Yesterday I had very intense explosive diarrhea and was feeling fatigued...so I decided it was in my best interest to take the day off work to rest. "To take the day off work to rest"...why am I not at rest while working? Is it possible to be working and resting/relaxed/stress free at the same time? I say Yes. How could this be possible? No stress...body relaxation...movement without stress or strain...gratitude/appreciation/grateful/self love/self fulfillment/enjoyment.
Where/Why have I caused myself stress and strain?
-Performance expectations...fear of not achieving performance expectations...using fear as motivation...memories of past achievements
-Thoughts/feelings/emotions not dealt with effectively...dwelling within being here tree planting...feeling committed here...stuck because of decision I made...should make more money for survival/comfort/security...RESISTANCE
-Money
-Competitive Comparisons linked to winning/losing...example is high-baller/low-baller
-Resistance to walking commitments as self trust decision making
Self Forgiveness statements:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist walking commitments as self trust decision making.
I forgive myself for not realizing that I will face resistance in walking commitments as self trust decision making because I am paving a new road/creating a new way for myself as Life that hasn't been walked/realized before
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dwell within the entirety of my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions when and as I experience resistance in walking self commitment statements as self willed self trust decision making.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place and justify stress and strain upon my body as having expectations for myself as performance expectations such as planting sooo many tress or I will experience fear of loss/losing/defeat as experience of inferiority and less than.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging the # of trees I plant in a day as either positive feelings or negative emotions which results in me being a winner as a high baller or a loser as a low baller.
I forgive myself for not realising the stress and strain I cause myself as feelings/emotions as either winning or losing at work and the fear motivator based on either desire to winning as security mechanism to prevent losing and invoke winning because i've accepted and allowed the fear of loss within myself to seem unbearable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the fear of loss and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to win.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place myself in between winner and and loser as constant struggle/battle for survival.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to react to the above self forgiveness as like fuck...holy shit...I want to erase it...Really?! As if I am accepting and allowing myself to place myself in polarity position/manifestation as wither winner or loser as a constant struggle/battle for survival.
I forgive myself for not realising that I have suppressed practical living here as a result of accepting and allowing polarity manifestations of winning/losing to be governed as/by fear as accepted and allowed relationship motivator.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience guilt in sharing decisions...I forgive myself for not realising that guilt exposes lack of self trust as self commitment as self willed decision making as self doubt and therefore accepting and allowing self to be influenced by emotions as a result of not standing 100% clear in decision making
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my decision making abilities as self willed self trust as self honesty in and as self expression as self commitment to living as best interests of and as all life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be guilty as a result of holding onto thoughts/feelings/emotions and I forgive myself for not realising I am guilty and will experience guilt if I do not release myself from thoughts/feelings/emotions in every moment I experience them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to punish myself with guilt by holding onto thoughts/feelings/emotions and participating within them without releasing them with self forgiveness and therefore re scripting myself and changing my accepted and allowed nature.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to experience of guilt as feeling bad...dwelling within thoughts/feelings/emotions as guilt/remorse/trap/stuckness...and I forgive myself for not realising that with my accepted and allowed participation in guilt, I created self imprisonment as guilt/remorse/trap/stuckness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating work as competition/competitive environment that I am in that invokes fear/stress/strain/trap/stuckness/survival/money/winning/losing/competitive comparisons as either winner of loser.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stress about work.
I realise guilt is a self induced as a result of having thoughts/feelings/emotions about a particular situation where self-judgement has been induced as a result of self doubt because of lack of self trust and self willed commitment
I realise guilt is a result of indecisiveness and is a self inflicted punishment that persists as a result of resisting self forgiveness because emotional reaction as feeling bad is justified and perpetuated with thougts/emotions and participation within as reaction perpetuates fuckedness.
I realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing guilt as like kicking your own ass with internal zapping/shock as self justfied harm/abuse/mutilation at the expense/extent of the guilt experienced...which is absurd ridiculousness to justify harm/abuse/mutilation.
I realise I will obviously face resistance in walking commitments as self trust decsion making because I am paving a new way for myself as life that hasn't been walked before and realised by Me as Life
I realise I am guilty and will experience guilt if I do not release myself from thoughts/feelings/emotions in every moment I experience them.
I realise that with my accepted and allowed participation in guilt, I created self imprisonment as guilt/remorse/trap/stuckness
I realise that guilt exposes lack of self trust as self commitment as self willed decision making as self doubt and therefore accepting and allowing self to be influenced by emotions as a result of not standing 100% clear in decision making
I realise that I have suppressed practical living here as a result of accepting and allowing polarity manifestations of winning/losing to be governed as/by fear as accepted and allowed relationship motivator.
I realise the stress and strain I cause myself as feelings/emotions as either winning or losing at work and the fear motivator based on either desire to winning as security mechanism to prevent losing and invoke winning because i've accepted and allowed the fear of loss within myself to seem unbearable.
I realise that I will face resistance in walking commitments as self trust decision making because I am paving a new road/creating a new way for myself as Life that hasn't been walked/realized before.
When and as I see myself experiencing guilt, I Stop, I breathe and I realise guilt is an indicator of accepted and allowed self dishonesty and indecisiveness in decision making and therefore I check myself with brutal self honesty and alleviate self dishonesty as catching myself as avoiding a near fuckup.
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