Day 32, Directing The Flow

Day 32, Directing the Flow

Ok, so today is my day off from tree planting and there are many tasks for me to accomplish in a limited amount of time. My day off is my one chance in the week to have a little bit of internet time. I used the internet to post my daily writings in my journey to life series and to submit my DIP assignments. Also I had to pay a cell phone bill. My access to the internet cam this morning and I had to be persistent in order to accomplish all these tasks.  The people that I was in the motel room with were anxious to leave the room and get going and I had to keep focused on the tasks at hand.  I experienced slight anxiety/stress within myself about finishing my computer tasks before I was out of time. It’s like I felt a little bit of peer pressure to hurry up or just stop what I am doing because my peers are bored and want to check out of the motel earlier than the allotted/scheduled check out time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise self direction as a result of peer pressure as external influence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry about my peers and their self satisfaction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hesitate about directing every moment of myself as the flow of my go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself as selfish for directing myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining, ‘selfish’ with a negative charge.

I forgive myself for wishing other beings were more proactive in directing the flow.

I forgive myself for not realising the flow as the mind consciousness systems seamlessly flowing and playing out. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for confusing self direction with the flow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting annoyed at beings that seem to be lacking self direction.  I forgive myself for not realising that getting annoyed at beings for lack of self direction is because 

I am annoyed at myself for lacking self direction in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self direction to be perceived as a chore/work and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define chore/work as negative and to be avoided and have resistance towards.

I forgive myself for not realising gratitude and gratefulness for self direction capabilities.

I realise as a creator I am self responsible for directing myself.

I realise self direction starts with presence of breath.

I realise self direction as oneness and equality entails pushing through resistance because of self suppression as separation through and as mind consciousness systems.

I realise I am alone in standing as self direction.

I realise the flow as the mind consciousness systems seamlessly flowing and playing out.  I realise the difference between mind consciousness systems flowing within me and self direction within me as stopping mind consciousness systems.

When and as I see myself resisting to direct myself/life, I stop, I breathe and I realise I am the starting point of self direction as oneness and equality.