Day 49, Projecting Future Complaints and Excuses

I had thoughts about in the future telling friends about the hardships of tree planting as not making as much money as I'd like and blaming it on the fact that the tree planting contract I was working wasn't that good.

Looking at this point, I see that I place expectation on my friends as having expectations of my greatness at tree planting and making lots of money...and it's like I feel bad bad...like an emotional low if I don't have great news to brag about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for projecting future blame as complaining about misfortune tree planting as not making as much money as I have at previous times.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting emotional when I don't make a lot of money tree planting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel high when I make a lot of money tree planting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having projected thoughts about in the future telling friends about hardships tree planting from the perspective of whining and complaining about not making as much money as I feel entitled to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place expectations within my friends as how I believe/feel they perceive me as great and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having emotions about sharing less than spectacular new and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to share good news as like me bragging about sharing information that is good for me as it gives me feelings of a high.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging having and experiencing emotions and feelings as bad/wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for complaining/whining within my head and creating future projection of whining/complaining to friends as audience to pity my whining/complaining.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for whining and complaining as a form of self validation for when I invalidate myself with self judgment.

I realise the ridiculousness of allowing myself to whine/complain within myself and to project whining/complaining on a future audience.

I realise that any acceptance and allowance of whining and complaining is an indication/indicator of accepted and allowed self pity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for self pitying myself while tree planting by accepting and allowing myself for creating future projections of fifrends pitying my whining/complaining to them as unfortunate misfortune

I realise whining and complaining is bullshit.  I realise I am not interested in participating in whining and complaining.  I realise the absolute ridiculousness of whining and complaining as emotional verbal diarrhea.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to project  a future audience listiening to me whine and complain, I stop! I breathe!...and I laugh at the ridiculousness as confirmation of seeing and realising the ridiculousness of whining and complaining.