Day 17, I Love Smoking

 
ok, so i've noticed that iv'e expressed the phrase many many times, "I love smoking". After going through the DIP material on the system design of love this triggered some questioning within myself as why do i say, "I love smoking"? It's kinda fucked up as I look at this point because I would profess my love for smoking to people like smoking is some kind of separate entity from me and that well I have the strongets kind of relationship connection with smoking and that smoking is the most positive experience for me as I generate the most intense feelings about smoking as a relationship connection as a point formed through the consciousness's of my minds as conscious, subconscious and unconscious.  It's like over time I developed a relationship with smoking and after I awhile I started letting people know that I love smoking...like two beings who were dating each other for a while and than started telling everyone that they now love each other.  It's like I use love as a defense to justify my participation with smoking, like there's so doubt within myself that maybe I shouldnt smoke...but I love it and how can i stop or let go of something I love. I quit smoking for a few months and than started again when I was introduced to an electronic cigarette that is technically a vapourizer that produces an odurless smoke which doesnt cause any second hand smoke complaints..and is legal to do anywhere. I professed my love of smoking to people I was around when I became aware of such a device.  It's like I had just cut smoking out of my life to check myself that I am in fact capable of not smoking and I do not have to religiously spend money on smoking.

Well, it's like I stopped and than I started again and justified my startting smoking again because I love it and well sure I'm smoking..but I'm not smoking traditional cigarettes or cigars anymore and I can smoke this electronic cigarette anywhere...and it's even cheaper than the costs of religiously/habitually smoking traditional cigarettes/cigars.

Within my writing/ranting and raving about the point of love for smoking...the point of justifying my actions appears visible to me,..like there is some guilt inside of me about this point. Perhaps this guilt inside of me is because it is not necessary for me to profess love for smoking...that smoking is an action/activity like talking or breathing is an activity or playing a game or a sport. Point being it is what it is...and I am always it...and it's not like action/game/activity can be separate from me because I am always the participant as it.

It's like why the energetic buildup around/about it?...Like I see how this love point is a breeding ground for separation from self...kinda religious in the sense of worship...like love being a praise or adorance/fondness...and that I must proclaim my love and defend my love....like wow...i see love as a system design creating instilling conflict...like a relationship is always a point of conflict and love is at one end of the polarity spectrum as a systematic system design and hate or fear is at the other end.

I realise the fuckedness of defining everything I do as in relationship to me and placing myself in and as energetic states by experiencing states of feelings/emotions

I see how in the past I've charged up feelings of happiness and excitement in relationship to smoking. Like I hadnt had a cigarette all day and I'd be excited or happy to have one after work or after dinner.

Ok, so it's clear to me that i've accepted and allowed systematic influcence with regards to smoking: love, happiness, excitement and I would also say peace beacuse it's like i'm not thinking too much when I'm smoking and im just kind of playing with my breathing and when I'm not smoking I'm not always aware of my breathing and my mind is moving and I see my mind moving as an accepted and allowed automated conflict that exists within myself...this however seems like a bullshit illusion though because of the fact that ive noticed and indicated the systems attached to smoking as love, happiness and excitement...which means I'm still kind of within my mind carrying out systematic polarity manifestations.

OK, so self forgiveness to follow on the points of love, happiness, excitement, peace and smoking.

Smoking

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting smoking to love, happiness, excitement and peace

I forgive myself for not realising the mind consciousness system attachments I had created in relationship to smoking as love, happiness, excitement and peace.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a relationship with smoking.

I forgive myself for not realising that the forming of a relationship is the integration of systems within my mind as a breeding ground for creating separation.

I forgive myself for not realising that I cannot actually be separate from smoking and that smoking is an expression of me as an activity and believing myself to be in a relationship with smoking is a mind delusion that I manifested based on charging the systems of love, happiness, excitement, and peace

I realise that I cannot actually be separate from smoking and that smoking is an expression of me as an activity and believing myself to in a relationship with smoking is a mind delusion that I manifested based on chargin the systems of love, happiness, excitement, and peace.

I realise the mind consciousness system attachments I had created in relationship to smoking as love, happiness, excitement and peace.

I realise how I've created mind delusions as percieved separation through creating and forming relationships.

When and as I see myself regarding smoking as something separate from myself, I stop, I breathe and I realise that I am not in relationship with smoking as creating and forming a relationship with smoking is a mind delusion. I allow myself to see the humor as the ridiculousness in creating/forming and charging relationships with mind consciousness systems.

Love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for professing love for smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for saying, 'I love smoking'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defending my love for smoking
.
I forgive myself for not realising the mind delusion as positive energy as love I had created a relationship to within myself about the act of smoking.

I forgive myself for not realising the mind relationship connection I was forming as systematic integrations within myself by uttering the word 'love' with regards to smoking.

I forgive myself for not realising the impact of the word love as mind consciousness system integration

I forgive myself for not realising the energetic associations I was creating within myself by saying I love smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for saying I love smoking out of fear of losing the oppurtunity and desire to smoke.

I forgive myself for not realising that I created a desire to smoke within myself charging feelings of love within my mind about smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for professing love for smoking because of the evil/bad stigma attached to smoking and that I therefore must defed smoking with love.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for saying I love smoking because deep within myself I held onto the accepted and allowed belief that smoking is evil, wrong or bad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying smoking as good and supportive because of the acceptnce and allowance of the statement, "I love smoking".


I realise that everything is me and that it is unnecessary and in fact abusive to accept and allow myself to give conflicting values to me as that manifests mind consciousness systems within my mind the creates energy fluctuations within my mind that manifests abuse to my body internally and my outer body as the world externally.

I realise the energetic associations I was creating within myself by saying, "I love smoking."

I realise the mind delusion as positive energy as love I had created a relationship to within myself about the act of smoking.

I realise that professing love for smoking out of fear of losing the oppurtunity and desire to smoke is ridiculous and absurd.

I realise the mind delusion as positive energy as love I had created as a relationship within myself about the act of smoking.

I realise the energetic associations I was creating within myself by saying I love smoking.

I realise the impact of the word love as mind consciousness system integration.

I realise the mind relationship connection I was forming as systematic integrations within myself by uttering the word 'love' with regards to smoking.

I realise the mind delusion as positive energy as love I had created a relationship to within myself about the act of smoking.

happiness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for connecting happiness to the phrase, "I love smoking"

I forgive myself for not realising that happiness is the polarity opposite of sadness and dissapointment and that professing, 'I love smoking' exposes accepted and allowed sadness and dissapointment within myself when I am not smoking.

I forgive myself for not realising the suppressed emotions within myself as sadness and dissapointment as the reason for the pursuit of happiness.

I forgive myself for not realising that I've used smoking as a coping mechanism of dealing with sadness and disapointment within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe happiness exists.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that smoking brings me happiness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be happy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the act of smoking because I am happy to smoke.

I forgive myself for not realising that justifying the act of smoking because I am happy to smoke is connected to the fear of facing suppressed emotions in every moment while not smoking.

I forgive myself for not realising the delusion in the statment, " I am happy to smoke"

I forgive myself for not realising that happiness is the same energetic mind charged frequency as excitement.

I forgive myself for not realising that I've been compounding sadness and dissapointment within myself by particpating in the act of smoking from the starting point of connecting happiness to smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining happiness in relation/connection to smiling, laughing and joy.

I forgive myself for not realising that smiling, laughing and joy are not dependant upon positive feelings as positive charged energy resulting from accepting and allowing polarity friction to exist within self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe a person is happy because they are smiling or laughing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limmiting the expression of smiling or laughing to the polarity equation of happiness.

I forgive myself for not realising the limitations of happiness as an energetic charge that doesnt last forever.

I realise that smiling, laughing and joy are not dependant upon positive feelings as positive charged energy resulting from accepting and allowing polarity friction to exist within self.

I realise the limitations of happiness as an energetic charge that doesnt last forever.

I realise the the delusion in the statement, "I am happy to smoke"

I realise that I've been compounding sadness and dissapointment within myself by particpating in the act of smoking from the starting point of connecting happiness to smoking.

I realise that happiness is the same energetic mind charged frequency as excitement.

I realise that justifying the act of smoking because I am happy to smoke is connected to the fear of facing suppressed emotions in every moment while not smoking.

I realise that I've used smoking as a coping mechanism of dealing with sadness and disapointment within myself.

I realise the suppressed emotions within myself as sadness and dissapointment as the reason for the pursuit of happiness.

I realise that happiness is the polarity opposite of sadness and dissapointment and that professing, 'I love smoking' exposes accepted and allowed sadness and dissapointment within myself when I am not smoking.

I realise the pursuit of happiness is a coping mechanism rooted in the fear of facing suppresed emotions.

When and as I see myself in the pursuit of happiness, I stop, I breathe and face the suppressed emotions I am attempting to avoid and further compound in the pursuit of happiness. I realise and see the humor as the ridiculousness in trying to run away or avoid facing suppressed emotions. I allow myself to apply effective self frogiveness and corrective statements in the moment as I face my suppressed emotions. Happiness therfore acts as a tool of self support as an indicator/indication that I have suppressed emotions that are required to be released with self forgiveness and self corrective statements.

excitement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for attaching excitement to the act of smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for attaching excitement to the statement, "I love smoking"

I forgive myself for not realising that excitement like happiness is an indicator of suppressed emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a relationship connection to smoking and excitement.

I forgive myself for not realising that as a result of the relationship connection of smoking to happiness and excitement that I would want/desire to smoke when I am happy or excited.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the positive energy as feelings I would be charging as my mind consciousness system as a result of accepting and allowing excitement within myself

I realise the positve energy as feelings I would be charging as my mind consciousness system as a result of accepting and allowing excitement within myself.

I realise that as a result of the relationship connection of smoking to happiness and excitement that I would want/desire to smoke when I am happy or excited

I realise that as a result of the relationship connection of smoking to happiness and excitement and love and peace that I would charge those mind consciousness systems within myself as a result of smoking as an act of fueling the established relationship connection.

I realise I do not require any relationship connections.

I realise relationship connections are ridiculously absurd.

I realise I am in the process of severing all relationship connections so that I can erradicate all forms of conlfict/separation in all ways.

When and as I see myself experiencing excitement, I stop, I breathe and I realise that I am accepting and allowing conflict within myself as a result of supressed emotions. I then in the moment face my suppressed emotions and release them with self forgiveness and self corrective statements and allow myself to see the humor as the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing excitement to exist within myself.

Peace

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting smoking to peace.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting the word love to peace.

I forgive myself for not realising that the word 'peace' is a polarity charged word in relation to war/conflict

I forgive myself for not realising that for peace to exist war/conflict must also exist.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that proclaiming that, 'smoking is peaceful and that smoking assists and supports me to be at peace within myself' is a statement of confirmation that I am compounding war/conflict within myself when I am not smoking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying smoking as good and supportive because it assists me to be at peace within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing  war/conflict and peace to exist within myself as polarity energy fluctuations.

I forgive myself for not realising that by accepting allowing war/conflict and peace to exist in myself that I was perpetuating separation within myself as war/conflict and peace.

I forgive myself for not realising that peace is connected to the guilt of accepting and allowing conflict/war to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for not realising that I was experiencing guilt within myself as a result of turning a blind eye to the conflict/war that's been existing within myself.

I realise I was experiencing guilt within myself as a result of turning a blind eye to the conflict/war that's been existing within myself.

I realise peace is connected to the guilt of accepting and allowing conflict/war to exist within myself.

I realise accepting allowing war/conflict and peace to exist in myself that I was perpetuating separation within myself as war/conflict and peace.

I realise proclaiming that, 'smoking is peaceful and that smoking assists and supports me to be at peace within myself' is a statement of confirmation that I am compounding war/conflict within myself when I am not smoking.

I realise that for peace to exist war/conflict must also exist.

I realise the word 'peace' is a polarity charged word in relation to war/conflict

When and as I see myself justifying an action as peaceful, I stop, I breathe and realise that peace is in relationship to war/conflict and that I do not require justifications as justification is based on just if I see a tie on....and I realise that peace is tied  on to war/conflict and I realise the ridiculousness of professing peace or love as some sort of bullshit justifcation.


redefining words

love:

I've experienced loved as strong feelings of desire and as a positve energy charge. I had formed a loving relationship with smoking as I had strong desires to smoke and feelings about and when smoking and I had also connected the words happiness, peace and excitement to the word love.

dictionary definition

love  (lv) n. 1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. 2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance. 3. a. Sexual passion. b. Sexual intercourse. c. A love affair. 4. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object. 5. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment. 6. An expression of one's affection: Send him my love. 7. a. A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language. b. The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love. 8. Love Mythology Eros or Cupid. 9. often Love Christianity Charity. 10. Sports A zero score in tennis. v. loved, lov·ing, loves v.tr. 1. To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person): We love our parents. I love my friends. 2. To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person). 3. To have an intense emotional attachment to: loves his house. 4. a. To embrace or caress. b. To have sexual intercourse with. 5. To like or desire enthusiastically: loves swimming. 6. Theology To have charity for. 7. To thrive on; need: The cactus loves hot, dry air. v.intr. To experience deep affection or intense desire for another. Idioms: for love Out of compassion; with no thought for a reward: She volunteers at the hospital for love. for love or money Under any circumstances. Usually used in negative sentences: I would not do that for love or money. for the love of For the sake of; in consideration for: did it all for the love of praise. in love 1. Deeply or passionately enamored: a young couple in love. 2. Highly or immoderately fond: in love with Japanese painting; in love with the sound of her own voice. no love lost No affection; animosity: There's no love lost between them. [Middle English, from Old English lufu; see leubh- in Indo-European roots.] Synonyms: love, affection, devotion, fondness, infatuation These nouns denote feelings of warm personal attachment or strong attraction to another person. Love is the most intense: marrying for love. Affection is a less ardent and more unvarying feeling of tender regard: parental affection. Devotion is earnest, affectionate dedication and implies selflessness: teachers admired for their devotion to children. Fondness is strong liking or affection: a fondness for small animals. Infatuation is foolish or extravagant attraction, often of short duration: lovers blinded to their differences by their mutual infatuation.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

looking at the word love and playing with the word:

love is evol in reverse which sounds like evil which is to live backwards and evolution in reverse is a devolution as diminishment which seems like destruction and devastation and love also  kinda sounds like its got the law in it....law-ve and to kinda have laws seems like a middle road approach where indecision is accepted as indecisiveness like maybe this is best or maybe this is best...which leads to uncertainty which suggests possible consequnences for unjust actions...but maybe not...because one can hope that the best decision is picked and consequence is avoided...yet this is not known due to the uncertainty and instability of love as indecisiveness as like an energy that runs out which is a diminishment and a disastorous distruction that is not structurally sound and everlasting because there is uncertainty of law in the sound of the word love.

redefining love:

love as a word is innocent, yet love as an expression is deceptive and uncertain as it is based on a relationship connection and relationship connections are rooted in the mind as separation which is a delusion and disastorous to the law of our being as oneness and equality as an absolute agreement as being structurally sound as a sound foundation that cannot diminsh. Therefore our shared reality reflects the nastyness of love as abuse due to the uncertainity in absolute commitment as what is best for all as a result of indecisiveness as a result of the apparent choice to love or not to love this one or that one.

There is some cool potential however within and as the word 'love'..because the fuckedness is clearly visible within and as the word love and therfore the fuckedness can be corrected and transformed into absolute awesomeness in all ways always what is best as clear common sense which is rooted in and as self trust which brings about certainty and removes the doubt and consequence of uncertainty as accepted and allowed dishonesty. Therefore absolute self honesty and self trust is required in all ways to transform love from being in relationship to agreement as absolute agreement as a practical living self realisation.

At the moment we are in process from relationship to agreement and therfore at this moment love is non existent as work made visible as the manifestation of heaven on earth because at the moment unfortunately abuse exists which is an indication of hell on earth and a suppression of love as love thy neighbour as thy self.

Happiness

I've experienced happiness as a polarity charged energetic experience which is positively charged as a feeling which is opposite of the emotions of sadness and dissapointment. I've connected happiness to the word love as a relationship connection that feels good and produces experience of positive energy which is the result opposite of negative energy as the experience of emotions. I had previously incorporated my happiness to smoking. Also I had attached smiling and laughing and joy to the word happiness.

dictionary defintion

hap·py  (hp)

adj. hap·pi·er, hap·pi·est

1. Characterized by good luck; fortunate.

2. Enjoying, showing, or marked by pleasure, satisfaction, or joy.

3. Being especially well-adapted; felicitous: a happy turn of phrase.

4. Cheerful; willing: happy to help.

5.

a. Characterized by a spontaneous or obsessive inclination to use something. Often used in combination: trigger-happy.

b. Enthusiastic about or involved with to a disproportionate degree. Often used in combination: money-happy; clothes-happy.

---

[Middle English, from hap, luck; see hap.]

---

happi·ly adv.

happi·ness n.

Synonyms: happy, fortunate, lucky, providential
These adjectives mean attended by luck or good fortune: a happy outcome; a fortunate omen; a lucky guess; a providential recovery. See Also Synonyms at glad¹.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Playing and looking at the word happiness:

happin-ness...the happening of happineness...haaa-peee-nest....a penis...ha-penis..funny penis...ha! penis!...ha-pee in the nest. Pee in the nest..like pee as in piss...like pissing yourself as a result of uncontrollable laughter...pissing yourself to do emotion/feeling overload...like being sooo high and giddy that you pissed yourself...happiness...ha-pines///laugh trees....ah-penis..like...the ultimate pleasure sensation of the penis....happiness is like the errction of the penis...ha-penis///ahh penis..happenings of a penis as mind as mind fuck as mind is like an addiction...and hence the penis ...i mean the dick in addiction and thus...happines.is by charging the penis in your head...mind-fucking is lke playing with penis's...and realising the mind fuck...of mind fuckedness is to be like ahh penis...cuz you realise how happiness is created as the buld up of suppressed emotions and is the polarity opposite...like from small dick to be dick...ha penis. ahh penis. penis fear. pursuit of happiness is the pursuit of ah penis...for the desired fucking/orgasmic release as a result of temporary release of buld up emotions.

redefining happiness:

Happiness is an energetic buildup based upon suppressed emotions.  Happiness doesnt really exist at the moment as equality and oneness because happiness is currently expressed and pursued by beings as polarity charged positivity build up as a result of suppressed negativity/emotions which is limited and depleting energy like money created as debt and is therefore not everlasting....like
an errection that can only stand tall for so long.  Happiness as a word is innocennt. Happiness as equality and oneness doesnt exist. Happiness expressed in a world where suffering exists is deceptive.


check the following links: http://desteniiprocess.com  http://desteni.org  http://eqafe.com  http://equalmoney.org