Day 579 The Question in Hearing and Seeing What is Here

It's interesting and shameful to see my relationship to and as what I hear within a moment. Why? Because I've noticed that in certain moments what I hear resonates so painfully clear with what I have accepted and allowedwithin myself. What's interesting to see within these particular moments of hearing here is that there is a point of profound self-reflection and the opportunity to assist and support that unfortunately gets misdirected within taking offense/defense to what I here...where the point of my self-reflection and self-introspection gets lost within and as my self-judgment as how I have defined what is here as separate from myself...and within this point of accepted and allowed separation, I see and realize that I react within the various realm of self-judgement, because it is as I define a point separate from myself and believe another to be separate from me that there real shame perpetuates because it's a point of hiding within myself where I want to focus on controlling another through the realms of my own self-righteous judgment where I have defined me as right and another as wrong and within this the point of seeing and communicating I am at a cross roads of sort...an accepted and allowed conflict...because what I hear here always exists within me...because if we regard the point of relativity and the point of how I hear as a reflection of my ability to process within myself...what I always here is therefore a reflection of me here.

So what I am starting to realize and understand is the unfortunate chain reaction that happens from time to time as the perpetuated play out in the interpretation of self-defining-judgment within and as how I hear here. 

I have been continuously given tremendous support from children with who I am grateful for the opportunity to work with on a daily basis teaching skiing.

I teach a particular child once a week for many consecutive weeks and this particular child reflects the points that I have attempted to hide from myself and what is interesting about this...is that I've resisted to investigate the extensiveness to which this child reflects points that exist within myself. So much so, that in many moments I would simply try to ignore the sounds coming from this particular child, because I was trying to protect myself from facing the points of self-correction within myself that are most unfortunate...and in this way...I see and realize my minds tendency within my self-created auto defense systems as a way to prevent me from really facing the roots of a point within total self-reflection...

So this particular child so clearly embodies the point of stimulation for self-satisfaction and is quite effective in directing/orchestrating his own personal self-stimulation and amusement as his constant continuous motion without particular regard for how his desire for self-stimulation and self-satisfaction impacts and influences those around him.

To Be Continued