Day 34, Competition Comparison Judgement Fear Motivation Movement

Day 34, Competition Comparison Judgement Fear Motivation Movement

Ok, so my title says much.  Initially I was just going to write competition and the words comparison, judgement, fear, motivation, move, movement were connector words to the point of competition as these words signify the relationship I have developed within myself in and as competition.

So in my last writing the point of competition became more evident to me as a primary point within me.

I’ve been observing the competition relationship I have developed within myself and I have also noticed the point of ‘attention seeker’.  I had noticed previously that attention seeking was due to low self worth/inferiority as a point of seeking validation and approval from others as a way of self validation.

I see the competition point in relation to attention seeking going back to my early childhood years as I was the eldest child in my family and I can recall points of wanting my parents to see me do something well and praise me for it...like something as simple as a cannon ball big splash into a pool or some sort of time trial to see how fast I could do something...and these are just two examples...and ironically or not...this relates to me here today at my current job where I have been accustomed to boasting and bragging about my tree planting performances when I planted an extreme amount of trees/made an extreme amount of money on the day...also I notice I don’t tend to boast when my performance doesn’t seem so extreme...and also that if I have an extremely poor performance...I would justify it...kind of like a form of self pity.

So today, I recognized the point and tendency to seek praise for sharing an exceptional score and I stopped myself as I didn’t see it necessary to go out of my way to promote a great performance...as I felt guilty that I would be placing myself above of others and that wouldn’t contribute to great feelings of others self worth...it’s like to be recognized as superior I got praise from people who considered themselves inferior to me...and that is totally fucked to support inequality through superiority/inferiority relationships.

So, I’m going to open up self forgiveness on the point of competition and the connections i’ve made to completion as mind relationships...and ya, here I go:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I cannot move myself effectively if I am not in competition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that if I am not competing than I am in fact giving up and unable to move myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear of failure as a motivation as self competition for wanting/desiring to succeed in whatever I do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting losing/loss.

I forgive myself for not totally realising that success and succeeding and performing and in fact doing anything really well is the result of past failed attempts and learning from the mistakes/failures and transcending limitation and creating an exceptional presentation of and as self realisation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking for competition outside of myself in relation to others from and as the point of comparison.

I forgive myself for not realising that competition starts within me as the point of self perfection as to reach my fullest and greatest potential as every moment is the patience that is required to be walked along side perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for attaching self worth and self validation as points separate from myself by receiving praise from beings who perceive themselves as less than me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to compete from the starting point of separation as self loathing as inferiority with the desire to be appreciated and praised as great and righteous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself as performance functioning with feelings/emotions as polarity swings of up and down and yay or ney based upon past memories of previous performances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for comparing myself against others as separate versions of me that I am in completion and competing for superiority and self validation with and as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting people who are attention seekers like me looking for self validation and self praise for their various antics.

I forgive myself for not realising the people I resist the most and have the greatest reactions to are showing/revealing to me the greatest point within myself that I am attempting to suppress and deny.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing judgement, comparison, motivation, fear and movement to be connected words to competition as an energetically charged word within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me to manipulate my sharing’s to the point of what will provide me the biggest reaction and recognition from the person I am sharing a specific point with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for sharing from the perspective of self validation and self praise.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing any desire/want/need for recognition of attention seeking or self validation from peers and parents to boost self worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that recognition is nice and that I would like to receive it from everyone around me and that I am pissed at my parents for not praising my greatness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in vain as frustration and irritation at the point of looking at how ridiculous my acceptances and allowances have been in separation of the self realisation oneness and equality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a negative charge about competition and placing myself as in competition with myself as self fragmentation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that competition is bad and results in only abuse, not realising that I was accepting and allowing an abusive nature of and as competition and competition redefined from the starting point of oneness and equality results in and as self perfection in accordance with patience and self forgiveness application.

I realise that I was accepting and allowing an abusive nature of and as competition and competition redefined from the starting point of oneness and equality results in and as self perfection in accordance with patience and self forgiveness application.

I realise the people I resist the most and have the greatest reactions to are showing/revealing to me the greatest point within myself that I am attempting to suppress and deny.

I realise that competition starts within me as the point of self perfection as to reach my fullest and greatest potential as every moment is the patience that is required to be walked along side perfection.

I realise that success and succeeding and performing and in fact doing anything really well is the result of past failed attempts and learning from the mistakes/failures and transcending limitation and creating an exceptional presentation of and as self realisation.

I realise that I am here as the opportunity to live self correction as self realisation from and as self forgiveness application and that I am shown to myself when my application has been less than stellar and therefore I can self correct myself as self perfection with and as the patience that I am and therefore I walk here as oneness and equality always.

I realise each being is here as the point of assistance and support for and as the competition as self perfection to reach our greatest potential and capabilities as self fulfilling prophecy as oneness and equality as what is best for all in all ways here.

I realise letting go of competition as a polarity manifestation is an act of self empowerment as an enabling and enhancing self perfection as the self willed movement as diligence and determination to get this done absolute as the authoritative point of and as self responsibility to live what is best for all in all ways here.

When and as I see myself separating myself from and as the point of competition by reacting to competition/competitors as separate from me...I stop, I breathe and I realise that I am here as the point of competition as equality and oneness as self perfection as patience and the self realisation of equality and oneness to walk a point into absolute completion to the best of my abilities always from the starting point of and as my best work/performance/pure/raw/self-expression/self-fullfillment/self-realisation/self willed movement/self love/nourishment and care as a guardian and care taker of existence/universe.