was regarded as a bad apple/influence by the girl's mother...and thus I was outcasted from going to this boy/girl party where there would be things happening like spin the bottle and getting locked in the closet.   Anyways, I was kinda sad/disappointed about not being allowed to go to party...but I at that age accepted that I was the bad apple...and believed to understand why I couldn't go because the girls mom feared me as being a bad influence.

I see how I spawned the attitude from there that I am too cool, like too cool to be allowed to socialize with all my peers all the time because I'm such a strong influence...and a strong influence is an influence to be feared."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for marketing and branding stigmatization.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stigmatize myself within spawning the attitude that I am too cool, like to cool to be allowed to socialize with all my peers all the time because I'm such a strong influence...and a strong influence is an influence to be feared.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding on to such fear within myself that I projected the image of superiority as a false front imagined belief to make believe reality as a result of being petrified of facing the actuality of my accepted and allowed physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to comfort myself and make myself feel good within an unpleasant situation of being outcasted by my peers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to create comfort within myself through the belief of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from myself through the make belief of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for coping with disappointment within myself by creating a logical-self manipulation as my reasoned justifications of why things are happening the way they are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing for justifying self-stigmatization.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for subscribing to the belief and judgement of another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make sense out of belief and judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to distort my perception of reality within making sense of things though judgement and belief.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how a memory that happened so early on within my Life could have had an influence on me up till today.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to be a good influence within accepting and allowing myself to exist as a bad influence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a bad influence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am a bad influence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for opting out of participation within particular activities from the perspective of I'm too cool to associate within that particular activity or environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining so many activities as less cool than me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging people extensively for participation within activities that I don see as being cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging people as like where there at and what they are doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for avoiding to look at myself and see what I am accepting and allowing that is not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto a friction within myself as a result of avoiding to correct the acceptances and allowances within myself that are not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto points within myself that are not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating separation within myself as like conflicting my perception of cool as a result of accepted and allowed self-judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blocking myself access to really understanding the totality of myself as cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to be cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deciding that I can't be cool all the time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fragmenting my coolness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making being cool a point of conditionality as like under only certain circumstances and contexts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing the unconditional expression of cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to censor myself as cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing that others will not be able to handle me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to handle myself within situations where I am required to stand within and as stability as the point/example of self-direction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing people not understanding my expression in particular moments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself expression in particular moments where I do not receive positive feedback and re-enforcement for my expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for assuming that no positive feedback for a particular situation is a form of negative feedback...as like believing that saying nothing is worse than saying something...saying nothing is like the worst review/feedback possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging no feedback on particular situations as like a form of receiving extensive negative judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to receive lots of positive feedback from my peers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking for positive feedback and re-enforcement of my particular expressions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking offense to not receiving feedback on my particular expressions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing negative judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing negative feedback/criticism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing no criticism as being worse than any publicly expressed negative criticism and or judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire negative criticism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel good when I receive positive criticism and bad when I receive negative or no criticism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being dependent upon others for self-validation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing my worthiness is determined by the attention I get from others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting high off of receiving attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for experiencing a low off of receiving little attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing within low experiences and trying to get and remain in a high energetic experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being an energy whore within experiences as like always trying to channel a particular experience and making something more out of a particular physical moment of expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing moments of physical self-expression within creating definitions of self-judgement within particular moments...as like having a particular reaction within a moment which can exist within and as the form of a thought that comes up within my mind, and or a feeling or emotion that comes up within me...whether it seems to be triggered by a thought...or it comes up as a result of me being triggered by something within my environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be triggered by things within my environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extensive amount of assistance and support I have within my environment within seeing and realizing the triggers that exist within my environment are in fact the teachers here to support me in facing myself...as every point that triggers activity/reaction within my consciousness is a gifted opportunity for me to see the point of accepted and allowed manifested separation within myself as like a point of self-suppression...and that I can correct the situation in the moment...and piece myself back together as a point of expanding myself awareness here as like a point of increasing my presence/life force essence as my ability to exist here within and as physicality.




To Be Continued

Day 484 Daily Blogging and Vlogging

The support that we are able to give to ourselves and others within blogging and vlogging is tremendous. Our words are seeds of support and assistance.  I know our days can be quite hectic with a jam packed schedule of time managed responsibilities and obligations.  What I do also know, is that even in a very busy day/week it is possible to have a few moments to write something down and or record some sharing words of support. The internet is an amazing thing we have here as global platform for all of us to come together. I mean, the words you share here, who knows who you may support and assist.  Our words are impacting change and influence. Our words are the building blocks of creation. Obviously it is cool to share the building blocks of creation with one another. Self-expansion is possible through sharing as a point of working and walking together.  Our words are a point of feedback for one another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the practical point in sharing my words daily through blogging and vlogging as the gift I would like to receive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made excuses and justifications as to why I am not blogging and vlogging.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to see the practicality in daily vlogging.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself having neglected to make time for blogging/vlogging.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that it's better for me not to blog or vlog at all if I don't have a lot of time available on a particular day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I write/speak a big amount of words or I don't speak/write at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting the significance of a few words.

When and as I see myself making excuses and justifications as reasons I am considering within my mind as why I am not able to blog and or vlog today, I stop and breathe, I see and realise the ridiculously absurd limitation I am creating within my mind as a point of self sabotage. I realise and understand that I could make a vlog while travelling, or even taking a shit....I mean I realize I could take 2-5 minutes out of my day to record a video.  I realize I could take another 2 minutes later in the day to post the video.  I realize I could write a blog...or open up the beginning of a blog in a 5 minute window... i mean... I realize and see the possibility of utilizing my time....I realize I could put a blog together throughout the day...by taking 5, 5 minute breaks to compromise a blog of 25 minutes of labor.  I realize there is so many ways for me to make it possible for me to share a daily blog and vlog. I realize I could write and or record a blog/vlog or a couple and post them at another time. I realize there is so many ways possible to effectively manage the time to share words of assistance and support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to realise and understand that there is so many ways for me to be creative in sharing words of assistance and support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the tremendous value within sharing words of support on the internet.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the internet as like a global historical track record of and as our global positioning/stance as a daily reflection of who and how we are here within and as the living words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for negating myself-responsibility within and as the living words.

I commit myself to utilizing the internet as a platform of assistance and support as a place to make and create a historical track record of my sharing process of living words of assistance and support as I journey to life.

I commit myself to giving as I like to receive.

I commit myself to receiving as I like to give.

I commit myself to writing and vlogging.

I commit myself to living the significance of words.

I commit myself to sharing words.

I commit myself to enjoying the process of sharing words.

I commit myself to encouraging others to share their words.

Day 435 Menace to Society

This Young kid asked me if I had a cellphone that he could use. This was at night time while I was cutting through a park while walking my dog.  I had just  heard the kid/maybe teenager if his friend had a lighter…I was thinking to myself that they were going to smoke a joint…as this was something I use to do and just the general impression I got from the kids who were kind of loitering in the park after in the dark.  I said sorry to the kid as I pulled out my phone and was about to make a phone call.  I thought to myself…I don’t want to lose my cell phone cuz this kid runs off with it…I don’t want to have to chase this kid down because he tries to steal my phone…after I said sorry I felt pretty bad…like I had free minutes and I could have potentially helped this kid out…like maybe he really needed some help…and I thought after how I could of said that I’d make the call and put it on speaker phone for him or something…inform him that I’m concerned that he might try and run off with my phone.

Why is it that I thought that this kid might run off with my phone? Well, it’s something that I've done before…and I've done other similar brutal things…and I’, ashamed for having been so disrespectful to myself and others as like having participated in countless acts where I did not consider myself and others as Life equals both being here without conflict/friction…it’s like so much so the attitude perception I had a kid/teenager/young adult has been that it’s all about me…I got to do whatever I can for me…and taking care of me the way I want to be taken care of may come at the expense of others…as I really didn't consider others to much…it’s like I would be nice to others most of the time…though it was easy for me to not be nice to someone if I didn't know them per se…as like it was a justification/excuse that I could act in inappropriate ways and disregard common courtesy etiquette as like the teachings of Jesus as love thy neighbor as thy self.

 I see how I rationalized, logically manipulating both sides of the same coin with regards to exploiting/taking advantage of others around me, whether it be people I know very well or people I don’t really know at all…it’s like my perception attitude was that of opportunity to feed and fulfill desired self-interests…as like how I could utilise another being for my service…or how I could capitalize on the service of another…as like getting something without giving anything...and I see the point that throughout time…I became totally oblivious to the actuality of my actions and the consequences of my actions…like I can recall many instances of automated negligent behaviour…and I can recall looking back at particular instances and being like what the fuck was I doing…why did I even do that…I didn't even realise what the fuck I was doing…it’s like in no way was I moving within a point of stability…but in an energetic hypnotic trance fueled by the desire to feed addiction to doing and getting what I feel like…as my actions were always based on feelings…like chasing after the win…or trying to maintain the winning experience of getting my way as a result of being a menace to society.

It’s interesting that I say menace to society…because I own that movie…and it’s one that I picked up as a teenager or maybe my early twenties…though there is many other similar movies that I fersure watched in my teenage years that I see now played an influence on me being a shit disturber. A movie that sticks out is ‘dazed and confused’

To be continued