Day 592 Postponement

I notice that I am very flexible to re-adjusting/re-scheduling/delaying participation within particular engagements. I am questioning this flexibility because I see it as a false sense of flexibility in certain circumstances because the point of postponement becomes like a reasoned excuse to justify my self-diligence within particular moments where I require to be steadfast within staying on task and making something work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to regard the consequences of postponement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have used the point of re-scheduling/postponement in a self-deceptive manner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become self-reliant on postponement as a way of coping with my accepted and allowed reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being lazy within and as my self-responsibility of and as my self-direction here in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for talking myself out of commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for postponing commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using the point of postponement and re-scheduling as a way to avoid commitment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dreading commitment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict towards honoring myself-commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating justifications as the reasoned excuses that I give value to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing value within justification...and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness and self deceptionwithin placing value in justification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that the word "commitment" starts within and as myself here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that any particular area of my life where I struggle with commitment reflects and an opportunity/gift for self-expansion because by thoroughly investigating the dimensions of the point in question, I am able and capable to transcend my own self-induced limitations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having allowed myself to be influenced by positive and or negative energies as the source of reasoning/justification in order to orchestrate moments of postponement. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of irrationality within being influenced by emotions/feelings/thoughts that randomly come up that act as a trigger reaction in deflecting my self-directive commitment and course or practical living self-responsibility.

When and as I see myself orchestrating reasons/justifications to change plans to accommodate thoughts/feelings/emotions that have just come up within myself, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand this reflects self-sabotage and that the root origins of my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions is fear based and that any resistance towards a particular commitment/task is a clear indication of the importance and responsibility of myself to step into the point of resistance and direct the point into conflict resolution as a result of effectively and efficiently walking through the resistance. I realize and understand that any time that I suppress a point of resistance/commitment, I am in fact perpetuating a cognitive dissonance towards that particular point and moving through the point will seem more tedious/difficult. I commit myself to stop suppressing points of resistance/commitments. I commit myself take self-responsibility for my commitments and to exercise the living of self-diligence within and as my self-commitments here. I commit myself to stop being flexible within and as the point of postponement from and as a perspective of being willing to deviate from personal responsibilities because of a particular thought/feeling/emotion energy came up within my mind. I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to be ruled and controlled by thoughts/feelings/emotions. I commit myself to investigating my thoughts/feelings/emotions as I realize and understand the self-reflection within and as my thoughts/feelings/emotions as a way to expose my self-dishonesty here. I commit myself to self-correct my self-dishonesty. I commit myself to stop fearing to face myself dishonesty. I commit myself to be humble within facing my acceptances and allowances.