Day 516 That ain't Cool

"The point came up today where I was saying that the world isn't very cool. Like there needs to be more coolness. I was saying how politicians and celebrities aren't cool at all, the education system isn't cool, war isn't cool, poverty/abuse/suffering isn't cool, pop culture isn't cool, societal norms aren't cool, commercials aren't cool....I went on to say I got to take self-responsibility for cool....because seriously things are not cool...like there's so much stuff that isn't cool. I was talking to family members about this point...and I kind of jokingly said I'm going to appoint myself the ambassador of cool...and then I started getting reactions from people saying that I got to be appointed by other people in order to be the ambassador...that I can't just declare myself it....that there is not validity to my claim if others are not validating my claim. I said, I  take self-responsibility as the presentation and embodiment of cool. I see it as a point of individual self-responsibility and self-trust. A self-agreement as commitment to the expression of what is best for all Life."

"The point of discussion veered towards seriousness as like seriousness being separated from cool...like the opposite of seriously cool...like seriousness became a point of uncool....where if you want to be taken seriously, you can't be cool...." (Day 507 Branding and Marketing)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that myself as a reflection of the world isn't very cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I must submit myself to my shared environment as uncool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blaming myself and others for not being cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting frustrated with the lack of cool within myself/humanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring a cool world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that if I don't desire a cool shared reality that a cool shared reality cannot become an actuality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to believe that I'm all cool and that it's just all this separated shit here that is not cool, like that there's just a major majority of people that are uncool and thus I am suppressed as a result of being a part of a small minority of cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that uncool can trump cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to see all the bullshit that exists within myself that is not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for liking to take on the cool character as like ya I'm all cool, I ain't responsible for everything that is uncool, that ain't my fault that's all the other uncool people's fault.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making myself within my mind to be Mr. Almighty Cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for for desiring to tell people how uncool they are and how much cool I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that cool doesn't influence the uncool but uncool influences the cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for self-victimizing myself within this world as like accepting and allowing myself to be suppressed and hindered and just like totally indoctrinated with uncool propaganda and education that supports all that is not cool here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring the uncool to tell me I am cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring cool status within an uncool harsh reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for concerning myself with matters that are not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing in reverse of what is cool in an attempt to be cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring somebody else to come along that is just so cool and rally up awareness around what is cool here...like sprinkling the cool pixie dust onto everyone with their words as like creating some sorta abra kadabra presto open sesame they we have it cool manifested as factual physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to taking offense to that which is not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to taking the first step to directing that which is not cool by accepting myself here as that which is not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto me as an individual ego persona of superiority that would totally die and cease to exist if I stepped down of my self appointed thrown of righteous coolness and actual took self-responsibility for everything that is not cool within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to hold onto this heir of self-entitlement elitist status that connects and relates to the idea of myself as cooler than others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making reality out to be like the cool competition where there is only one almighty champion and then it's just derivative, just classes of loser and losing as like the closest finisher to me the champion is just the first one to be proclaimed the loser as I am the winner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that it is wrong to appoint oneself as cool here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking like how dare I think that I can just say I am the example of cool and that if you don't agree with me well that's just because you don't get it yet and your really not that cool, because if you get what I was saying you would be like ya your right it's fucking obvious were all the embodiment of cool here...and it's up to each of us to reclaim our status as cool which can only be done through the process of self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications...because that is the epitome of self-responsibility here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for expecting there to be some sort of programming manual for me to copy so that I can not worry and fear that I am fucking shit up right and then I don't really have to make any in the moment real time decisions, I just can believe myself to be great within and as the religion of self worship based upon subscribing to a particular culture of idea's that suits the personality suits I would like wear as my image as the way I imagine myself to be within my mind of self-righteous authoritarian rule.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having difficulty to live for real as like having no idea of what it really means to live here for real for eternity as like never wavering within doubt with flashes of energetic fluctuation as particular mental frameworks shape a freeze frame of myself going hard crystallized within myself as I submit within a mind-pattern of accepted and allowed auto-destruct.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for following the mind consciousness program of automation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to close the option and consideration of going into mind conscious auto pilot as like being in the back seat just watching the show that I'm reacting to, never realizing myself as the real time physical director of the whole game play.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing myself within the driver's seat of awareness as like it's all me here, that I am always working with me here as what I accept and allow as me here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to ignore the manual of acceptances and allowances I used as the particular memory impressions I formed to particular moments as like the energy juice I mined my physicality with as like my mind being the robotic miner that goes 24/7 always digging for more of myself to abuse as like constantly scratching an itch...and all the while me sitting in the backseat watching the show, believing things are taken care of for me that I'm on holidays and ya life's quite the trip while not realizing and understanding that why I've been calling Life a trip because I fell for the lie I sold myself as the reasoned justification that I spawned within having automated energetic experiences within every particular moment since as long as I can remember.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how uncool it is to refer to life as a trip as like this temporary ride where I am just a temporary problem so to speak in that eventually I will just auto-destruct because I wasn't built to last the testaments of time...more like due to lacking the integrity and focus in labored craftsmanship...subscribing to the fuck it philosophy and therefore buying stock within planned obsolescence, figuring and solidifying my time here as temporary so thinking that's just the design of how things are and I aint no designer, im just a product of some greater design that I gladly say and welcome with self-submission by praying and saying "at your service oh benevolent one, my inherent nature is a desire to serve...so just tell me what to do and then it is done...but give me the free will to choose how I serve because then I am blissfully ignorant within my own free will believing that I have free range to do anything, while not realising and understanding how I've just contributed to the perpetuation of  a giant super duper fuck up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to work with my fellow fuckers here who have equally contributed to the fuckedness equation, because within coming to a starting point of oneness and equality within and as each of our opportunity here I can't point the blame fuck you middle finger any more and my life that I sold for a temporary trip here as the guaranteed experience of a Life time becomes null and void and I missed out on the deal of a life time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for searching for and longing for cool as like the programmed code and guide how to be cool...while not realizing and understanding myself as the key maker here as realizing and understanding myself as the key to me...like I am the key to the kingdom of heaven...I am the door...I am the way...it's all within me here...and I am the only one who can grant me access...and whats funny and cool about this is that I cannot bullshit myself a granted access pass, meaning my sound as my word as my signature as the music that cannot be faked, I gotta be pure as the proven cure so that I can be sure I won't contaminate all that is pure ever again...and so I see as the intimacy is in to me...hehe, laugh as I face my accepted and allowed absurd ridiculousness as I have the aha moment of self-realizing and understanding this is source of my contamination that needs immediate remediation/reclamation as I unfuck the improper fucking I fucked myself with, as the very nature and core of my being had been penetrated without taking the necessary steps and precautions for the best fucking...and so there as the consequence of fucking as less than the best fucking, I see and realize how I raped myself.

To Be Continued