Day 718 - Removing the Ego from Greatness, the Grounding Process

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the point of big ego as a result of having good results within particular points of sharing/performance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thirsting for the recognition as the praise within a job well done as like mastery in execution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mentally masturbate accepted and allowed suppression into a transmuted experience of Superiority that feels so good from the perspective of getting myself high within and as my very own self-induced trite.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the psychic vampirism within and as the accepted and allowed big ego reaction as getting high as a result of the actions/responses others share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking the ultimate life and living is within and as the established status position within the world system as recognized fame and fortunate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying the inferiority which fuels the attitude of ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the self-righteousness within ego as like believing that I am entitled to a positive high energetic buzz.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the pain and trauma as the self-inflicted self-abuse that exists within and as the reactionary play out of ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for bouncing around in reactionary polarity play as character personifications as either big or small ego...based upon the judgement of sizing myself up in relationship to others here as my ego competition for ultimate supremacy here as like the KingOfTheCastle, the One Winner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted to examine the reactionary positive energy high or big/super ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing the solidarity here as the relationship with all my peers here as the various reflections of myself as One and Equal as Everything here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a dissonance within myself as an ego personality that is incomplete that cannot relate to all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying the abuse of greed as ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being self-righteous in fighting for my very own limitation as the result of being defensive in relationship to other ego's here/

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating in sports and activities from the starting point of ego as like the encouragement of dissonance within myself for the potential moment of bliss that may result from existing as the great one winner for a brief moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard all Life here within and as a result of being preoccupied with my own ego status in relationship to others ego status.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thrive of the misfortune of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being blinded within positive energy participation as a like a form of mental masturbation into a daze,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stumble and fumble around within a haze of positive energy feelings of disregard for the actually status and state of World affairs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing accounting responsibility for myself as an able bodied being that is here that can support the stopping of bullshit here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the propagated ego hero character that exists within our world that is like the status acceptance and allowance agreement that abusing life for an experience is is what this world is all about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for just wanting to be a part of the big ego story here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring and regarding to be well accepted and regarded by others as a result of doubting myself and believing that I can only trust myself if I have the trust of many others believing in me.  I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how fake this believed trust to be, when one rationalizes one's very own state of mind from a starting point of dissonance in relationship to Everything here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowiing myself to encourage the continuation of cognitive dissonance in our shared world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limiting my potential expressions here within the justification that it feels good to win at the expense of another feeling bad in loosing and that is just the way things are...so the decision is either abuse or be abused. I realize the absurd ridiculousness of the mentality of apathy, lack of self-trust, lack of self-confidence, and the lack of empathy and remorse.

When and as I see myself going into a energetic high experience in and as reaction to receiving positive feedback, I stop and breathe, I see the specifics of the point that exists as a dissonance within myself...I forgive myself for accepting and allowing such a dissonance to exist inside myself as the acceptance of myself as less than life here. I realign myself as self-regard as I care to make sure I effectively remove the contamination in my vocabulary and within this I reestablish the terms of agreement here as what is best for all life from the starting point of myself existence here as Oneness and Equality.  I realize and understand I am in the midst of the birthing process of myself actualization here as All as One as Equal. I commit myself to the humbling gratitude in seeing/realizing and physically learning to stand and walk and move in always that are best for all of Life here.

I commit myself to stopping apathy.

I commit myself to living self-trust.

I commit myself to living self-confidence.

I commit myself to empathy.

I commit myself to compassion and remorse.

I realize the practical application of not allowing myself to be consumed within any point, because that is not practical in supporting my ability to live responsibility here.

I commit myself to exposing the ridiculousness of the ego games here.

I commit myself to educate on the character dynamics of ego.

I commit myself to stop perpetuating our culture of psychic vampirism.

I commit myself to removing the ego from Greatness and grounding myself within the earth here as commitment to Life.

Day 648 - Come Petition...Calm Petition...Competition

Competition sounds like "Come Petition...and Calm Petition."

If your look at Competition from a starting point of "Participation" and "Performance", You can see that Stellar Participation and Performance is Synonymous with being/becoming "Calm".

It's interesting to notice how errors and mistakes mostly happen within a momentary blip of losing one's cool as being all together Calm Cool and Collected.

This "Calmness" I speak of here, is without conflict and is rooted in the equality and oneness of sound stability Here. No emotion and or feeling need exist because the Awesomeness of Physical Self Expression is a Performance and Participation Here beyond the veils and limitations of any and all emotion and feeling.

Emotion and Feeling is the Mind Fuck of Competition which yields less than Stellar results.

Justifying emotion and feeling within Competition perpetuates an indefinite defeat. The irony here is that there is only ever Self-defeat...and it is always all ways Self-Induced.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having previously correlated Competition with the highs and lows of feelings and emotions...and within this...associated the high feelings with winning and the low emotions with losing...and within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the absurd ridiculousness of self-inducing a mind fuck in regards to the word "competition".

I forgive myself for accepting and and allowing myself for perpetuating conflict within myself as a result of and as the way I accepted and allowed the word "Competition" to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted to take the time to investigate my relationship within and as "Competition"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how Competition enhances and accelerates self-reflection/self-development/self-perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for negating the creative construction of and as the word "Competition".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the starting point of Competition existing beyond any emotion and or feeling. I see/realize and understand the self-trust/self-honesty/self-forgiveness required to effectively live the word "Competition" as a physical self-expression of Who, How, and Why I am Here.

When and as I see myself looking to justify fear within competition, I stop and breathe, I see/realize and understand the self-induced trauma of self-inflicting fear upon myself to invoke particular reactions. I see/realize/understand that I am best able to respond when I do not accept and allow myself to be restrained in fear.

When and as I see myself starting to take pleasure in another's misfortune, I stop and breathe, I see/realize and understand how Sportsmanship, Integrity and Humbleness are synonymous within and as the practical living application of the word "Competition".

Day 435 Menace to Society

This Young kid asked me if I had a cellphone that he could use. This was at night time while I was cutting through a park while walking my dog.  I had just  heard the kid/maybe teenager if his friend had a lighter…I was thinking to myself that they were going to smoke a joint…as this was something I use to do and just the general impression I got from the kids who were kind of loitering in the park after in the dark.  I said sorry to the kid as I pulled out my phone and was about to make a phone call.  I thought to myself…I don’t want to lose my cell phone cuz this kid runs off with it…I don’t want to have to chase this kid down because he tries to steal my phone…after I said sorry I felt pretty bad…like I had free minutes and I could have potentially helped this kid out…like maybe he really needed some help…and I thought after how I could of said that I’d make the call and put it on speaker phone for him or something…inform him that I’m concerned that he might try and run off with my phone.

Why is it that I thought that this kid might run off with my phone? Well, it’s something that I've done before…and I've done other similar brutal things…and I’, ashamed for having been so disrespectful to myself and others as like having participated in countless acts where I did not consider myself and others as Life equals both being here without conflict/friction…it’s like so much so the attitude perception I had a kid/teenager/young adult has been that it’s all about me…I got to do whatever I can for me…and taking care of me the way I want to be taken care of may come at the expense of others…as I really didn't consider others to much…it’s like I would be nice to others most of the time…though it was easy for me to not be nice to someone if I didn't know them per se…as like it was a justification/excuse that I could act in inappropriate ways and disregard common courtesy etiquette as like the teachings of Jesus as love thy neighbor as thy self.

 I see how I rationalized, logically manipulating both sides of the same coin with regards to exploiting/taking advantage of others around me, whether it be people I know very well or people I don’t really know at all…it’s like my perception attitude was that of opportunity to feed and fulfill desired self-interests…as like how I could utilise another being for my service…or how I could capitalize on the service of another…as like getting something without giving anything...and I see the point that throughout time…I became totally oblivious to the actuality of my actions and the consequences of my actions…like I can recall many instances of automated negligent behaviour…and I can recall looking back at particular instances and being like what the fuck was I doing…why did I even do that…I didn't even realise what the fuck I was doing…it’s like in no way was I moving within a point of stability…but in an energetic hypnotic trance fueled by the desire to feed addiction to doing and getting what I feel like…as my actions were always based on feelings…like chasing after the win…or trying to maintain the winning experience of getting my way as a result of being a menace to society.

It’s interesting that I say menace to society…because I own that movie…and it’s one that I picked up as a teenager or maybe my early twenties…though there is many other similar movies that I fersure watched in my teenage years that I see now played an influence on me being a shit disturber. A movie that sticks out is ‘dazed and confused’

To be continued