The opportunity arose today to express my gay voice as I was being silly with some of my co-workers...and the point came up about another being expressing his gay voice to his roommates...and I started making ridiculous impressions of the being using a gay voice tonality...and it was evident as my sound that my gay voice sounded stupid/retarded...and a co-worker even commented about it...and I said..."I know...it must be because at the core of my being that I think being gay is retarded and stupid." And after I said that I was kind of like woah. I also acknowledged that the other day when I was trying to do gay voice tonalities/impressions the other day, I noticed the point of stupid and retarded sounding within my tonality while trying to emphasise just a gay voice tonality...not specifically stupid or retarded.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that it is bad to think that being gay is stupid or retarded.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for validating the stupidity and retardedness of gayness with my first self forgiveness statement.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging gayness as stupid and retarded.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining gayness as stupid and retarded.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for pitying gay people.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for worrying about my comment of gayness being stupid and retarded to be offensive.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that everyone is gay and straight capable and that hating one way or the other way is stupid and retarded.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for projecting myself as self righteous and as separate from gayness and intellectually superior to gayness....I forgive myself for not realising the extent of my fear of gayness and gay capabilities and for making excuses/justifications/reasoning to deny my gay capabilities because I accepted and allowed myself to define gayness as stupid and retarded.
So, In looking at this point, initially I feared my reaction that gayness is stupid and retarded...and that I am being mean and unkind and that I should forgive myself for thinking being gay is stupid/retarded...and that I am being mean and unkind and that I should forgive myself for thinking being gay is stupid and retarded...and then i looked at the point of judging/stereotyping gayness with stupid/retarded sounding voices/lisps...and I reckoned that not all gay people sound stupid and retarded based on their voice tonalities...also the stupid/retardedness of gayness didn't come up until I tried to imitate voices of people that openly express themselves as gay...and it's like I fear seeing the point that gayness/homosexuality is in fact stupid/retarded because I see this being a point of conflict/friction with other beings here because I am calling a particular preference stupid/retarded...and a cool quote from Sunnette about preference,..to paraphrase her words is to say, 'it's about living principle over preference as the principle of oneness and equality considers what is best for everyone.'
Oneness and equality is what is best for all beings here....
Oneness and equality is beyond preference.
Within ranting and raving thus far, the point has risen...'fear of letting go of sexual preference'...that no preference can be stupid/retarded if no preference exists...which kind of exposes the stupidity/retardedness/pre programming of preferences and the point of principle over/before preference. Principle being simple...The best for all life...this to be lived therefore requires me to stand as a representative of and as all life here as living self realisation...common sense simplicity is my guide and self honesty/trust in pushing through resistance is my road map in becoming life always here in every moment as sound physicality...physically fit as oneness and equality
walking process requires courage as the murderous rage that stops accepting and allowing anything within self as less than principled living oneness and equality.
WOW! COOL! YES! I AM HERE! GRATEFUL FOR/AS LIFE PRESENTS PRESENCE...
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging life presents presence as sound self expression equality and oneness merged into beingness as physical manifested presents/presence of grateful greatness.
I realise greatness is who I am.
When and as I see myself suppressing greatness I stop, I breathe and I realise and look at ridiculousness of accepted and allowed suppression of who I am.
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