Day 40, Holding a Grudge Brews Anger

Day 40, Anger Reactions and Holding a Grudge

Last night laptop/wallet/shoes/clothes/mp3 player/voice recorder/external hard drive/game boy/work binder/e-cig went missing.

Today I reacted as anger as like being emotionally charged and kind of holding a grudge as anger as being pissed/emotionally charged about losing my shit and this influenced my day and caused me to flare up with intense emotional charges when:

When I finished a bag up and there were no tree boxes for me (this happened twice)

I had to pick up a box of trees that was left for me in the mud...and I had to carry it to another area...as it was left in an area where I would not be planting...meaning I was annoyed because I felt like I had to do extra work.

Dude planted a bunch more trees than me today.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be bothered/annoyed/angry about events/happenings in my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  for being possessed with annoyance and irritation as a result of allowing points of anger to consume me a projected blame and pity and frustration.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger as emotionally charged annoyance and for not realising that the annoyance that I project is in fact directed at myself as a result of pent up suppression in my day to day practical living as oneness and equality here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for whining about my stuff going missing.

I forgive myself for not realising that by holding a grudge about my shit going missing...it carried over and influenced me the next day as I did not let go over the grudge as anger and annoyance and frustration and irritation and therefore I was getting quite irked very easily about silly trivial facts in everyday living as mentioned above in my writing here at the beginning of this blog.

I forgive myself for not realising that points I have not cleared effectively with self forgiveness will influence and affect me as thoughts/feelings/emotions because unresolved issues remain unresolved issues until they are solved

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying not writing about my missing shit last night because I wrote earlier in the day.

I realise that by holding a grudge about my shit going missing...it carried over and influenced me the next day as I did not let go over the grudge as anger and annoyance and frustration and irritation and therefore I was getting quite irked very easily about silly trivial facts in everyday living as mentioned above in my writing here at the beginning of this blog.

I realise that points I have not cleared effectively with self forgiveness wil influence and affect me as thoughts/feelings/emotions because unresolved issues remain unresolved issues until they are solved

I realise holding a grudge is like holding onto something you don’t want to hold onto

I realise that holding a grudge isn’t very comforting...like ants in your pants...etc...etc

I realise holding a grudge is very stupid

I realise the ridiculousness of holding a grudge.

I realise ability to function and perform is compromised as self sabotage as a result of holding a grudge is it is a projection of blame.

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When and as I see myself holding onto a grudge...I STOP, I BREATHE and REALISE the fuckedness of holding onto a grudge as I realise the ridiculous absurdity of holding a grudge.

I commit myself to letting go of all grudges.

I commit myself to exposing the ridiculousness of holding a grudge.

I commit myself to not holding a grudge.

I commit myself to being creative in expressing funny as a result of ridiculousness.