So today I went to the bus station to see if the bus would be running today that in previous days had been cancelled due to a mudslide along one of the highways. I found out today that the bus would be running later this evening...and proceeded to buy my ticket...after having purchased my ticket...I experienced thoughts/emotions about how I shouldnt have purchased my ticket because there was a chance that I would be able to score a ride with people that would be driving that way the next day. Initially I just kind of forgot about that as I didn't really slow myself down with breathing in making sure that I should purchase my ticket right now in the afternoon...and that there is no reason for me to wait to make sure I need the ticket.
So, I was likr fuck...and a lil bit emotional as like I might be losing out on some money as I poted for the non refundable ticket. I was looking at this point as re-inforcing the point of slowing myself down with breathin in making decsions to make sure I am checking all variables and that I am in fact making an absolute best decisions.
Even though I realised that I was re-inforcing a point within myself that I have not lived,..I experienced regret for the mistake I made and I see that it was like me experiencing a zing because I might be losing some money and I was a little bit upset.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not slowing myself down within and as breathing as to make sure of the decision I am making so that I do not disregard any points of consideration.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for experiencing guilt and regret for having made a mistake in that I rushed a decision in purchasing my bus ticket and that I did not consider all variable in making my decision.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting emotionally to the mistake I made as regret/guilt due to the accepted and allowed fear of loss within myself with specific regard to the fear of losing money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a stong energetic relationship to money where I am postively charged upon receiving/making lots of money and negatively charged upon losing money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a moment of dwelling within the thought/emotion of losing money even though I realise this entire experience was a gift/present for me to facilitiate self realisation that I had not yet proven effective within myself with specific regard to slowing myself down with breath in making decisions and allowing myself to consider all variables before I decided to move forward with a decision.
I forgive myself for not fully realising that if I do not slow myself down to existing within and as the pace of my breathing with and as my self direction...than I am liable to get a head of myself and therefore miss points/considerations within myself as being caught in automated consciousness as just tripping in the mind as being bound by a train of thought.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being possessed by the consequence of my actions and keep replaying the scenario over in my head and also creating what if scenarios in my head and future projection scenarios based in and as hope to relieve the experience of having made a wrong decision and having lost money as a result of having rushed a decision.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear making wrong decisions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be possessed by money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing feeling and emotional reactions to money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing money to exist as an energetic charge within myself that is either positive or negative.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring positive feeling energetic expereinces with money anf for fearing negative emotional energetic experiences with money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for spending money to provide a sense of energetic high/rush/positive experience within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my gratittude for this series of events as a poinbt of assitance and suopport in showing myself the consequence of automated mind particpations as a result of being physically present in and as breath.
I realise I will make mistakes and I will face my consequences and that in facing mistakes/consequences I have the oppurtunity to self correct myself within and as self forgiveness which facilitates self realisation and re-scripting my behaviour programming to practically live/apply self realisation as self correction as practical insight which I could not see before which therefore opens my eyes to seeing a point which I could not see before and therfore in correcting a past moment I change future moments and new oppurtunites/paths of assistance and support open up for me which were previously not available to me.
I realise gratittude and gratefulness as awesome tools of self support in facing consequence(s) to not get stuck within emotional possession of sub conscious mind and can therfore embrace the gift and can transcend the point of accepted and allowed limitiation with self forgiveness and self corrective statements as self realisation and re-scripting as When and as I see myself accepting and allowing.......I stop, I breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing such a point within and as myself.
I realise that if I do not slow myself down to existing within and as the pace of my breathing with and as my self direction...than I am liable to get a head of myself and therefore miss points/considerations within myself as being caught in automated consciousness as just tripping in the mind as being bound by a train of thought.
I realise that If I am ahead of myself so to speak...than what the fuck...I am split into parts and am not exisitng as a whole being here as life.
When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to go into a point of decision making and I am about to sppeak confirmation of a decision, I stop for a moment and I slow myself down with breath as like I am pausing to make sure I am clear in having checked all relevant check points in making/finalizing a specific decision as I apply brutal self honesty within myself as allowing myself to pause for a moment as I hold my breath inward and look within myself to make sure that I am clear in my decision making before I release my breath outwards as the confirmation of having been brutally honest with myself as self trust in checking all points of consideration in making a decision.
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