Day 20, Money Problems

So, I got on the greyhound bus yesterday and I had to buy new bus tickets for me and my girlfriend.  We had bought tickets a while ago to get the most reduced rate for travel fares...anyways...we needed to exchange our tickets for a different date as our work date had been changed which influenced our travel plans...greyhound does ticket exchanges for 15dollar fee...the issue with this working for us was that we purchased our tickets online...and we had to talk to customer services...because customer services for online ticket issues is different organization that tickets purchased directly from the station...anyways...Customer service said it was ok to exchange tickets at station for 15dollar fee...however they would have to fax the station permission to do so. The fax was sent at 8am...our bus was scheduled to leave at 10am...we were trying to get our tickets exchanged at 930am...the station said they could not exchange our tickets until they received the fax...i called customer service from greyhound station on greyhound phone and passed the phone to a greyhound agent to see if we could just get a verbal confirmation as the information was in the computer and we had the fax verification number...and the customer service people said fax had been sent...however sometimes faxes take as long as three hours to be received. I waited till a couple minutes before 10am before dishing out double the money spent on the earlier purchased tickets because people at greyhound station and at customer service said there was nothing they could do...It was kind of a what the fuck moment...like waiting on a fucking fax for confirmation..like...every person involved in sending or ready to receive the fax knows the situation...yet nothing can be done....where was the fax...in between processors.... anyways...i  was laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation as it seemed completely retarded and void of any common sense.

Anyways...this seems an appropriate time to clear myself about any emotions connected to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing losing money that I did not plan to lose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for attaching feelings/emotions to money and that  I’m feeling good when I got money and that I’m emotionally low when I’m losing money. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating energetic charges within my mind in and as relationship to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for separating myself from and as money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself worth based on the amount of money I have as a result of accepting and allowing self worth to be judged on the basis of an energetic polarity charge based on the amount of money I have and how I feel about it as an energetic charge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for supporting the global abusive money system as money created as debt is abusive and disregards life equality and oneness in all ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting with emotion and anger and frustration for being dependent upon money for my well being here in this reality where money is created as debt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting the fear of losing money to the fear of death because if I don’t have money there is a greater chance that I will not be able to afford to live and and survive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not considering all the people that are not surviving everyday due to a lack of money and not being able to win the competition in order to get and maintain a savings account of money.

I forgive myself for not realising that I first developed a relationship with money when I was born into this world as it seems our mind consciousness system is based on this polarity relationship as fear of survival...and survival of the fittest as money as debt as the global currency/electricity that makes movement and gives direction to beings in reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justified some beings as just being fucked and not smart enough or well adept to win and therefore not worthy of living because they just didn’t play the game well as getting and obtaining lots of money.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for only concerning myself as self interest as separate from all others as me in other life’s...I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mindfucking with myself as the pursuit of happiness...as like chasing a penis as a mind fuck...as not really ever having lived in a way which is best for everyone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being possessed and obsessed by money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being angry and frustrated and irritated at the fact that I’ve allowed myself to be obsessed and possessed by money and therefore as a result allowed myself to suppress myself as concern for having money and just spent my money frivolously as a way to say fuck you money...and therefore saying fuck you to myself as spiting myself as taking care of myself in the best ways possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for enjoying spending money because it makes me feel good as giving me an energetic charge or righteousness.

I forgive myself for not realising that spending money frivolously has been feeding my energetic charge of self righteousness.

I forgive myself for not realising that I would often look to spend money when I am feeling low emotionally or when I am starting to feel an energetic high as a way to boost or maintain my energetic high.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for stressing myself out physically by worrying and fearing losing money and wondering if I will make enough money to live comfortably.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to make billions of dollars.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blaming people who have lots of money and keep quiet about speaking out loud about the fuckedness of our monetary system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to cowardly actions about the monetary system...not realising that I have been cowardly in my speaking out against the fuckedness of the monetary system as money created as debt as an absolute travesty of life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting with anger and irritation and annoyance and frustration to seeing establishments closed and transformed to cheaper establishments that sell inferior products because it is more profitable and takes less maintenance to sell shitty food that’s pre packaged as required no equipment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to yell at people for the fuckedness of the money system because I am pissed off at myself for having accepted and a monetary system of fucked up abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be pissed off at myself for the acceptance and allowance of a fucked up monetary system that disregards life support in all ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for existing like the fucked up monetary system of abuse by accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself with reactions as energetic polarity charges within and as min acceptances and allowance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring instantaneous awesome changes which are best for life in all ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing myself as point by point self realisations as instantaneous awesome changes which is best for life in and as all ways.

I forgive myself for not realising the accumulation factor of self change as point by point as the accumulation of points in making up the total transformation as birthing myself as life from and as the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be the point that actively influences the monetary change as what is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept tiredness as an excuse for not working to facilitate change as what is best for all in all ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reacting to the bullshit fuckedness that is spoken aloud on the news in the room that I am sitting in at the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using money as a point of blame as a way to justify bullshit fuckedness and stupidity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing bullshit fuckedness within myself as a means to justify self righteousness within myself as a means of self defense and self protection to avoid reflecting each point back to myself that I react to.

I realise that I first developed a relationship with money when I was born into this world as it seems our mind consciousness system is based on this polarity relationship as fear of survival...and survival of the fittest as money as debt as the global currency/electricity that makes movement and gives direction to beings in reality

I realise that spending money frivolously has been feeding my energetic charge of self righteousness.

I realise that I would often look to spend money when I am feeling low emotionally or when I am starting to feel an energetic high as a way to boost or maintain my energetic high.

I realise the accumulation factor of self change as point by point as the accumulation of points in making up the total transformation as birthing myself as life from and as the physical.

When and as I see myself reacting with emotions or feelings to money I stop myself from charging energetic polarity mind energies within myself as I realise the self inflicted abuse I am causing onto my physical body as a result of charging up polarity energies through my minds as feelings/emotions.

I commit myself to speaking out about the fuckedness of the monetary system as debt which is contributing to global fuckedness.

I commit myself to being creative in my expression in sharing and educating people on the fuckedness of the monetary system as debt.

I commit myself to correcting the monetary system as debt and fuckedness as life abuse.

I commit myself to practical living as life support to support the best interest of life in all ways.