Performance and audience
So, soooo
I’m always performing here and the audience is always
me...it’s funny to realise this because so much i had been wanting and desiring
to perform in front of a desired crowd to listen to me share...and it’s kind of
ha-ha a ha because I was holding back from giving a full performance as me as
sharing and self expressions... because of the environment I was in...like for
example with my co-worker and friends...like I thought it would be better and
easier to share with strangers...and it’s like in my mind I had a preference to
do so that way...and today I was like what the fuck..I was having thoughts
about this...and I realised the point of
fear of sharing me unconditionally...without judgement...like to express me
without compromise and to express me because who I am is orgasmic self
expression...and therefore I erupt so to speak and yes man I see the point of
ridiculousness in allowing fear to influence self expression as a limiting
debilitator...and I even experienced a little bit of it this evening when I
went out to the dance club to dance as there was some resistance within myself
to letting totally loose and doing my thang
on the dance floor...it’s like I had a little bit of hesitation within
myself...like doubting my confidence and self trust and really just a mind fuck
because I know I am capable. Also I
pointed the finger at my girlfriend and her friend for their hesitance and
resistance within letting loose and dancing...which is brutal because I blamed
them to avoid seeing myself delusion as the point of self
reflection/realisation.
Then I saw some fancy fine foot work on the dance floor and
I recognized the awesomeness in it as one and equal as I am and it was a cool
point of support and I stood as the expression of fine fancy foot work for a
moment and made up my own moves of fine fancy foot work and it was so much fun
and was like the most effortless flow as like weightless water
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
fearing to share my performance as me as self expression example
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
desiring to share stand-up comedy with strangers and not give a shit about
sharing with those in my immediate environment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
sharing stand-up comedy with those in my immediate environment.
I forgive myself for having a little bit of hesitation
within myself about letting loose on the dance floor.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to point the finger as a way
to of avoiding looking at self accepted and allowed self delusion.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having compromised performance/self expression with accepted and allowed self judgement.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating thoughts about the audience as people around me in my environment as accepted and allowed judgments about their perception.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
pointing the finger at my girlfriend and her friend as being ridiculous on the
dance floor because of their hesitation and resistance within themselves and I
forgive myself for not realising that I was pointing the finger because I was
irritated and annoyed with my own hesitance and accepted and allowed resistance
on the dance floor and my defense mechanism within myself were so on guard to
prevent me from recognizing my own accepted and allowed self sabotage/self suppression
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame
my girlfriend
I forgive myself for not realising the vast amount of
assistance and support my girlfriend has provided me as a mirror of self
reflection in studying reactions within daily participations.
I realise the vast amount of assistance and support my girlfriend has provided me as a mirror of self reflection in studying reactions within daily participations.
I realise self expression is flawless without fear/judgement
When and as I see myself resisting to share self
expression...I know this a point for me to push through and not give in to
resistance because I am capable of pushing through resistance with and as self
expression and therefore I birth myself as life with and as self expression in
the moment as who I am here in the moment as oneness and equality.
I commit myself to sharing my best performance always as
sound self expression as eternal orgasm
No comments:
Post a Comment