I am engaging myself in a 7 year journey to Nothingness. Meaning I am writing myself here...all the way through my mind, birthing my Life Potential within and as my physical body and Being Here. I re-structure myself within and as words. I am sharing my process of self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-realizations as I walk my journey to life. Cheers and Enjoy.
Saturday 23 November 2013
Day 519 Reason Treason Self-Governance
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reasoning treasonous acts within myself as acceptances and allowances that create conflict within and as a myself standing here as the point of self-directed self-governor of and as what is best for all Life....Realizing and understanding that what is best for all Life starts with and as what I accept and allow within myself. I realize and understand that perpetuating reasons within myself to justify self-imposed discomfort within and as the belief that blame is a necessary reason for placing myself to be governed in accordance to allowing myself to get worked up within myself by reasoning the validity of blame as like being somebody else's fault for the way I am governing the law of my being here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have made decisions within myself that are directly contradictory to my ability to creatively express and enjoy myself from moment to moment. I realize the ridiculous absurdity of holding onto treasonous attitudes within myself as like a form of abdicating myself as the best self-governance as like what I would like to see within and as all Life here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for validating compromise within and as myself as the epitome of self-governance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the full time commitment to myself here as self-governance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite myself in moments of abdication of self-responsibility of myself here within going into a a point of emotion that I accepted and allowed to be valid as a form of reason to commit treason against myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have dis-empowered myself by choosing to validate reasoning within myself as an accepted mental frame work that does not support me in operating at my fullest potential.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for validating reasoned treason within myself as a form of coping mechanism for the anger and frustration that surfaces from within myself that has remained buried for some time due to the nature of myself having accepted and allowed self-suppression throughout my history here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding my time here as the standing body of self-governance within choosing to entertain distraction as reasoned justifiable emotional reactions as like being worthy of my attention and time. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of spiting myself within time by giving my attention to proliferating abuse within myself as emotional reaction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to escape self-responsibility for the treasonous reasons I have accepted and allowed to exist within myself as how I have spited myself from and as the opportunity to stand as the self-embodiment of and as all as One and Equal.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the reasoned treason within desiring to be angry as a point of emotional reaction that is fueled and charged within myself as a result of choosing/deciding to participate within and as an initial energetic triggered reaction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have been conditions throughout time to accept and allow myself to validate and justify treasonous acceptances and allowances within myself that deliberately spite my ability to stand as what is best for all Life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have accepted and allowed myself to be my own worst enemy and within this refused to take accountability for my particpations by choosing to believe that blame is the game as to protect me in the fight against myself and therefore keep myself hidden suppressed from seeing what I am really doing to myself in every moment here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have made others out to be my enemy as like that which I am mad at and disappointed with because I have been afraid of seeing that which pisses me off within others is that which I refuse to take full self-responsibility for within myself and therefore by me being pissed off at another for even 1 second reflects the disregard I have accepted and allowed within myself and therefore I see and realize how I have justified the disregard for unconditional compassion within myself. I see and realize and understand the awesomeness of utilizing myself here in and as how my mind exists as the compass/tool/point of reference and way for me to be self-investigating and reclaiming self-responsibility and accountability for All of myself here as what is best for Life as the living realization and understanding of myself as Equality and Oneness birthed in and as physicality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing myself as All Life here within being greedy about sharing my time here, as like taking my time personally as like not wanting to be flexible in my capacity to respond within a moments notice because that contradicts myself from living in the planned expectations I created for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to commit treason against the law of my being here as self-governance within and as valuing my time as being more valuable than any other beings Life time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to de-value Life Time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting angry with having to share more of my time than I was initially willing to share to assist and support fellow beings in a moment where I am able to assist and support another in a way that I would like to be assisted and supported.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have been treasonous against self-governance as what is best for all Life within de-valuing my time and the principle of giving as I would like to receive.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place expectations and reasoned judgement on what I am willing to give and share within a moment, as like taking offense when an opportunity arises for me to stand as a point of support for another in a situation that resulted unexpectedly that I would not ever expect myself to be in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating reasoned expectations within myself that create and dictate non-action within myself as like creating the platform for myself to be deliberately stiff, rigid, and stubborn when in fact the capability and capacity exists within me to be flexible and creative in directing the problem into and as a solution which is best for Life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be an enemy of what is best for all Life by allowing myself to be stiff and rigid and limited in and as my ability to respond within a moments notice to share as a point of caring for and as living life as what is best for all Life always all ways within and as the starting point principle of creation as Oneness and Equality,...realizing and understanding separation to be the greatest self-imposed deception/treason against myself as the starting point authority of self-governance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have committed treason against Life within spiting the equality and oneness within time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating and self-sabotaging my relationship with time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a relationship to time as a point of debt I am always falling behind within while always trying to get ahead in time as like trying to catch this carrot on a stick that is dangling in front of myself that is always just out of reach.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for committing treason against myself as All Life within judging myself in time as like creating a comparison to myself according to time...as like making the time to be a point of debt servitude and then to generate a particular reaction towards the debt as time....as like how I am feeling/experiencing myself within and as reaction to the debt/time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abdicating self-governance within myself by becoming frustrated with time and within this going into as a a form of rebellion towards time and then deliberately spiting the nature of my relationship with time by going into a 'fuck it' experience as like being so fed up with always being behind in the race against time to say I no more care to compete here in time and that I'm not even going to regard time as a point of practical self measuring tool because the extent to which I have allowed myself to kick my own ass with regards to time is shameful.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to commit treason against myself as Life here within and as I refused to direct the labored points of repair/self-correction...and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating more damage and thus more repairs/self-correction required by accepting and allowing myself to choose to ignore/delay the labored responsibility of self-remediation as self-directing the purification of my acceptances and allowances in every moment I am here....realizing that I am here as a laborer to facilitate care and regard for myself as Life, piecing myself back together, realizing and understanding the self-direction within taking responsibility to create myself here as the masterpiece which is the labored results of my efforts from and as the principled self-commitment of what is best for all Life is all ways the best.
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