Day 654 Forgiveness and Surprise

It's always interesting to see what can open up and develop when we utilize our potential .



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having neglected to to face problematic issues in moments because the outcome of such a situation is not certain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within fearing uncertainty. I see/realize and understand how ridiculous it is to accept and allowed uncertainty to exist as an excuse/reason/justification for non action within creating/developing solutions that are best for all.

I see, realize and understand how adjustments are often made to solutions as the process implementation of solutions/corrections is walked and that initial solutions/self-corrections are not necessarily concrete as the effective implementation of solutions/corrections is a process within space and time like that of concrete/cement which takes time to settle and dry once it's been positioned.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the surprises that often come out of and as a result of taking responsibility for situations of conflict...meaning, that when and as I see there is an opportunity for me to direct a situation of conflict, this in many instances is a cool point of support and assistance that is able to develop and evolve.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having neglected to face every instance of conflict that exists within my mind. I see/realize/understand how allowing a conflict to remain within my mind without immediate direction and response when I in fact see the scope of the situation...is in fact irresponsible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting immediate responsibility for my thoughts/feelings/emotions in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the constant and consistent application of self-responsibility required in working through the depths of my mind.

I see, realize and understand that self-forgiveness is not really effective from the starting point of giving in order to get....even though that as you give to yourself you get to receive....which is really like a bonus in fact....because I see, realize, and understand that self-forgiveness is an actual self-expression we give/create for ourself here because it is a vital necessity within walking the process journey to Life as All as One as Equal.  Self-forgiveness is Self-Responsibility.  Self-Responsibility is Self-Expression. Self-Expression is Self-forgiveness. Sharing is Caring.

I commit myself to Sharing and Caring about myself as All Life Here.

I commit myself to perfecting my ability to live self-responsibilities.

I commit myself to practical living self-responsibility as who/how/why I am here.

I commit myself to daily self-reflection as a learning tool.

When and as I see myself resisting to look at a point, I stop and breathe...I see that this resistance that is coming up within me is actually like an alarm and siren going off within me as like a totally clear indicator that I have a situation within myself that requires and needs immediate attention and direction. I therefore take immediate responsibility for the resistance in the moment and create the solution to the problem/resistance. I see, realize and understand that obviously it is important to always take care when walking/working with resistance and that it is not in fact responsible to create unnecessary risk for individual well being and safety as a point of facing resistance. I see/realize/understand the practicality and common sense applications within working/walking through resistances.

Day 586 Justifying Self-Satifaction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for utilizing the point of self-satisfaction as a coping mechanism as a way in which I could justify that I've done enough and that I do not require to push myself harder.

When and as I see myself using self-satisfaction as a coping mechanism to in a way justify that I've done enough and that therefore validates/creates an excuse/reason for me to not do more, I stop and breathe, I see and the realize the resistance I am creating to doing more within and as a point of self-perfection, I realize and understand justification as a flag point to be aware of as a facet of self-dishonesty. I commit myself to stop creatingexperiences of justification for myself. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of justifying self-satisfaction. I commit myself to stop arguing for my self-imposed limitation within and as justifying my self-satisfaction.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating the experience of self-satisfaction as a positive energetic experience within myself that can be identified as a reward and rewarding.


When and as I see myself making self-satisfaction to be a positive energetic experience that can be identifies as a reward/rewarding, I stop and breathe, I take self-responsibility in releasing myself from and as the positive energetic experience. I commit myself to stop charging up and make believing self-satisfaction to be a positive energetic experience.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the frame of mind and belief that I require to be recognized with rewards because I have completed work/jobs/tasks/activities/performances/achievements/accomplishments.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to exist within the frame of mind and belief that I require to be recognized with rewards because I have completed work/jobs/tasks/activities/performances/achievements/accomplishments, I stop and breathe, I realise and understand the self imposed limitation within and as such a particular mind set as I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of perpetuating energetic friction within myself. I commit myself to investigate any reaction/judgement/energy in relation to the completion of work/jobs/tasks/activities/performances/achievements/accomplishment. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of judging my actions/results with energy. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of perpetuating energetic experiences within myself as a result of judging experiences and desiring particularly positive energetic experiences. I realize and understand that desiring positive energetic experiences is a huge mind fuck because that creates an endless cycle of abuse where energetic conflict continues to build within myself. I commit myself to removing the energetic experiences that exist within myself. I commit myself to daring myself to take care of the positive energetic experiences/reactions that exist within myself. I realize and understand that it is by equally taking self-responsibility for the positive and negative energetic experiences/reactions that exist within my mind that I can in fact equalize my mind here as what is the best Life support.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of making myself believe that I reached the required level of complacency in order to be compliant as a self-righteous superior ego frame of mind and thus I can rest and relax because that is the reward of self-satisfaction that I am kind of like on a vacation because i don't require to push myself to do more because I am self-satisfied and believe I've already done enough.



I commit myself to investigate myself whenever the point of self-satisfaction comes up within myself as a reaction/experience. I commit myself to stop using self-satisfaction as a justification and excuse. I commit myself to preventing superior/inferior ego frame of mind. I commit myself to stop desiring rewards. I commit myself to investigating myself and the experience I have towards receiving rewards. I commit myself to preventing myself from going into an energetic reaction in relation to receiving a reward/recognition for a point of my participation here. When and as I see myself telling myself I've done enough...as a point of reasoning to avoid doing more work/participation within a particular point, I stop and breathe and I push myself to do more work/participation within the particular point I have an obvious resistance to continuing to move myself within. I commit myself to stop avoiding/resisting to do my best work. I commit myself to walk points into completion. I commit myself to prevent giving up on myself.

Day 535 Why Do I Resist Things? Part 2

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to confuse myself within accepted and allowed conflict towards self-responsibilities and social activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself within social activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making the taking of self-responsibility to be a difficult task.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to make self-responsibility a difficult decision.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for delaying self-responsibility out of fear of being specific, precise and direct within every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to move myself out of an energetic funk as like wanting to remain within an energetic experience of lethargic laziness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced and controlled by a heaviness energetic experience within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself within moving myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing not having enough free time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having justified inaction on account that I am feeling lazy and lethargic.

When and as I see myself resisting to do things because I am experiencing a heaviness energy within myself, like laziness and lethargy, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand that I am capable and able to move beyond such self imposed limitations/restraints. I direct myself to move into the point that I had resistance towards moving into. I do not accept and allow myself to be controlled and regulated by a heaviness energetic experience within myself.

When and as I see myself judging my decisions with how I have allotted my time, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of belittling myself with self-judgment. I realize and understand that it is not practical for me to place and hold judgements against myself.

I commit myself to stop victimizing myself within self-judgment.

I commit myself to realizing and understanding that I am not limited to how I am experiencing myself within a moment.

I commit myself to trust myself within removing resistance from within myself.

I commit myself to trust myself within making decisions about whether to socialize or whether to spend time by myself.

I commit myself to balancing my private alone time and my public social time.

I commit myself to stop making self-responsible decisions difficult.

I commit myself to stop judging and comparing myself to my peers.

When and as I see myself judging and comparing myself to my peers, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the separation within self-judgment, I realize and understand that there is no practical reason for me to judge and compare myself to my peers. I realize judging and comparing myself to my peers breeds separation and I am interested in removing accepted and allowed separation within myself.

I commit myself to purify my existence by removing accepted and allowed separation that exists within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand that resisting things is a result of accepting and allowing fear to regulate/dictate/control the functionality of myself. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of limiting myself within choosing to accept and allow myself to be regulated, controlled, and dictated by fear within myself.

I commit myself to assessing myself within self-honesty to see if I am being influenced by fear energies within myself.

When and as I see myself being influenced in my decision making by fear, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand how fear exists as the acceptance and allowance of resistance to change/self-direction and that it is myself responsibility to release myself from the shackles of fear that I created as programmed self imposed limitations.

I commit myself to transcending fear restraints.

I commit myself to facing my fears with self-honesty and self trust.

I commit myself to stop trying to avoid fear.

I commit myself to stop trying to escape fear.

I commit myself to look for points of fear within myself as a practical way to see and realize how I am able to expand my abilities here within facing my fears and transcending them

I commit myself to transcending programmed fears.

I commit myself to walking through fears/resistance in physical reality.

Day 534 Why Do I Resist Doing Things?

I noticed how there is a tendency within myself to resist doing things sometimes…like I create a judgement and comparison preference towards participating or not participating within particular things/opportunities…like there’s this heaviness energy within myself…where I believe that participating in particular things brings my self-interest into question/jeopardy. Like, I will think of things that produce or keep me in alignment with a particular energetic state. For example with the heaviness experience, it’s like in particular instances it’s as though I would rather not commit to anything…that by not committing to particular engagements I believe I will have more free time…like more time to indulge myself within self-interested pursuits of entertainment. I see how sometimes I create judgements towards moving myself…like wanting to remain within a point of laziness…like the laziness energy is this heaviness…and remaining within that experience requires no physical effort what so ever.  And it’s really quite bizarre because once I commit myself to participating within particular things where I have resistance to doing so, I actually quite enjoy myself within self-expression while participating within particular things/activities.

I think this laziness energy and resistance to doing things is related to me within the years where I smoked copious amounts of marijuana where I often turned down events/activities/opportunities because I preferred to just sit around and get high…like making commitments to doing things seemed like a lot of effort that I wasn't really that interested in.

I realize and understand I exist within a physical reality where participation and movement is required.

I see me having resistance sometimes to participating within social interactions and gatherings, like I would prefer to just remain by myself and do my own thing. Though again this is interesting because I do enjoy engaging/communicating/sharing self-expression with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto this laziness/heavy energetic experience within myself where I prefer to remain within this heaviness lethargic state as opposed to moving myself into physical participation with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for preferring to be by myself as opposed to being with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict towards being by myself and being with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting social opportunities of activity and relationship out of preference to being by myself within entertainment indulgences of self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for taking the time to spend time by myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling conflicted at times for wanting to take the time for myself when I see and realize that many of my peers do not take the time for themselves within self-investigation pursuits.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how there was a time when I never really wanted to be by myself and always existing within socializing experiences of entertainment out of like the fear of being/spending time by myself without the companionship of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having difficulty within finding the perfect balance between social interactions and private time to/for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for flip flopping within extremes of always socializing and isolation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for isolating myself sometimes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining isolation as negative.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I have often focused socializing upon self-interested pursuits.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting socializing if I do not see any particular benefits/rewards/self-interested pursuits within socializing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and feel guilty when I do not see any practical support/benefit/reward/self-interested pursuits within socializing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgement within myself to saying no to particular social interactions....like believing that I should always say yes when offered to participate within social activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising self-responsibilities within fearing to say no sometimes to participating within social activities with peers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving social activities precedence of self-responsibilities/obligations.

When and as I see myself judging whether or not to socialize with others from within the starting point of self-interest, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the suppressing myself expression within socializing within the point of self-righteous self-interest is not practical self-support.

To be Continued

Day 492 Walking through Resistance

I was out walking with Daisy the Dog this Evening and I noticed a peculiar thing. I was getting pissed off when ever she was resisting to go a particular way. Like for instance we had got quite far from home and we needed to get turned around and back towards the house, because I had other responsibilities to attend to, and a 4 hour outdoor explore was not in the cards for today. 

So, I asked myself, why the fuck am I getting bothered when Daisy pulls on the leash?

I was bothered because I was not liking to pull on the leash.

I was worried and concerned that she would not like me pulling on the leash.

It's interesting because I wasn't taking into consideration how she would deliberately yank herself on the leash, much harder the I would pull at her on the leash.



Daisy, showed me a cool point here this evening. How to be cool within and as self-direction. As like the point is the point that needs to be directed. There is nothing personal about the point. No need for emotions or feelings within directing a point.

So, I forgave myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking offense to directing a point of resistance.

After which I noticed I was no more consumed with bother in giving Daisy a gentle tug on the leash and saying to her, "come on Daise, were going this way, it's time to head back towards the house"

What's funny is that she responded and was happy to oblige me.

What's also funny is that she kept fucking with me when I was reacting to her being resistant to my self direction.

So it was reallly cool that she was testing, and checking my self-direction because the point came up where I needed to correct myself, where I allowed myself to take offense to resistance and be bothered by resistance.

Lol I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of allowing myself to be consumed with bother within and as the reaction to facing a moment of resistance.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how allowing myself to be bothered in any moment of resistance is absurdly ridiculous, and is in fact a total dis-service to myself and allLife, as I realize and understand that I am ineffective in directing myself in and as a moment of reaction, that such reactions, are point of self-dishonesty, and are not suggested.

When and as I see myself facing a point of resistance, I stop and breathe, I see myself here in breath, I realize and understand how to direct the point within allowing myself to stop and breathe. I realize and understand that stopping to breathe is the first point of self direction. I realize and understand that as allow myself to stop and breathe, I am able to apply common sense in the moment as my practical living application of moment to moment management as the effective managing of my moments.

I commit myself to self-direction.

I commit myself to applying common sense in the moment as my practical living application of moment to moment management.

I commit myself to effectively managing my moments.

Day 479 Some Resistance to Writing My Blog Tonight

I've gotten into the habit the last little while, where I write my blog towards the very end of my evening, like just before I go to bed. And the point came up tonight of me thinking about not writing my blog, thinking that I'm too tired. And it's really a bullshit reason justification, because it's earlier today than it's been written the last few days, and also, I was lounging around for some time after dinner, and ya, there's no real valid excuse for me not to write my blog.  It's actually quite ridiculous for me to be thinking about not writing my blog within and as the consistency of daily participation because I realize and understand the assistance and support I give to myself within honoring the commitment to write for myself.

I noticed this evening that I had some mild reactions towards my Dad, and that I held onto a couple of judgments about my dad as the following :

I judged my Dad as being impatient and always in a rush

I judged my Dad as self-righteous within communication as like always playing energy games to perpetuate the experience of giving himself a positive energy experience within word exchanges, as like deliberately creating conflict where the belief within his own self-righteousness is so strong that he cannot ever lose and that he is always instigating abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself for having had some resistance to looking at these specific judgments as particular character personality traits that I have in fact perpetuated within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be impatient within myself and rushing within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my Dad as a teacher of assistance and support for me, because even the littlest of a reaction I have towards him, is showing me my character flaws.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto the self-righteous conviction as the belief that I cannot lose an argument and that I can only win arguments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that anyone can in fact be a winner within having reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for playing energy games within communication with others as a result of having conflict within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for being self-righteous within communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to the realization that in some ways I am just like my Dad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to look and investigate the accepted and allowed  friction I have accepted and allowed within myself towards my Dad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that resisting to write is a point of hiding as like not wanting to face myself within a point that has the possibility of being exposed within and as the starting point of self-honesty, self-trust, and self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being surprised when points are realized within myself sometimes, as like, wow, I can't believe I didn't realize I was doing that...it should be so obvious to see what I have been doing this whole time. I realise and understand the process of self-realization and self-correction is extensive and that humbleness is a great tool for me within moving through a point without getting stuck in any sort of reaction in relation to the point I am seeing which is new in a particular moment.  I realise I require to practically sort out points as any reactions within the moment, because allowing myself to hold onto reactions as points I will try to sort out later has a compounding effect that is unnecessary stress and weight on the body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having difficulty in acknowledging my image and likeness to my parents.

I commit myself to seeing the point that I resist opening up within moments of resistance towards writing/vlogging.

I commit myself to investigating all points where there is resistance and or reaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and for believing that I don't need to further investigate relationship with father because I already walked an extensive investigation into my relationship with my father in the past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the accumulation effect of writing as a point of support within and as the point of expansion, as like new dimensions of a point opening up that were not able to be previously seen because there were so many other points that required to be given attention within writing in order to get to the present writing's.


When and as I see myself holding onto judgement, I stop and breathe, I let the judgement go, I realise and understand my self responsibility to forgive myself myself in the moment for accepting and allowing these point of judgement within myself.  I realise and understand the point of self-responsibility within releasing judgments.

When and as I have resistance to blogging or vlogging, I push myself to just do it, and realize these are the moments where I strengthen my momentum within process of self-realization and self-correction as like the moments where I chose to stand instead of falling as like the real-time physical movement within and as the process journey to Life.