Day 793 - Mind Superior Royalty

“I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lock myself up within my word relationships in such a sneaky and deceptive manner of self-trickery that I resist to even speak or write about it....because the pain of self-condemnation as an Inferior and an Imbecile is heart breakingly embarrassing to myself as Mind Superior Royalty who is Superior to such characterizations and behaviours.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the significance of my words and world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist taking authority for my world and words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate direction to misalignment within and as my word and world relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss the extent of my errors and suppression within and as my relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor really extensively investigate myself within and as my words as the science and structured signs of myself here as how I have specifically created myself to be exactly as I am in this moment here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how I created my world through and as the specific impressions i created within and as the words within myself and how it is my words that are in fact very questionable always as my words are the explanation to why my world is exactly the way it is. I realize my words are not valid as an excuse of justification for why and how I am here within and as the world. I realize who and how I have existed within and as the world as been an excuse and justification, in a way, my ignorance and incompetence, a lack of Life regard.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeking stimulation externally to charge myself internally as how I have conditioned my preferences within my mind for feeding off of my physical body from day to day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust within my thinking as how to best feed off my body for energetic highs and lows as to give me the perfect chemical concoction i desire in the moment to satisfy a seemingly internal and external craving for more and more consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the addiction i have created within and as my mind to feed off myself, my life, all life as an energetic kick back. Conflict.

Tension for the attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to crave the continuous pulsation of tension within my body to feel something, because without a constant stressing and straining in way of engagement i have an experience of being unfulfilled.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to get my fill of consumption, a point of tension in creating rifts, conflict, as various forms of self-abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how extensively integrated my conditioned behavior and personality is for destructive self-abuse...and therefore world abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to get real, make the daily commitment to deconstruct my constructions of word/world relationships that i exist in and as separation to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuck around with actually living words for real and creating myself and world as I would like.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make believe that really investigating myself within and as Words is something that is not totally necessary....is entertaining and enjoyable but at the same time a lot of effort and work and therefor avoidable and personally i rather go about this process of word/world entanglement in a less than organized and structured manner because the task and process is overwhelming to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed with the process of word and world entanglement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that i must think of everything before i can really do anything.\

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding myself back from playing and working on Potential developments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how One in fact goes about Creating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist being totally self-honest with myself here and that I haven't understood Creation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear looking inferior to others in my understanding, knowledge and application of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to penalize myself within and as a result of conditioning myself to be controlled through fear of not Knowing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the process of Know thy Self, is to in fact stand in the face of Not Knowing, and to from here, Walk, take the steps to: Investigating, Learning, Asking Questions, play and work with things so that I know.

Day 731 - Golden Ticket

Continuing from my previous post, "Day 730 - Coming Out of Retirement"


"A realization that has become clear to me is that Yes, Indeed I do have a Golden Ticket and this Golden Ticket is in fact my Potential Here...and the thing is...I Require to Use My Golden Ticket...and I cannot just save it away and avoid it for a long time later.....that is foolish....My Golden Ticket has the Most Value Now...and The Value Of My Golden Ticket Gets More Valuable every day I Exercise it....like a card I got to pay/play with as the decisions I make." (Day 730 - Coming out of Retirement)


Within this and continuing from my post yesterday there is much self-forgiveness I would like to share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting long term commitment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing long term commitment to get in the way of short term commitments and my overall ability to have fun.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for regarding "long term commitment" as burden and something that is tedious in a way i don't want to deal with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing long term commitment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making a conflict of sorts between "short term commitment" and "long term commitment".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have created my life from the starting point of self-interest linked to my emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting movement if I am not experiencing a positive energy about doing such movement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining retirement living as the enthrallment within feed positive energy pursuits.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting overwhelmed within the point of long term planning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to actually really sit with myself and take the time to look at what I would like as some long term plans.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for always kind of reacting to the point of long term planning and being quit to judge and dismiss the point as being limiting and taking away from my day to day living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the purposeful living within creating long term plans.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the flexibility and adaptability within long term planning that it can be a fun thing and isn't a prison sentence,,,but in fact the complete opposite.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having spent many years not really caring or daring to push the development of long term planning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how this past decade has been like a testing phase of sorts where I have been investigating and looking at possible avenues to take myself within as a point of long term planning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring some structure and order in my life from the perspective of creating long term plans for myself to be able to move into fruition/actualization.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding how to create long term plans for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing long term and short term goals within conflict with each other and for not realizing how I can utilized these two opposite points as being complimentary in bringing to fruition both the short term plans and the long term plans.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understand how ridiculous it is pit things against one another that can very easily be complementary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to regularly check my maps as the plans i create for myself in both the short term and the long term.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not taking my life seriously from the perspective of long term planning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for kind of neglecting myself as the creator of my life from and as the perspective that My Wish is My Command...and that I am capable of being very specific and exact within my life planning and also at times be quite adaptable.

Day 638 Tree Planting Chapter 2

It's interesting to see how each of us is the starting point of integral importance in self-determining our effectiveness within and as the point.

Let me clarify here, what it is that I mean:

This morning I noticed many thoughts coming up within my mind as to why it is that i should take the day off of work today. I had many "valid" justifications come up within my mind that were "sound" arguments. I just looked at point after point come up within my mind...as like my mind was forming a case for me...like in defense of me going to work...what is interesting about all of this...is that I actually wanted to go to work.

So, I went to work despite having all these thoughts saying I should not go to work.

Interesting, how part way through the day at work...as I was finishing my lunch...there was a return of the thoughts of "giving up...giving in to justification of mind"...which is interesting because, again, I could see/realize/understand what was happening here...and so, again, I decided to push the point and get myself moving into my tree planting.

What's also interesting here...is that there was a point within my work day...where I became aware of the fact that someone I didn't expect to be yielding better results/performance than me, was in fact doing so...I mean I knew exactly what it was I was doing...and like how strong an output I was generating...in terms of the labored intensity I was putting into the tree planting. OK, so, I noticed a point of ridiculous absurdness...where I didn't ever expect this work colleague of mine to ever perform the tree planting task better than me...I mean to the point where it was like me regarding myself as always superior to this particular being...regardless of circumstances...and I mean this was a "what the fuck situation"...because I noticed...that I went into a "foul mood"...a form of "self-victimization" when I realized that I was apparently "losing in my mind"...in accordance with  my shaped reality outlook about my work colleague. This brought insight into the point that, I was quite enjoying the experience of myself within the work I was doing before I became aware of the statistics of the situation. So, I saw/realized/understood the absurd ridiculousness of the situation...realized that it is not cool to harbor self-limiting judgement and doubt about another...and that these particular views in which I was holding onto about my work colleague in fact reflect and presented to me points about my character personality here...where sometimes, I would doubt my potential and capability to challenge a particular frame of mind that I am in...like emotion/thought/feeling...And I mean obviously this was a cool point of self-reflection for today because I continued to push that point for myself...and really show myself that I can move beyond the particular mind sets that come up within a moment as like temporary distractions that act as like road barriers...only if I choose to allow myself to be bothered by the obstacles/barriers...which is interesting...because in garnering insight into how the mind operates...what I have noticed is that my mind is like fishing for energy in particular moments sometimes..as like to hook my attention onto something..as a point of conflict...so the friction can produce an energetic pull on my body to cause strain/stress all in all just perpetuating a cognitive dissonance from really truly expressing myself in my moment to moment movement as the self-expression I am as the starting point of and as self-direction here.

Moving On,

Food is Awesome support. What I became really appreciative of today...was the taking of time to really enjoy a little snack...like a a point of reward/treat for yourself as a result of staying focused/working hard on a point...and taking the few moments as a treat/reward...but really...it's a giving of yourself support...like a necessary support...like taking a few moments to relax...so that you can continue onward within and as a point of regimented discipline and focus...and to assist and support body stability within process participation here...I see that it is really important to express ourselves within and as the food that we enjoy eating. Like all the little nuances about how we go about taking those few minutes...or five minutes....or ten minutes...or 15 minutes even...for ourselves to stretch out...and enjoy some sort of food and or drink...as like the treat(s) we are choosing to treat ourselves with. It's interesting to see how we in fact treat ourselves here...and how we in fact sometimes neglect to really treat ourselves...I mean like what the fuck...I mean isn't life suppose to be like one big treat...a present...as the present is our presents here...and the more were tune in to see what is here the more we can receive all that is here to receive...


I asked a buddy at work today how his day had been going today...half expecting to get a complaint or a positive response that was out of the ordinary...which is interesting because I got exactly an extraordinary response...which was quite simplistic...and the best answer I have every heard from someone responding to the question, "how is your day at work going"...

So, He said, something along the lines of, "All the days are the same to me...there all good...the only day that is maybe a little extra sweeter than the rest...is my last day of work..."

This is the Awesome practical living attitude. I was just looking at this outlook in regards to life and death..as like living your day by day...and the death bed being even sweeter...as like no regrets...seeing/realizing/understanding self-here...welcoming a point coming to a close. As something ends...something else begins...in the end it begins...and ya...appreciation of the process unfolding here...enjoying the journey...and getting to the destination as like just a little bit sweeter as like that final yabadabdoo in the sense of steps accumulating towards mission accomplished.


A couple more points I would like to open up here:

Force of Competition...what is the motivating force behind Elite performance within competition?

Starting point of Competition...Self-Here..and the challenges/responsibilities we take on as who we are...which is winning/winning...because within and as our self-determination as our steadfast self-discipline we cannot really fail...because any perceived failure...is part of the process to becoming better and better...and is a point of recognition...where we enable our self to look at what it is we did and didn't do...and what another did or didn't do...and we can therefore self-reflect constructively within competition...as like a point of sharing and caring here...as like how we play with one another here...as like how we say friendly competition....and the point that seemingly opens up and wraps itself up here is that we are the staring point of and as friendly competition...meaning the level of self-intimacy we have with our self...will determine the level of competitiveness we will be willing to exercise within and as our self-movement here...in and as our self-expression.

Competition in the truest sense of the meaning is the support and assistance of self-perfection...and challenging the acceptances and allowances of what is best to get even better...so that what is best can be even better than it was...as like the process of and as self-improvement...until there is no more limit...like achieving limitless possibilities...as the whole point always around...like always here...all dimensions in tact...like...god almighty holy shit...yet...no more no less than the rest...as like one and equal with all here. Self Here.

So, self-realization leads into self-perfection which leads into self here....as got it...got the point...god it..living it...life

So, self-perfection is like the competition going on here...where we are all in the process of supporting and assisting You's and Me's within and as the point of self-reflection...as like all is in this friendly competition and journey together and the point is for us to see/realize/understand our self here so that we can actually come to agreement on the terms of our playing field here....as it is important to remember...what is a friendly little competition within getting a bit better...the better bit is a win/win...as each bit contributes to the win. As above and so below. So within and So without. One and Equal.